Surviving R. Kelly

[Anonymous]

To the parent trying to insulate her daughter from the harm in this world, I wish you much love and lots of luck and support. I hope we white people can recognize that there is a structure in this country. A structure of discrimination and favor and as white people, we were given a brick to add to the structure (by virtue of being favored...my family could get home loans and build some wealth, schools were nurturing - I literally have a story of the great divide of child treatment in white schools versus majority black schools.. in 3rd gradeI fall asleep at story time and the teacher instructs the class to be quiet and let me sleep, my black friend in 3rd grade dozes at her desk and the teacher wraps her knuckles 5 times, very traumatizing for my studious, eager-to-please wonderful and kind friend, anyway, that is another story) but, as white people we get a brick to lay , and we get to choose what to do with that brick... add to the division and disparity or use the brick to tear that down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“ Black people are only taking him to task now because we do not want to look bad in the eyes from white people.” I disagree, black women have been #muterkelly for a long time. I do truly wonder though... are you black?

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story has been going on for years but the music industry still embraces him. Didn't he do a duet with Lady Gaga? Plenty of people, blacks and whites, buy his music and attend his concerts. If he had done this to young white girls he'd be in jail. why haven't people like Oprah taken him to task?

How telling that you think “people like Oprah”—black people—should take him to task when you admit all races support his music. Has it occurred to you that white people, too, have a responsibility to these black girls and have failed miserably? The only people who have spoken out are black people, even though whites run his record company, own Spotify and Apple and other platforms, and control distribution. The real question is why white people are so heartless and racist that you feel no responsibility here.

In the thread about the preacher inappropriately touching Ariana Grande at Aretha Franklin’s funeral and cracking the Taco Bell joke, it was stated a number of times that white people needed to stay out of it because it was being ‘handled’ by the black community.

But now that people are wondering how R Kelly was able to get away with his behavior for so long (as if his entourage that aided him were not black just all white people around him all the time) the tune is how come white people aren’t more involved.

Which is it? If’s non black person calls out a black man on inappropriate behavior, they are racist. If a non black person doesn’t call out a black man’s behavior, they are racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story has been going on for years but the music industry still embraces him. Didn't he do a duet with Lady Gaga? Plenty of people, blacks and whites, buy his music and attend his concerts. If he had done this to young white girls he'd be in jail. why haven't people like Oprah taken him to task?

How telling that you think “people like Oprah”—black people—should take him to task when you admit all races support his music. Has it occurred to you that white people, too, have a responsibility to these black girls and have failed miserably? The only people who have spoken out are black people, even though whites run his record company, own Spotify and Apple and other platforms, and control distribution. The real question is why white people are so heartless and racist that you feel no responsibility here.

I agree with the PP. Black people are only taking him to task now because we do not want to look bad in the eyes from white people. However, sexual assaulting girls and rampant misogyny are embraced in the black community. Black men in general have profited off of abusing our women and girls for years. When folks came out years ago about the denigration of black women and girls from black men specifically those within the music industry folks cried racism. I was told on this very forum a few years ago, "Well it is our culture and it is art." As a crisis counselor who has spent years working with black families I have heard far too many times, "We do not want to see another brother going to jail." This is not just about the POS R. Kelly is about the culture at large which refuses to protect black girls from predators especially when those predators are black men. You know how many black women have been sexually assaulted as girls by men in their family, community, or in church? I have lost count. The black community looks the other way and blames the victim of abuse. When it comes time to prosecute these men who assault children people rally around the predators and give them protection. Often times in the black community when our girls are assaulted she is the one who is ostracized. It is disheartening black women and girls do not have a voice. The abuse within the black community especially our girls and even our boys are not giving justice because our society has embrace black men being sexually violent.

Now black folks want to act like we care about our girls. It's BS! Those of us who have been on the frontlines fighting these monsters for years were ignored. If anything, it took going outside of the black community for some of us advocates to get justice. We need to seriously stop protecting black men who prey on women and girls. We need to stop excusing their degenerate behavior and blaming racism for the reason why they behave the way that they do. Other so call "good black men" need to call other black men to task and speak out for their daughters, sisters, and mothers. It is beyond despicable how years of covering up sexual abuse within the black community has damaged so many black women who were abused as children. Folks only care now because it is a celebrity that many people worshipped, but this tragedy goes further than just R. Kelly. We can no longer continue pointing the finger at white people. There are many R. Kellys within our communities, churches, and in some cases families. The real question is, "Are black people going to step up and work with law enforcement to turn in the sexual predators that they know? Are black people going to continue financially supporting black people (entertainers, those within the church, etc.) who are abusers? Are other black men going to call out child predators who harassed children? Or are they going blame the victim? Protecting child predators has gone for years within the black community this is not new. Families don't even report abuses in many cases and many black girls suffer in silence. Turn these monsters in and denounce them from our community. Who cares if they go to jail. So many people knew about R. Kelly, but they turned a blind eye.

Anyone who coverup the abuse of children or anyone for that matter should be prosecuted and held accountable for protecting predators. When this R. Kelly saga is over the black community will go back to living in denial by blaming white people for these uncivilized creatures like R Kelly and their inhumane behavior. It's so sickening that we refuse to protect our children especially our girls!

Thank you. This post is brutally honest.

With all due respect to this passionate poster, sexual assault knows no race or class. The idea that the black community should be held more accountable than any other group reinforces dangerous and unfortunate stereotypes. As Michelle Obama said during her book tour, “I was raised around strong, loving black grandfathers, fathers, uncles and brothers who loved and protected me”. This was on the south side of Chicago and her family wasn’t rich. There are countless examples of strong, black families and men, no need to paint any group with a broad stroke. There are sexual predators lurking in schools, churches, Hollywood etc. The more we educate young people and parents about what that looks like the better. Tired tropes about the black community hinder those conversations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story has been going on for years but the music industry still embraces him. Didn't he do a duet with Lady Gaga? Plenty of people, blacks and whites, buy his music and attend his concerts. If he had done this to young white girls he'd be in jail. why haven't people like Oprah taken him to task?

How telling that you think “people like Oprah”—black people—should take him to task when you admit all races support his music. Has it occurred to you that white people, too, have a responsibility to these black girls and have failed miserably? The only people who have spoken out are black people, even though whites run his record company, own Spotify and Apple and other platforms, and control distribution. The real question is why white people are so heartless and racist that you feel no responsibility here.

I agree with the PP. Black people are only taking him to task now because we do not want to look bad in the eyes from white people. However, sexual assaulting girls and rampant misogyny are embraced in the black community. Black men in general have profited off of abusing our women and girls for years. When folks came out years ago about the denigration of black women and girls from black men specifically those within the music industry folks cried racism. I was told on this very forum a few years ago, "Well it is our culture and it is art." As a crisis counselor who has spent years working with black families I have heard far too many times, "We do not want to see another brother going to jail." This is not just about the POS R. Kelly is about the culture at large which refuses to protect black girls from predators especially when those predators are black men. You know how many black women have been sexually assaulted as girls by men in their family, community, or in church? I have lost count. The black community looks the other way and blames the victim of abuse. When it comes time to prosecute these men who assault children people rally around the predators and give them protection. Often times in the black community when our girls are assaulted she is the one who is ostracized. It is disheartening black women and girls do not have a voice. The abuse within the black community especially our girls and even our boys are not giving justice because our society has embrace black men being sexually violent.

Now black folks want to act like we care about our girls. It's BS! Those of us who have been on the frontlines fighting these monsters for years were ignored. If anything, it took going outside of the black community for some of us advocates to get justice. We need to seriously stop protecting black men who prey on women and girls. We need to stop excusing their degenerate behavior and blaming racism for the reason why they behave the way that they do. Other so call "good black men" need to call other black men to task and speak out for their daughters, sisters, and mothers. It is beyond despicable how years of covering up sexual abuse within the black community has damaged so many black women who were abused as children. Folks only care now because it is a celebrity that many people worshipped, but this tragedy goes further than just R. Kelly. We can no longer continue pointing the finger at white people. There are many R. Kellys within our communities, churches, and in some cases families. The real question is, "Are black people going to step up and work with law enforcement to turn in the sexual predators that they know? Are black people going to continue financially supporting black people (entertainers, those within the church, etc.) who are abusers? Are other black men going to call out child predators who harassed children? Or are they going blame the victim? Protecting child predators has gone for years within the black community this is not new. Families don't even report abuses in many cases and many black girls suffer in silence. Turn these monsters in and denounce them from our community. Who cares if they go to jail. So many people knew about R. Kelly, but they turned a blind eye.

Anyone who coverup the abuse of children or anyone for that matter should be prosecuted and held accountable for protecting predators. When this R. Kelly saga is over the black community will go back to living in denial by blaming white people for these uncivilized creatures like R Kelly and their inhumane behavior. It's so sickening that we refuse to protect our children especially our girls!

Thank you. This post is brutally honest.

This post was dumb. As a black woman, I have not even thought about white people in this calculation. I don’t care anything about white people. I have probably spoken to 50 people about the documentary and not a single one of them cares about what white people think. We are either in shock or blaming ourselves for not taking the situation more seriously. As black people, we are always in the forgiving mood. That’s why I think church is ridiculous. The pastor can have 10 affairs and 14 children out of wedlock and we will still sit there and support him and say Jesus forgives him. This is not about white people, this is about us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the parent trying to insulate her daughter from the harm in this world, I wish you much love and lots of luck and support. I hope we white people can recognize that there is a structure in this country. A structure of discrimination and favor and as white people, we were given a brick to add to the structure (by virtue of being favored...my family could get home loans and build some wealth, schools were nurturing - I literally have a story of the great divide of child treatment in white schools versus majority black schools.. in 3rd gradeI fall asleep at story time and the teacher instructs the class to be quiet and let me sleep, my black friend in 3rd grade dozes at her desk and the teacher wraps her knuckles 5 times, very traumatizing for my studious, eager-to-please wonderful and kind friend, anyway, that is another story) but, as white people we get a brick to lay , and we get to choose what to do with that brick... add to the division and disparity or use the brick to tear that down?

omg

such needless drama!

The idiot is soon to get his anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the parent trying to insulate her daughter from the harm in this world, I wish you much love and lots of luck and support. I hope we white people can recognize that there is a structure in this country. A structure of discrimination and favor and as white people, we were given a brick to add to the structure (by virtue of being favored...my family could get home loans and build some wealth, schools were nurturing - I literally have a story of the great divide of child treatment in white schools versus majority black schools.. in 3rd gradeI fall asleep at story time and the teacher instructs the class to be quiet and let me sleep, my black friend in 3rd grade dozes at her desk and the teacher wraps her knuckles 5 times, very traumatizing for my studious, eager-to-please wonderful and kind friend, anyway, that is another story) but, as white people we get a brick to lay , and we get to choose what to do with that brick... add to the division and disparity or use the brick to tear that down?

I'm that PP with the 7yo. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Lady Gaga apologized for doing a collaboration with him, and pulled their song from streaming services. She said, ""I stand behind these women 1000 percent, believe them, know they are suffering and in pain, and feel strongly that their voices should be heard and taken seriously," Gaga said. "What I am hearing about the allegations against R. Kelly is absolutely horrifying and indefensible."

https://people.com/music/lady-gaga-breaks-silence-working-with-r-kelly-sexual-assault/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ Black people are only taking him to task now because we do not want to look bad in the eyes from white people.” I disagree, black women have been #muterkelly for a long time. I do truly wonder though... are you black?

You took the words right out of my mouth.

+1000. A white person wrote that post and the only people fooled are other white people. Black people, especially black women, have been pushing to hold R. Kelly responsible for years. As a previous post mentioned, white A&R people are behind R. Kelly and always have been because he is perceived as a hitmaker. Not one of the record companies that have long backed him are black owned or black run. And not one of the platforms still streaming and selling his music are black owned or black run. As long as white people do not care about black children while making a buck off a pedophile’s songs, R. Kelly will remain powerful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story has been going on for years but the music industry still embraces him. Didn't he do a duet with Lady Gaga? Plenty of people, blacks and whites, buy his music and attend his concerts. If he had done this to young white girls he'd be in jail. why haven't people like Oprah taken him to task?

How telling that you think “people like Oprah”—black people—should take him to task when you admit all races support his music. Has it occurred to you that white people, too, have a responsibility to these black girls and have failed miserably? The only people who have spoken out are black people, even though whites run his record company, own Spotify and Apple and other platforms, and control distribution. The real question is why white people are so heartless and racist that you feel no responsibility here.

In the thread about the preacher inappropriately touching Ariana Grande at Aretha Franklin’s funeral and cracking the Taco Bell joke, it was stated a number of times that white people needed to stay out of it because it was being ‘handled’ by the black community.

But now that people are wondering how R Kelly was able to get away with his behavior for so long (as if his entourage that aided him were not black just all white people around him all the time) the tune is how come white people aren’t more involved.

Which is it? If’s non black person calls out a black man on inappropriate behavior, they are racist. If a non black person doesn’t call out a black man’s behavior, they are racist.

Why do white people always think this childish, unintelligent “damned if you do/don’t” whine is such a clever response? PP pointed out specific ways in which white people have helped prop up and enrich R Kelly, and your response is that a preacher at Aretha’s funeral blah blah blah. Stay on topic and stop dodging valid points.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This story has been going on for years but the music industry still embraces him. Didn't he do a duet with Lady Gaga? Plenty of people, blacks and whites, buy his music and attend his concerts. If he had done this to young white girls he'd be in jail. why haven't people like Oprah taken him to task?

How telling that you think “people like Oprah”—black people—should take him to task when you admit all races support his music. Has it occurred to you that white people, too, have a responsibility to these black girls and have failed miserably? The only people who have spoken out are black people, even though whites run his record company, own Spotify and Apple and other platforms, and control distribution. The real question is why white people are so heartless and racist that you feel no responsibility here.

In the thread about the preacher inappropriately touching Ariana Grande at Aretha Franklin’s funeral and cracking the Taco Bell joke, it was stated a number of times that white people needed to stay out of it because it was being ‘handled’ by the black community.

But now that people are wondering how R Kelly was able to get away with his behavior for so long (as if his entourage that aided him were not black just all white people around him all the time) the tune is how come white people aren’t more involved.

Which is it? If’s non black person calls out a black man on inappropriate behavior, they are racist. If a non black person doesn’t call out a black man’s behavior, they are racist.

Why do white people always think this childish, unintelligent “damned if you do/don’t” whine is such a clever response? PP pointed out specific ways in which white people have helped prop up and enrich R Kelly, and your response is that a preacher at Aretha’s funeral blah blah blah. Stay on topic and stop dodging valid points.

So the people on his bus tour bus that witnessed him have sex with young girls, including a 14 year old Aaliyah, but looked the other way were all white? The bodyguards that would give his phone number to the young girls R Kelly chose at malls were all white? Aaliyah’s uncle, who was pretty well off and knew about R Kelly’s reputation and introduced his niece to the child rapist anyway, was white? The church choirs that continued to sing “ I believe”, we’re all white churches?

You’re name calling and lack of real conversation skills simply emphasizes that you are turning this into a hands over your ears blame game. No one takes that seriously.

To those interested, the link to the thread mentioned in the prior post. A real conversation could be had.
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/749404.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lady Gaga apologized for doing a collaboration with him, and pulled their song from streaming services. She said, ""I stand behind these women 1000 percent, believe them, know they are suffering and in pain, and feel strongly that their voices should be heard and taken seriously," Gaga said. "What I am hearing about the allegations against R. Kelly is absolutely horrifying and indefensible."

https://people.com/music/lady-gaga-breaks-silence-working-with-r-kelly-sexual-assault/

Someone doesn’t want this to ruin her Oscar campaign....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black children are not viewed as innocent. As a society we must change this.
We also need to stand by black women and create momentum of protecting black girls.

x10000

How do we start to do this? I ask as a black woman—how do we change the station of black women in our society?
We have a 7yo. A lot of our educational and enrichment choices have been made with a goal of insulating and preparing her for a lot of societal dangers. I know we can’t shelter her completely, though.

I don’t have a good answer for this. As a society in the US, Black women are viewed as objects. For starters there needs to be a mass rebellion by famous people to stop the way black women are portrayed in the music industry. I know there have been fits and starts over time, but it’s 2019, get serious. And why did people like JayZ, Gaga, Celine, and Dave Chappell refuse to participate in this story when they’ve already been publicly critical of Kelly? Why was it just John Legend and Charlagnme that we’re strong enough to do it?

[b]There are non- profits supporting women around the world to build their own businesses as its demonstrated that if women are supported, the village/family overall does better. Where is that same approach here? Many of these are US based non-profits.

And where we can show strong successful black women as role models, why aren’t we? I know Alyssa Milano was assaulted and that she is the one that revved up the #metoo movement on Twitter. But what about the women that started #muterkelly, in a documentary about him, and how black women are treated, why weren’t those women doing the PSA instead of Alyssa?

These organizations exist in the U.S. too. Are you contributing to any of them?

https://www.womenlikeusfoundation.org/the-latest/2018/2/7/5-black-women-led-nonprofits-making-history
https://medium.com/@courtwrites/10-black-women-led-organizations-that-deserve-your-end-of-year-donations-112fc1a45bb9
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/nbcblk/7-nonprofits-dedicated-empowering-young-brown-girls-n742776
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/28-organizations-that-are-empowering-black-communities_us_58a730fde4b045cd34c13d9a
https://binoandfino.com/blog/2015/9/17/a-list-of-clubs-organisations-that-empower-black-girls
http://www.uniquelyyousummit.org

...and that was just s 10-second Google search.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ Black people are only taking him to task now because we do not want to look bad in the eyes from white people.” I disagree, black women have been #muterkelly for a long time. I do truly wonder though... are you black?

You took the words right out of my mouth.

+1000. A white person wrote that post and the only people fooled are other white people. Black people, especially black women, have been pushing to hold R. Kelly responsible for years. As a previous post mentioned, white A&R people are behind R. Kelly and always have been because he is perceived as a hitmaker. Not one of the record companies that have long backed him are black owned or black run. And not one of the platforms still streaming and selling his music are black owned or black run. As long as white people do not care about black children while making a buck off a pedophile’s songs, R. Kelly will remain powerful.

Right. However, there is still an overwhelming amount of black women (and men) who are defending him. The mentality needs to change within the community, first. His assistant, his manager, the people closest to him were not white. Those are the people who had the opportunity to stop him and shed light on this problem, decades ago.

[Anonymous]

His idiot lawyer is doing interviews.

interviewer - Does R. Kelly deny being in relationships with underage girls.
lawyer - no
interviewer - Was he married to Aaliyah when she was 15
lawyer - yes




On the radio they were saying there are rumors he's going to expose the "liars" on some website he is planning to create. I also heard he is planning to leave the country and go to Africa. And the parents who haven't spoken to their daughter in 3 years are worried that if they go to Africa they will lose all hope of ever seeing their daughter again.

Oh and the other night he was spotted at a Chicago night club celebrating his bday.