Why don't you pay mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny and worked for a family like this through their divorce. Dad felt that mom was wasting his money and wouldn’t pay because he believed it was all unnecessary.

Doctor bills: mom preferred a more expensive holistic doctor to treat the kid’s chronic asthma, so dad refused to pay. Dad did not seek alternatives that were less expensive, did not make any appointments or manage any treatments, and in fact did not even give them meds during overnights, leading to at least one asthma attack.

The kid was diagnosed with autism. Dad didn’t believe that autism is real, so he refused to pay for any therapy, tutoring, medication, etc.

Dad didn’t care about extracurriculars so he didn’t pay for them.

How is this not child neglect?

Tons of child neglect out there all around.

We should start to focus on how to best stop the tragedy of divorce of our children. How to help them become people who will work hard to stay married? How to help them learn to get along with people they’re mad at? How to pick girlfriends/boyfriends of good moral character? And eventually of spouse of good moral character?

Bitch bye

There is a reason you are divorced and have a bad relationship with your ex.

Please leave. You are nasty and clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny and worked for a family like this through their divorce. Dad felt that mom was wasting his money and wouldn’t pay because he believed it was all unnecessary.

Doctor bills: mom preferred a more expensive holistic doctor to treat the kid’s chronic asthma, so dad refused to pay. Dad did not seek alternatives that were less expensive, did not make any appointments or manage any treatments, and in fact did not even give them meds during overnights, leading to at least one asthma attack.

The kid was diagnosed with autism. Dad didn’t believe that autism is real, so he refused to pay for any therapy, tutoring, medication, etc.

Dad didn’t care about extracurriculars so he didn’t pay for them.

How is this not child neglect?

Tons of child neglect out there all around.

We should start to focus on how to best stop the tragedy of divorce of our children. How to help them become people who will work hard to stay married? How to help them learn to get along with people they’re mad at? How to pick girlfriends/boyfriends of good moral character? And eventually of spouse of good moral character?

Bitch bye

There is a reason you are divorced and have a bad relationship with your ex.

Please leave. You are nasty and clueless.

Why don't you leave? Using the term "b" is completely inappropriate even if you disagree with someone. If someone treats a stranger that way, imagine how they treat their spouse or ex?

[Anonymous]

The topic is not even appropriate as its why don't you pay mom? Mom's don't get paid to be mom's. They get child support to pay for the other parent's portion of the child's needs based off income. It isn't necessarily supposed to cover everything.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, this is my brother. He’s just selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny and worked for a family like this through their divorce. Dad felt that mom was wasting his money and wouldn’t pay because he believed it was all unnecessary.

Doctor bills: mom preferred a more expensive holistic doctor to treat the kid’s chronic asthma, so dad refused to pay. Dad did not seek alternatives that were less expensive, did not make any appointments or manage any treatments, and in fact did not even give them meds during overnights, leading to at least one asthma attack.

The kid was diagnosed with autism. Dad didn’t believe that autism is real, so he refused to pay for any therapy, tutoring, medication, etc.

Dad didn’t care about extracurriculars so he didn’t pay for them.

How is this not child neglect?

Tons of child neglect out there all around.

We should start to focus on how to best stop the tragedy of divorce of our children. How to help them become people who will work hard to stay married? How to help them learn to get along with people they’re mad at? How to pick girlfriends/boyfriends of good moral character? And eventually of spouse of good moral character?

Bitch bye

There is a reason you are divorced and have a bad relationship with your ex.

Please leave. You are nasty and clueless.

Why don't you leave? Using the term "b" is completely inappropriate even if you disagree with someone. If someone treats a stranger that way, imagine how they treat their spouse or ex?

I didn't call you a B. That was someone else. But you came to a Special Concerns forum to lecture us about how we should have worked harder to keep our marriages and I guess to tell us that whatever we got we deserve. Takes a special kind of person to do that. I'm sorry you can't see that. I'm so happy that you are perfect in every way and that you never had any difficulty in life. Good for you. Now, please leave the rest of us, imperfect folks, to commiserate without your judgemental posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny and worked for a family like this through their divorce. Dad felt that mom was wasting his money and wouldn’t pay because he believed it was all unnecessary.

Doctor bills: mom preferred a more expensive holistic doctor to treat the kid’s chronic asthma, so dad refused to pay. Dad did not seek alternatives that were less expensive, did not make any appointments or manage any treatments, and in fact did not even give them meds during overnights, leading to at least one asthma attack.

The kid was diagnosed with autism. Dad didn’t believe that autism is real, so he refused to pay for any therapy, tutoring, medication, etc.

Dad didn’t care about extracurriculars so he didn’t pay for them.

How is this not child neglect?

Tons of child neglect out there all around.

We should start to focus on how to best stop the tragedy of divorce of our children. How to help them become people who will work hard to stay married? How to help them learn to get along with people they’re mad at? How to pick girlfriends/boyfriends of good moral character? And eventually of spouse of good moral character?

Bitch bye

There is a reason you are divorced and have a bad relationship with your ex.

Please leave. You are nasty and clueless.

Why don't you leave? Using the term "b" is completely inappropriate even if you disagree with someone. If someone treats a stranger that way, imagine how they treat their spouse or ex?

I didn't call you a B. That was someone else. But you came to a Special Concerns forum to lecture us about how we should have worked harder to keep our marriages and I guess to tell us that whatever we got we deserve. Takes a special kind of person to do that. I'm sorry you can't see that. I'm so happy that you are perfect in every way and that you never had any difficulty in life. Good for you. Now, please leave the rest of us, imperfect folks, to commiserate without your judgemental posts.

I don't think you should work harder to keep your marriage going. That was someone else, but I don't agree with the name calling or telling someone to leave or calling them names if you don't agree with them. But, on the flip side the constant man/dad slamming gets old as there are also many decent men who do pay their child support and want to be involved and aren't allowed by the other parent who may have been the one causing the marriage problems. It goes both ways.

And, why don't you pay mom makes no sense as child support is not a payment for mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When children ceased being virtually inevitable due to birth control, many (not all) men started to deeply believe, probably in ways they cannot fully articulate, that children should be women's problems at the end of the day, including the very basic, traditionally masculine role of providing for them. Children are optional and when couples "opt" for them and the couple part doesn't work out, many men believe that the mother should bear the brunt.

I once took a class from an economics professor who did research on economics within family life. He did some study that demonstrated that men support whoever they are currently sleeping with and her children to an extent equal or greater than their own biological offspring. In other words, at least financially, they treated their step children better than their biological children.

I read about that study a long time ago, somewhere. Maybe it was reprinted in a magazine or -online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of men are done with the kids when they're no longer in love with the woman. They may be around at first, but then they move on and start a new family, and the kids from the first marriage are an inconvenient reminder of their ex. They want to focus their attention and yes, their money, on their current family with the current woman. I have two men like that in my own extended family... my relative doesn't even know her father had a wife and son before he married her mother. So hard to stay out of it and not tell her she has a half brother.

Hunh, I have a couple of friends in this situation. Dad moved on, had a new family, they rarely heard from him. I thought it was unique; apparently not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of men are done with the kids when they're no longer in love with the woman. They may be around at first, but then they move on and start a new family, and the kids from the first marriage are an inconvenient reminder of their ex. They want to focus their attention and yes, their money, on their current family with the current woman. I have two men like that in my own extended family... my relative doesn't even know her father had a wife and son before he married her mother. So hard to stay out of it and not tell her she has a half brother.

Hunh, I have a couple of friends in this situation. Dad moved on, had a new family, they rarely heard from him. I thought it was unique; apparently not.

Again, so you assume the worst of everyone. What about when mom has an affair, leaves dad and takes the kids and despite court orders refuses to let Dad see the kids. Dad pays child support and extra's so you cannot claim its a money issue. What about when Dad's call and kids/mom doesn't answer the phone? What about when Dad goes to pick up the kids or buys plane tickets and Mom refuses to see them? It goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Err, then Dad goes to court?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of men are done with the kids when they're no longer in love with the woman. They may be around at first, but then they move on and start a new family, and the kids from the first marriage are an inconvenient reminder of their ex. They want to focus their attention and yes, their money, on their current family with the current woman. I have two men like that in my own extended family... my relative doesn't even know her father had a wife and son before he married her mother. So hard to stay out of it and not tell her she has a half brother.

Hunh, I have a couple of friends in this situation. Dad moved on, had a new family, they rarely heard from him. I thought it was unique; apparently not.

Again, so you assume the worst of everyone. What about when mom has an affair, leaves dad and takes the kids and despite court orders refuses to let Dad see the kids. Dad pays child support and extra's so you cannot claim its a money issue. What about when Dad's call and kids/mom doesn't answer the phone? What about when Dad goes to pick up the kids or buys plane tickets and Mom refuses to see them? It goes both ways.

It happens. Start a new thread. The topic of this one is "dads who don't pay child support."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Err, then Dad goes to court?

And, what do you think the courts do? They tell mom to pay what's owed but she never does as they refuse to take it out of child support. They say, send kid. Mom doesn't, you go back to court, repeat. Absolutely nothing happens but both parents pay a fortune in attorney fees. No point asking Mom to pay Dad's attorney fees when she will not pay her share of expenses that Dad put out. There are some great judges who hold both sides accountable and really look for the truth but those judges are rare and most take the easiest way out. This is why Dad's walk away. Only so many times you can go to court and while you get what you need ordered, it gets ignored and there are no consequences.

[Anonymous]

Mu sisiter got divorced in Nevada. The judges always seemed to favor the father in every situation .

Her child is now 18. As she said, she never, ever has to deal with him again. The daughter knows her dad is a deadbeat and talks to him about once a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mu sisiter got divorced in Nevada. The judges always seemed to favor the father in every situation .

Her child is now 18. As she said, she never, ever has to deal with him again. The daughter knows her dad is a deadbeat and talks to him about once a year.

How do they favor the father?

[Anonymous]

Will states at least divert the $500/child CARES payment when the NCP owes CS?