Rejected by moms in a playgroup- feeling hurt

[Anonymous]

How the hell can someone have a "better baby?" That thought is just so absurd... Once I heard my hubs tell someone she was "clearly a brilliant child" with the greatest earnesty and sincerity, and I just had to chuckle. Is she brilliant? Well, I don't know--she's only two, but I do know why he said it: He adores her.

I gush on about my daughter. And you know what, please feel free to gush on about your wonderful, sweet child, too. Colicky or not. He or she is also probably a great kid.

Good lord, people. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How the hell can someone have a "better baby?" That thought is just so absurd... Once I heard my hubs tell someone she was "clearly a brilliant child" with the greatest earnesty and sincerity, and I just had to chuckle. Is she brilliant? Well, I don't know--she's only two, but I do know why he said it: He adores her.

I gush on about my daughter. And you know what, please feel free to gush on about your wonderful, sweet child, too. Colicky or not. He or she is also probably a great kid.

Good lord, people. Get a grip.

It's an expression. Lots of women use this to describe babies that are calm and easy. Relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18:03 Here- why are you all angry? Isn't it possible that some people don't click? And shouldn't OP know why we left her out??

Because you're a dumb c**t and the OP is much better off without you. Have fun at your bitchfest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18:03 Here- why are you all angry? Isn't it possible that some people don't click? And shouldn't OP know why we left her out??

Because you're a dumb c**t and the OP is much better off without you. Have fun at your bitchfest.

Wow. I'd hate to see what YOUR playgroup looks like...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18:03 Here- why are you all angry? Isn't it possible that some people don't click? And shouldn't OP know why we left her out??

Because you're a dumb c**t and the OP is much better off without you. Have fun at your bitchfest.

Wow. I'd hate to see what YOUR playgroup looks like...

Not PP, but I'd say probably a lot like the other one, only in 18:03's playgroup, they do the sideways hand over the mouth thing before whispering it when another mom's back is turned.

[Anonymous]

Where's OP? I wonder if she really is the person the PP thinks she is? She hasn't been back.

[Anonymous]

I just read this threat and wanted to just vent. When I had 4 miscarriages and no children (my life sucked as I had been through 8 IVFs and on more medication then I ever imagined), I had tons of friends. When "The Bad Luck" ended (8 years of it), I lost so many friends. I didn't change, but my life (like all lives) was in the "good luck" stage. It saddened me...I think some of my friends felt more of a connection when I had major problems. And believe me, some of my problems were pretty major (childless, lost a sister and brother and father in 4 years...).

Now I'm in the upturn and feel more lonely then ever... Man, I wish we as women could be there for each other. I hope I don't do this to others. I need to reflect and make sure I don't.

OP, I didn't have the same exact experience but something comparable. I think it's taken some of my spirit. Don't let this negativity do the same to you. I've shied away from making friends as I don't want to get close and then get hurt. But this isn't the right answer. Finding a good set of friends or friend is so precious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just read this threat and wanted to just vent. When I had 4 miscarriages and no children (my life sucked as I had been through 8 IVFs and on more medication then I ever imagined), I had tons of friends. When "The Bad Luck" ended (8 years of it), I lost so many friends. I didn't change, but my life (like all lives) was in the "good luck" stage. It saddened me...I think some of my friends felt more of a connection when I had major problems. And believe me, some of my problems were pretty major (childless, lost a sister and brother and father in 4 years...).

Now I'm in the upturn and feel more lonely then ever... Man, I wish we as women could be there for each other. I hope I don't do this to others. I need to reflect and make sure I don't.

OP, I didn't have the same exact experience but something comparable. I think it's taken some of my spirit. Don't let this negativity do the same to you. I've shied away from making friends as I don't want to get close and then get hurt. But this isn't the right answer. Finding a good set of friends or friend is so precious.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was in major drama with my DC's dad because he wanted me to have an abortion. We were fighting daily, I was crying non-stop, it was a drama-filled period of my life. Then we talked things through, ended up getting married and I lost ALL of my friends. All of them. They wouldn't return my calls, emails, texts, nothing. Now I'm separated and friendless. Feeling really crappy. (See http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/81636.page for my post), so I think I know what you mean. Even though I didn't have major problems like you, I also lost all my friends after the storm. I do still try to make friends, but as you will see from my post, I've been having no luck with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just read this threat and wanted to just vent. When I had 4 miscarriages and no children (my life sucked as I had been through 8 IVFs and on more medication then I ever imagined), I had tons of friends. When "The Bad Luck" ended (8 years of it), I lost so many friends. I didn't change, but my life (like all lives) was in the "good luck" stage. It saddened me...I think some of my friends felt more of a connection when I had major problems. And believe me, some of my problems were pretty major (childless, lost a sister and brother and father in 4 years...).

Now I'm in the upturn and feel more lonely then ever... Man, I wish we as women could be there for each other. I hope I don't do this to others. I need to reflect and make sure I don't.

OP, I didn't have the same exact experience but something comparable. I think it's taken some of my spirit. Don't let this negativity do the same to you. I've shied away from making friends as I don't want to get close and then get hurt. But this isn't the right answer. Finding a good set of friends or friend is so precious.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was in major drama with my DC's dad because he wanted me to have an abortion. We were fighting daily, I was crying non-stop, it was a drama-filled period of my life. Then we talked things through, ended up getting married and I lost ALL of my friends. All of them. They wouldn't return my calls, emails, texts, nothing. Now I'm separated and friendless. Feeling really crappy. (See http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/81636.page for my post), so I think I know what you mean. Even though I didn't have major problems like you, I also lost all my friends after the storm. I do still try to make friends, but as you will see from my post, I've been having no luck with it.

I know what you mean. I feel so burned and vulnerable that I find it hard to even try to connect with people... It's awful. I'd be so much happier if I had some great girlfriends. I would love to be Be There for someone the way others were there for me or just both be happy and laugh at the tabloids or talk about whatever.

[Anonymous]

OK confession here. Sometimes I'd make up something to complain about just to fit in... It's awful. But true. I"m not sure why I do that. But I think it's because of the above two posters' points.

[Anonymous]

I keep seeing people on here talking about being lonely, about maybe getting together in real life. Should we request a couple of "meetup" forums? Maybe start with MD, DC, VA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:18:03 Here- why are you all angry? Isn't it possible that some people don't click? And shouldn't OP know why we left her out??

Because you're a dumb c**t and the OP is much better off without you. Have fun at your bitchfest.

Wow. I'd hate to see what YOUR playgroup looks like...

13:57 here. Rejector Mommy would want to join my playgroup and I would have to reject her --very rudely.

Seriously -- that dumb woman couldn't reach out and find some common ground? She didn't like OP because she didn't have anything to bitch about? How miserable is she? How hard would it have been to be kind? She needs to get the stick out and look for the joy that surrounds her miserable little world.

[Anonymous]

It's simple, Misery loves company and your not miserable. First and most likely last post from a an eavesdropping husband. OP screw the new crew and find another one. At least you only have a little time invested with this group. I am sure there are all kinds of moms in Adams Morgan, it's D.C. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I think OP hasn't written back because she's embarrassed that that rejector-mommy confronted her here.

I feel so bad for OP. OP, put this all behind you and find a wonderful new group for yourself. Any woman who can't stand to be around other women because they have something 'better' is a miserable woman indeed. They can poision your life. Find happy people. They are out there, trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP hasn't written back because she's embarrassed that that rejector-mommy confronted her here.

I feel so bad for OP. OP, put this all behind you and find a wonderful new group for yourself. Any woman who can't stand to be around other women because they have something 'better' is a miserable woman indeed. They can poision your life. Find happy people. They are out there, trust me.

I think you're right, especially since she's lost her anonymity and will likely have to deal with these women when she's out in the n'hood. Let's hope at least one of them reached out to her privately to try to smooth things over. (I expect it wouldn't be 18:03, but high school cliques usually had one somewhat sympathetic girl who was just along because the others helped her feel popular.) It'll ease the tension at Walter Pierce/Kalorama Playground/ Harris Teeter/ Tryst, etc.