Does anyone on this forum think nursing homes are horrific?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People also forget that the current generation of 80 and 90 yos did not have the knowledge about nutrition and exercise that we have today. How many 90 yo women did strength training when they were younger? It wasn't a thing so of course, they;re now filling up nursing homes.

It makes me laugh that you think you can control the future by exercising and eating healthy.

You cannot control the future but you can very definitely improve the likelihood of a healthy, active future.

What is truly laughable -- the idea that just because some people who diet and exercise get struck down by disease anyway, that there is no point in dieting or exercising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And are so sad that everyone is saving up for them?

IDK who you're talking to. My parents are saving up for the ability to stay in their home and *not* go to a nursing home. Same for me.

Very little nursing home care is paid for out of personal funds in this country; most people spend down any assets they had and get nursing care via Medicaid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not every old person ends up with Alzheimers.

True. Many do. What’s your experience with caring at home for a person with Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?

None, my grandmother had dementia although we don't know what kind it was. But she birthed seven children, lived through a war, had schizophrenia and didn't take care of herself or her kids so it's no wonder she ended up badly in old age.

So you have no personal experience with how difficult being a caregiver is?

My grandmother lived with us until I was about ten years old. My aunt took care of her and her older also-schizophrenic brother. It was a horrible situation, and I saw for myself how unfair it was for my aunt because none of the other children helped AT ALL. And the resentment it bred in my aunt...to this day, I don't have any good memories of home life. It's sad but it is what it is. I wasn't able to control my environment as a child but I am able to make my own choices about myself and how I want to lead my life. I am honestly more worried about dying in a freak accident than degenerating in old age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Majority of Americans are not this fit today in their childhood, youth, middle age like the woman below. So to expect people to get this fit to avoid nursing home or being incapacitated is nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:

So? There are several people who are elderly but are mobile and lucid.

That's exactly my point. Becoming frail and incontinent is entirely preventable. But majority of Americans, even when they're capable, eat too much rubbish and don't take care of themselves. So of course they end up becoming like the elderly parents DCUMers hate on DCUM.

Well, everyone dies and they are usually in pretty tough shape when that happens due to disease, wear and tear on the body and just plain being old. The above woman is in fabulous shape and she probably will continue to be healthy for many years to come. But there is also the possibility that she could be stricken by disease because nobody lives forever, our bodies do wear out no matter how fit we are. If life were fair Jhoon Rhee would still be with us.

[Anonymous]

^She's 82 now (turning 83 in June) and apparently still going strong.

[Anonymous]

I think most people can care for an able bodied elderly person at home. But an able bodied elderly person can easily care for themselves in a floor (with a ground floor master and bathroom grab bars, etc).

It’s when dementia or the person is physically handicapped that it becomes an issue. My grandma lives with my aunt. Grandma (who is not obese) fell down and no one could get her up just this week. My aunt is strong but not strong enough. It took two strong male neighbors.

I can’t imagine caring for my parents (60) while I still have infants in the home. I’m stretched so thin physically and mentally. I truly feel for people who are in this situation. My house also has no ground baths (just a powder room).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Majority of Americans are not this fit today in their childhood, youth, middle age like the woman below. So to expect people to get this fit to avoid nursing home or being incapacitated is nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:

So? There are several people who are elderly but are mobile and lucid.

That's exactly my point. Becoming frail and incontinent is entirely preventable. But majority of Americans, even when they're capable, eat too much rubbish and don't take care of themselves. So of course they end up becoming like the elderly parents DCUMers hate on DCUM.

Well, everyone dies and they are usually in pretty tough shape when that happens due to disease, wear and tear on the body and just plain being old. The above woman is in fabulous shape and she probably will continue to be healthy for many years to come. But there is also the possibility that she could be stricken by disease because nobody lives forever, our bodies do wear out no matter how fit we are. If life were fair Jhoon Rhee would still be with us.

Yes, no one is talking about living forever. But physically fit people tend to go quickly when they do go. This has been documented. The ones who weren't in great shape in midlife are the ones who probably fall down and end up bedridden for two years. Which sucks for the caregiver. It's called compression of morbidity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Majority of Americans are not this fit today in their childhood, youth, middle age like the woman below. So to expect people to get this fit to avoid nursing home or being incapacitated is nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:

So? There are several people who are elderly but are mobile and lucid.

That's exactly my point. Becoming frail and incontinent is entirely preventable. But majority of Americans, even when they're capable, eat too much rubbish and don't take care of themselves. So of course they end up becoming like the elderly parents DCUMers hate on DCUM.

Well, everyone dies and they are usually in pretty tough shape when that happens due to disease, wear and tear on the body and just plain being old. The above woman is in fabulous shape and she probably will continue to be healthy for many years to come. But there is also the possibility that she could be stricken by disease because nobody lives forever, our bodies do wear out no matter how fit we are. If life were fair Jhoon Rhee would still be with us.

Yes, no one is talking about living forever. But physically fit people tend to go quickly when they do go. This has been documented. The ones who weren't in great shape in midlife are the ones who probably fall down and end up bedridden for two years. Which sucks for the caregiver. It's called compression of morbidity.

I think that the theory is that you delay the onset of disease/incapacitation by staying physically fit. A person who in poor shape in midlife will have an earlier onset of disease, as well as, a longer progression and duration of the disease into death. A fit person who delays the onset of diabetes for instance will have a shorter duration of illness than a person who develops diabetes early on and suffers with it for decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Majority of Americans are not this fit today in their childhood, youth, middle age like the woman below. So to expect people to get this fit to avoid nursing home or being incapacitated is nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:

So? There are several people who are elderly but are mobile and lucid.

That's exactly my point. Becoming frail and incontinent is entirely preventable. But majority of Americans, even when they're capable, eat too much rubbish and don't take care of themselves. So of course they end up becoming like the elderly parents DCUMers hate on DCUM.

Well, everyone dies and they are usually in pretty tough shape when that happens due to disease, wear and tear on the body and just plain being old. The above woman is in fabulous shape and she probably will continue to be healthy for many years to come. But there is also the possibility that she could be stricken by disease because nobody lives forever, our bodies do wear out no matter how fit we are. If life were fair Jhoon Rhee would still be with us.

Yes, no one is talking about living forever. But physically fit people tend to go quickly when they do go. This has been documented. The ones who weren't in great shape in midlife are the ones who probably fall down and end up bedridden for two years. Which sucks for the caregiver. It's called compression of morbidity.

I think that the theory is that you delay the onset of disease/incapacitation by staying physically fit. A person who in poor shape in midlife will have an earlier onset of disease, as well as, a longer progression and duration of the disease into death. A fit person who delays the onset of diabetes for instance will have a shorter duration of illness than a person who develops diabetes early on and suffers with it for decades.

Exactly. DCUMers lament taking care of aging parents but it's more likely that these same parents were besieged by health problems in midlife. If anything, with the high prevalence of lifestyle diseases in the US, it's no wonder that these parents end up burdening their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Exactly. DCUMers lament taking care of aging parents but it's more likely that these same parents were besieged by health problems in midlife. If anything, with the high prevalence of lifestyle diseases in the US, it's no wonder that these parents end up burdening their children.

Bless you and your magical thinking. My dad was fit and independent until his mid-80s, when he needed a hip replacement. He recovered well from that and had another 5-10 good years, when he was diagnosed with Parkinson's, which manifested itself mostly in cognitive rather than physical problems.

The bright side in all of this was his continuing care facility, where he could get PT after his hip replacement and could receiving gradually increasing levels of care surrounded by friends and professionals who knew him well.

He knew from watching his parents and my mother's parents that a decline is likely coming, and you need to figure out your best case and worst case scenarios. He and my mom wanted to live in a well-run place that they had chosen, with stuff from their beloved house that they had chosen, while they were well enough to have independent housing and make friends.

If you want to shoot for you and your neighbors all living in glowing good health until you're 85, then dying in your sleep in your perfectly maintained houses, good luck. But then you have to accept whatever else might happen instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Exactly. DCUMers lament taking care of aging parents but it's more likely that these same parents were besieged by health problems in midlife. If anything, with the high prevalence of lifestyle diseases in the US, it's no wonder that these parents end up burdening their children.

Bless you and your magical thinking. My dad was fit and independent until his mid-80s, when he needed a hip replacement. He recovered well from that and had another 5-10 good years, when he was diagnosed with Parkinson's, which manifested itself mostly in cognitive rather than physical problems.

The bright side in all of this was his continuing care facility, where he could get PT after his hip replacement and could receiving gradually increasing levels of care surrounded by friends and professionals who knew him well.

He knew from watching his parents and my mother's parents that a decline is likely coming, and you need to figure out your best case and worst case scenarios. He and my mom wanted to live in a well-run place that they had chosen, with stuff from their beloved house that they had chosen, while they were well enough to have independent housing and make friends.

If you want to shoot for you and your neighbors all living in glowing good health until you're 85, then dying in your sleep in your perfectly maintained houses, good luck. But then you have to accept whatever else might happen instead.

It's really common in East Asia to see 90yos doing tai chi and walking around. It's just that in America where everyone gets sick and immobile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Exactly. DCUMers lament taking care of aging parents but it's more likely that these same parents were besieged by health problems in midlife. If anything, with the high prevalence of lifestyle diseases in the US, it's no wonder that these parents end up burdening their children.

Bless you and your magical thinking. My dad was fit and independent until his mid-80s, when he needed a hip replacement. He recovered well from that and had another 5-10 good years, when he was diagnosed with Parkinson's, which manifested itself mostly in cognitive rather than physical problems.

The bright side in all of this was his continuing care facility, where he could get PT after his hip replacement and could receiving gradually increasing levels of care surrounded by friends and professionals who knew him well.

He knew from watching his parents and my mother's parents that a decline is likely coming, and you need to figure out your best case and worst case scenarios. He and my mom wanted to live in a well-run place that they had chosen, with stuff from their beloved house that they had chosen, while they were well enough to have independent housing and make friends.

If you want to shoot for you and your neighbors all living in glowing good health until you're 85, then dying in your sleep in your perfectly maintained houses, good luck. But then you have to accept whatever else might happen instead.

It's really common in East Asia to see 90yos doing tai chi and walking around. It's just that in America where everyone gets sick and immobile.

Untrue. East Asia has an elder care crisis right now. A rapidly aging population, including many that are immobile and need round the clock care.

[Anonymous]

They are awful. I would rather die than ever live in one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Exactly. DCUMers lament taking care of aging parents but it's more likely that these same parents were besieged by health problems in midlife. If anything, with the high prevalence of lifestyle diseases in the US, it's no wonder that these parents end up burdening their children.

Bless you and your magical thinking. My dad was fit and independent until his mid-80s, when he needed a hip replacement. He recovered well from that and had another 5-10 good years, when he was diagnosed with Parkinson's, which manifested itself mostly in cognitive rather than physical problems.

The bright side in all of this was his continuing care facility, where he could get PT after his hip replacement and could receiving gradually increasing levels of care surrounded by friends and professionals who knew him well.

He knew from watching his parents and my mother's parents that a decline is likely coming, and you need to figure out your best case and worst case scenarios. He and my mom wanted to live in a well-run place that they had chosen, with stuff from their beloved house that they had chosen, while they were well enough to have independent housing and make friends.

If you want to shoot for you and your neighbors all living in glowing good health until you're 85, then dying in your sleep in your perfectly maintained houses, good luck. But then you have to accept whatever else might happen instead.

It's really common in East Asia to see 90yos doing tai chi and walking around. It's just that in America where everyone gets sick and immobile.

Untrue. East Asia has an elder care crisis right now. A rapidly aging population, including many that are immobile and need round the clock care.

There are more immobile people as part of the population in the US

[Anonymous]

Make sure you are talking about a nursing home and not an assisted living or independent living center. They are not what you think, and they have changed lives for the better by maximizing the social and physical interaction of elderly people who can largely take care of themselves. They can be wonderful environments. They are not nursing homes- at all.

If someone needs a nursing home, it means that they are unable to take care of themselves at all and require round the clock monitoring or nursing care. And yes, for some, that will be necessary, to the tune of 10 to 15k a month.What is the issue here?