Wapo Date Lab: Daters say they don’t tolerate racial bias. Their actions say otherwise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cant understand people who say I am not attracted to X people. I can find beautiful, attractive, smart people in any city, any country with any background. There are really hot black men, white men, asian med, indian men, russian men, eastern european mean, south american men, central american man, african men, tall men, short men, muscular men, etc. I do have a type but I dont limit myself. There have been men that I wasnt very attracted to look-wise but their minds/personality was amazing and vice versa.

So for the people who say you are hard-wired to be attracted to a certain demographic, what do you make of those of us like me?

""What we see as attractive is a byproduct of not only our biological wiring, but is also influenced by socio-cultural factors," says David Sarwerof the Center for Human Appearance at the University of Pennsylvania.Although individual differences in what we consider attractive "are not well-understood," Sarwer says, we are shaped by "what we learn from our parents and peers as well as what we see in the mass media."

+1 Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have wondered about this and might as well ask it here:
I am a white woman, tall, blond, blue eyes.
On match, you can see who "likes" you and those men are over 90 percent non-white, mostly black and Indian it seems

I always wonder if I am not attractive to white men...my friend thinks it's because white men don't like that I am a mom?

Do you put down on your profile that you are a mom?

[Anonymous]

White woman here. I'm married. So I'm out of the dating scene, but I think you point out something I've observed as well. I've actually known some white men who *only* date Asian women.

They keep hoping to find a submissive one despite repeated experience that Asian women are not actually submissive...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

White woman here. I'm married. So I'm out of the dating scene, but I think you point out something I've observed as well. I've actually known some white men who *only* date Asian women.

They keep hoping to find a submissive one despite repeated experience that Asian women are not actually submissive...

This! They bought into a stereotype and can’t shake it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

White woman here. I'm married. So I'm out of the dating scene, but I think you point out something I've observed as well. I've actually known some white men who *only* date Asian women.

They keep hoping to find a submissive one despite repeated experience that Asian women are not actually submissive...

This! They bought into a stereotype and can’t shake it.

Lucy Liu says she never dates anyone who only dates Asians.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

My husband prefers Asians (not sure how I made the cut). Never knew I was married to a racist.

Well, now you do. Raise your kids better.

Omg that made me laugh. Thanks - I needed that!

It’s funny until your teens’ social media posts end up on the news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

White woman here. I'm married. So I'm out of the dating scene, but I think you point out something I've observed as well. I've actually known some white men who *only* date Asian women.

They keep hoping to find a submissive one despite repeated experience that Asian women are not actually submissive...

+1 lol... my white DH would agree with you.

-signed an Asian woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

White woman here. I'm married. So I'm out of the dating scene, but I think you point out something I've observed as well. I've actually known some white men who *only* date Asian women.

They keep hoping to find a submissive one despite repeated experience that Asian women are not actually submissive...

This! They bought into a stereotype and can’t shake it.

As a guy who prefers Asian women, there are numerous other benefits:

1. Many have little to no leg hair and don't even need to shave
2. Thicker hair on head, nice full head of hair
3. Many fewer apocrine glands under arms which means no "body odor" as long as they've showered within 24-48 hours - no need for deodorant
4. Skin has greater elasticity so signs of aging are put off by about 10 years when you're talking about 40 vs. 50 age range

These are just a few off the top of my head. I never expect an asian woman to be submissive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

White woman here. I'm married. So I'm out of the dating scene, but I think you point out something I've observed as well. I've actually known some white men who *only* date Asian women.

They keep hoping to find a submissive one despite repeated experience that Asian women are not actually submissive...

This! They bought into a stereotype and can’t shake it.

As a guy who prefers Asian women, there are numerous other benefits:

1. Many have little to no leg hair and don't even need to shave
2. Thicker hair on head, nice full head of hair
3. Many fewer apocrine glands under arms which means no "body odor" as long as they've showered within 24-48 hours - no need for deodorant
4. Skin has greater elasticity so signs of aging are put off by about 10 years when you're talking about 40 vs. 50 age range

These are just a few off the top of my head. I never expect an asian woman to be submissive.

Ew.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

My husband prefers Asians (not sure how I made the cut). Never knew I was married to a racist.

Well, now you do. Raise your kids better.

Omg that made me laugh. Thanks - I needed that!

It’s funny until your teens’ social media posts end up on the news.

I’ll take my chances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

White woman here. I'm married. So I'm out of the dating scene, but I think you point out something I've observed as well. I've actually known some white men who *only* date Asian women.

They keep hoping to find a submissive one despite repeated experience that Asian women are not actually submissive...

This! They bought into a stereotype and can’t shake it.

As a guy who prefers Asian women, there are numerous other benefits:

1. Many have little to no leg hair and don't even need to shave
2. Thicker hair on head, nice full head of hair
3. Many fewer apocrine glands under arms which means no "body odor" as long as they've showered within 24-48 hours - no need for deodorant
4. Skin has greater elasticity so signs of aging are put off by about 10 years when you're talking about 40 vs. 50 age range

These are just a few off the top of my head. I never expect an asian woman to be submissive.

Ew.

Right? It’s like someone was taking stock of a thoroughbred at auction. Shudder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This article is ridiculous. It told me that there is actually more racial bias in dating preference from one race, but then stated a bunch of excuses for that and turned around and lectured another race.

And also, part of what is maddening about this current time is that this country is not only black and white! I swear, you would think only two races exist in the United States.

You would think this is a Black Country with a pesky white minority group.

[Anonymous]

Mostly I like a kind guy with a lot of money. Any race Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so stupid. So if I were a lesbian, would that mean I was somehow prejudiced against men? No.

Yes, and if you wouldn't date a transwoman you would also be transphobic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have wondered about this and might as well ask it here:
I am a white woman, tall, blond, blue eyes.
On match, you can see who "likes" you and those men are over 90 percent non-white, mostly black and Indian it seems

I always wonder if I am not attractive to white men...my friend thinks it's because white men don't like that I am a mom?

Busty or big booty?

Lol! I am built like Brooke Shields (current)