I slapped my teen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I am sorry that I lost my temper and hit you last night. I was wrong. I apologize.

I will still be keeping the phone for a week as a consequence of you not minding me when I told you to leave it downstairs. You will also be grounded this weekend for calling me a name which is completely unacceptable."

This. From the first few responses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think when you apologize though you also tell her that never in your life have you been called such an ugly name by someone you care for and it caught you so seriously off guard that your instinct was to lash out. She needs to know that her vicious comment was a spark that pushed you to do something extremely out of character. She needs to understand that provocation is serious and can push someone beyond their typical self control.

And oh yes - that phone is a goner for a good long time

+1

[Anonymous]

Op here, I have apologized for slapping her and told her that was not the correct response. She apologized for what she said as well. Her excuse was, that’s what her friends say to each other when they are really mad. We talked about that is not an appropriate response to anyone, an adult, a friend, and enemy or a stranger. She seemed remorseful about that but is VERY upset about losing her phone for the week. She thinks I’m being unreasonable and too strict.

Thanks for all the responses, I read each and everyone. My daughter is definitely still upset with me, but I don’t think our relationship has been damaged permanently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I have apologized for slapping her and told her that was not the correct response. She apologized for what she said as well. Her excuse was, that’s what her friends say to each other when they are really mad. We talked about that is not an appropriate response to anyone, an adult, a friend, and enemy or a stranger. She seemed remorseful about that but is VERY upset about losing her phone for the week. She thinks I’m being unreasonable and too strict.

Thanks for all the responses, I read each and everyone. My daughter is definitely still upset with me, but I don’t think our relationship has been damaged permanently.

You handled it well. The other option is to strip off all the apps and browser so she can have the phone to make calls for emergencies.

[Anonymous]

I would hang the phone from a string and smack the s out of that piñata with a bat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would hang the phone from a string and smack the s out of that piñata with a bat.

Or have it fall into tub or toilet. It takes one week to dry out in rice with desiccant packs.

[Anonymous]

She deserved it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I have apologized for slapping her and told her that was not the correct response. She apologized for what she said as well. Her excuse was, that’s what her friends say to each other when they are really mad. We talked about that is not an appropriate response to anyone, an adult, a friend, and enemy or a stranger. She seemed remorseful about that but is VERY upset about losing her phone for the week. She thinks I’m being unreasonable and too strict.

Thanks for all the responses, I read each and everyone. My daughter is definitely still upset with me, but I don’t think our relationship has been damaged permanently.

Good job, OP. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should apologize for the whole incident.

Your daughter couldn't sleep and watched videos on her cellphone. You way overreacted and you instigated some middle of the night showdown over cellphone use that was totally unnecessary.

She shouldn't have called you a bitch but you really assumed a great deal here -- that she was on the phone all night, that there was nothing bothering her or keeping her up. Do you always approach every situation guns blazing like this? Is the cell phone really the issue?

I agree. You could have at least asked her why she couldn’t sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I have apologized for slapping her and told her that was not the correct response. She apologized for what she said as well. Her excuse was, that’s what her friends say to each other when they are really mad. We talked about that is not an appropriate response to anyone, an adult, a friend, and enemy or a stranger. She seemed remorseful about that but is VERY upset about losing her phone for the week. She thinks I’m being unreasonable and too strict.

Thanks for all the responses, I read each and everyone. My daughter is definitely still upset with me, but I don’t think our relationship has been damaged permanently.

Good job, OP. Hang in there.

+1 Thanks for the update, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet she won't call you a bitch again.
Stick with the consequence of the lost phone for the week too.
I would not mention the slap unless she brings it up again.

This. What the heck is wrong with most of you? The current parenting generation has handed over control to the children. They know they can play off your guilt and win even more concessions. If any of us had called our mothers “bitch” when we were teens we would have been slapped into next Tuesday. Except that most of us did not because we had been punished when we mouthed off to our parents when we were younger.

Only apology needs to be from child to parent here.

Plus 1. No apology necessary from Mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I have apologized for slapping her and told her that was not the correct response. She apologized for what she said as well. Her excuse was, that’s what her friends say to each other when they are really mad. We talked about that is not an appropriate response to anyone, an adult, a friend, and enemy or a stranger. She seemed remorseful about that but is VERY upset about losing her phone for the week. She thinks I’m being unreasonable and too strict.

Thanks for all the responses, I read each and everyone. My daughter is definitely still upset with me, but I don’t think our relationship has been damaged permanently.

Good job, OP. Hang in there.

I'm glad it's going better OP. I had a truly toxic relationship with my mom-- there is a difference between a momentary loss of self control and a pattern. I think you will both move past this just fine.

[Anonymous]

Good job. Also my mom slapped me a couple times. It was nbd and we are very tight.

[Anonymous]

She needs to have the phone taken away for a bit.

Kids that break rules with the phone, don’t get the privilege of the phone.

Be a bitch. It’s called parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs to have the phone taken away for a bit.

Kids that break rules with the phone, don’t get the privilege of the phone.

Be a bitch. It’s called parenting.

In this case, OP was being a bitch.

Such a holy over-reaction to a small event.