Best Guy Friend, His New GF, and Vacation - Help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don’t know. This was kind of a lose lose situation. You got what you wanted, but to what end? Now GF is unhappy with her BF, and BF didn’t get to bring his GF so he’s probably annoyed too. It’s just a bad start to their relationship and I feel like it’ll always be seen as your fault.

Who cares? She’s not responsible for the success of their relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don’t know. This was kind of a lose lose situation. You got what you wanted, but to what end? Now GF is unhappy with her BF, and BF didn’t get to bring his GF so he’s probably annoyed too. It’s just a bad start to their relationship and I feel like it’ll always be seen as your fault.

Nah, I think OP's friend got his priority straight. Personally, I think his relationship with that girl won't last because of her jealousy. They've just started dating, and she already wants him to give up his existing friendship. At least he has a spine to say no to her. Good for him.

You live on another planet if you think most anyone would be fine with their new boyfriend/girlfriend jetting off on a vacation with an opposite sex friend. Get a clue. It may be jealousy but it’s appropriate and normal.

I don't think I would feel 100% comfortable and at ease with it, but I also wouldn't ask someone I had just started dating to blow up a vacation planned long before I showed up, that's just wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again! Just talked to my guy friend. Yesterday I had sent him a text telling him I needed some time to think about this because it was feeling a but like a lose-lose situation for me. He came in to my office this morning, stopped me from saying anything about it and said he thought about it a lot after I sent that text and that he was fully rescinding his ask for her to come. He realized it would make me uncomfortable and didn't want to do that since we planned this before I knew about the girl. And that he promises he is still very excited and that we are going to have a great time. So it looks like problem solved for now.

Apparently GF is not happy about it, but they've talked about it a lot and he promises they will be fine about it. It sounds like the trip can go on as planned, guy friend and I can have a good time on our last hurrah. I'm glad he did what I thought was the right thing and didn't make me be the bad guy here.

Now that you got what you wanted can you tell us if you are male or female?

Are you serious? It’s been made clear several times that OP is female.

Why wouldn't I be serious? Where does she say I'm a woman?

[Anonymous]

If OP wanted to sleep with her friend (or vice versa) they've had 4 years and 3 other trips to do it. And they can still have sex if they want to, given new gf is long distance. and finally, if for some totally unexpected reason friend and OP fell in love on this trip, then it meant new girlfriend wasn't "the one" either. New girlfriend just showed herself as controlling and unreasonable. But guy friend also showed himself as a conflict avoider--he avoided telling OP about this new relationship for a long time and probably suspected there would be an issue with the trip.

Honestly , OP I Hope you guys can still have fun on the trip. I'd still be on the fence and ask friend if he'd buy out what you can't get back and plan it for another time. or find a different friend. But if you're going to go, I hope you have fun.

You do know, of course, that it will be weird meeting the GF, and your relationship will change after that--unless she dumps him or he dumps her, my money's on her cutting you out of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe the Guy friend want to be more than a friend and he created the whole GF story to make her jealous. He wants MORE!!!

[Anonymous]

well, it sure will be awkward when you meet her!

[Anonymous]

I also don’t buy that they’ve never hooked up before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again! Just talked to my guy friend. Yesterday I had sent him a text telling him I needed some time to think about this because it was feeling a but like a lose-lose situation for me. He came in to my office this morning, stopped me from saying anything about it and said he thought about it a lot after I sent that text and that he was fully rescinding his ask for her to come. He realized it would make me uncomfortable and didn't want to do that since we planned this before I knew about the girl. And that he promises he is still very excited and that we are going to have a great time. So it looks like problem solved for now.

Apparently GF is not happy about it, but they've talked about it a lot and he promises they will be fine about it. It sounds like the trip can go on as planned, guy friend and I can have a good time on our last hurrah. I'm glad he did what I thought was the right thing and didn't make me be the bad guy here.

Now that you got what you wanted can you tell us if you are male or female?

Are you serious? It’s been made clear several times that OP is female.

Why wouldn't I be serious? Where does she say I'm a woman?

Have you EVER heard a man refer to his friend as "my guy friend?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don’t know. This was kind of a lose lose situation. You got what you wanted, but to what end? Now GF is unhappy with her BF, and BF didn’t get to bring his GF so he’s probably annoyed too. It’s just a bad start to their relationship and I feel like it’ll always be seen as your fault.

Nah, I think OP's friend got his priority straight. Personally, I think his relationship with that girl won't last because of her jealousy. They've just started dating, and she already wants him to give up his existing friendship. At least he has a spine to say no to her. Good for him.

You live on another planet if you think most anyone would be fine with their new boyfriend/girlfriend jetting off on a vacation with an opposite sex friend. Get a clue. It may be jealousy but it’s appropriate and normal.

+1. If I were dating a guy who did this, I'd probably end the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don’t know. This was kind of a lose lose situation. You got what you wanted, but to what end? Now GF is unhappy with her BF, and BF didn’t get to bring his GF so he’s probably annoyed too. It’s just a bad start to their relationship and I feel like it’ll always be seen as your fault.

Nah, I think OP's friend got his priority straight. Personally, I think his relationship with that girl won't last because of her jealousy. They've just started dating, and she already wants him to give up his existing friendship. At least he has a spine to say no to her. Good for him.

You live on another planet if you think most anyone would be fine with their new boyfriend/girlfriend jetting off on a vacation with an opposite sex friend. Get a clue. It may be jealousy but it’s appropriate and normal.

+1. If I were dating a guy who did this, I'd probably end the relationship.

Well, they’ve only been dating a few weeks so it’s hardly some huge loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don’t know. This was kind of a lose lose situation. You got what you wanted, but to what end? Now GF is unhappy with her BF, and BF didn’t get to bring his GF so he’s probably annoyed too. It’s just a bad start to their relationship and I feel like it’ll always be seen as your fault.

Nah, I think OP's friend got his priority straight. Personally, I think his relationship with that girl won't last because of her jealousy. They've just started dating, and she already wants him to give up his existing friendship. At least he has a spine to say no to her. Good for him.

You live on another planet if you think most anyone would be fine with their new boyfriend/girlfriend jetting off on a vacation with an opposite sex friend. Get a clue. It may be jealousy but it’s appropriate and normal.

+1. If I were dating a guy who did this, I'd probably end the relationship.

Why exactly? He's not sleeping with OP. They are long time friends who have traveled together before. This trip was planned and paid for before the GF was in the picture. You would end a relationship just because you are jealous?

That seems...crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again! Just talked to my guy friend. Yesterday I had sent him a text telling him I needed some time to think about this because it was feeling a but like a lose-lose situation for me. He came in to my office this morning, stopped me from saying anything about it and said he thought about it a lot after I sent that text and that he was fully rescinding his ask for her to come. He realized it would make me uncomfortable and didn't want to do that since we planned this before I knew about the girl. And that he promises he is still very excited and that we are going to have a great time. So it looks like problem solved for now.

Apparently GF is not happy about it, but they've talked about it a lot and he promises they will be fine about it. It sounds like the trip can go on as planned, guy friend and I can have a good time on our last hurrah. I'm glad he did what I thought was the right thing and didn't make me be the bad guy here.

Glad to hear this worked out. Another thing I've been wondering about is that this is a lot of pressure to put on a relationship where they've only seen each other three times. Not good for them to jump into a trip like this anyway.

[Anonymous]

I went on a cross-country road trip with my ex-boyfriend months into dating my now-husband. Husband wasn't happy about it, but he didn't dump me either. I wasn't going to majorly bail on a long-time friend for a new boyfriend. Husband is now the beneficiary of the value I place on loyalty and coming through for those I care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again! Just talked to my guy friend. Yesterday I had sent him a text telling him I needed some time to think about this because it was feeling a but like a lose-lose situation for me. He came in to my office this morning, stopped me from saying anything about it and said he thought about it a lot after I sent that text and that he was fully rescinding his ask for her to come. He realized it would make me uncomfortable and didn't want to do that since we planned this before I knew about the girl. And that he promises he is still very excited and that we are going to have a great time. So it looks like problem solved for now.

Apparently GF is not happy about it, but they've talked about it a lot and he promises they will be fine about it. It sounds like the trip can go on as planned, guy friend and I can have a good time on our last hurrah. I'm glad he did what I thought was the right thing and didn't make me be the bad guy here.

Now that you got what you wanted can you tell us if you are male or female?

Are you serious? It’s been made clear several times that OP is female.

Why wouldn't I be serious? Where does she say I'm a woman?

NP. Why else would the girlfriend be uncomfortable with them going and upset about it?! Context clues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don’t know. This was kind of a lose lose situation. You got what you wanted, but to what end? Now GF is unhappy with her BF, and BF didn’t get to bring his GF so he’s probably annoyed too. It’s just a bad start to their relationship and I feel like it’ll always be seen as your fault.

Nah, I think OP's friend got his priority straight. Personally, I think his relationship with that girl won't last because of her jealousy. They've just started dating, and she already wants him to give up his existing friendship. At least he has a spine to say no to her. Good for him.

You live on another planet if you think most anyone would be fine with their new boyfriend/girlfriend jetting off on a vacation with an opposite sex friend. Get a clue. It may be jealousy but it’s appropriate and normal.

+1. If I were dating a guy who did this, I'd probably end the relationship.

Why exactly? He's not sleeping with OP. They are long time friends who have traveled together before. This trip was planned and paid for before the GF was in the picture. You would end a relationship just because you are jealous?

That seems...crazy.

I’m not so sure I’d believe they weren’t sleeping together, especially if OP had asked me not to go. Can you not understand that from GF’s perspective? Not crazy in the least.