Anyone on here have your very 1st child as a young teenager? 14? 15? 16?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my childhood best friends got pregnant at 14 and had her baby just a month after turning 15. My parents had forbidden me from hanging out with her halfway through 6th grade when she became a "bad kid" in their eyes (got caught smoking and then got caught stealing from Icing in the mall). We still spoke but only at school and our friendship suffered because of this. She still invited me to her baby shower and I got her a gift on my own, but my parents wouldn't let me go. They thought it was appalling that her parents were carrying on as if it was a completely normal situation, throwing the showers, having a big 15th birthday party, the dad remodeling the basement to make an apartment for her and the baby's father to live in, etc. She switched to homeschool after the baby was born and we pretty much lost touch for years. She contacted me on Facebook about 3 years ago because it turned out we had another mutual friend through our kid's soccer team and FB suggested me as a friend. The baby she had in HS is turning 21 this year. That's crazy since we're both turning 36 this year. She has a 10 year old and a 6 year old now and is married (not to the HS baby daddy). It's funny because even though so much time has passed, we both still remember each others childhood secrets. I really wish my parents hadn't made me stop being her friend all those years ago.

Why the hostility from your parents?

Once the baby was born it should have been all about moving forward and not looking back.

Im a parent and I would never let my kid maintain a close relationship with a pregnant 14 year old. Or attend a shower. This is not normal or acceptable behavior. Its proven that more normalized this becomes the more likely girls are to get pregnant and think its cool. Its not.

Yes, it's best just to shame and isolate the child. That will certainly ensure a great future for her and her baby. /s

NP here. Honestly, I wouldn't care what happens with the teen mom and baby. My interest would be in protecting my child. Who would want their kid to be around someone who makes such bad decisions? Clearly, the teen mom would potentially be a bad influence on my child (all teens are affected by what their peers do).

As my father used to say, you lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas.

+10000. The teen mom's social life or mental stability or how well her kid does/doesn't turn out is her and her parents problem, not mine. I would definitely not allow my kid to socialize with a teen mom under age 18 -- talking at school, fine I can't stop that. But baby showers and awwing over cute baby gifts -- no way in hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teen mothers happen with lack of readily available birth control (without parental consent), Plan B, and abortions.

Teens have sex. End of story.

Have you ever watched an episode of 16 & Pregnant or Teen Mom? All of them are well aware of birth control, etc. They each have their own reason for intentionally getting pregnant (i.e. they are dating the hot guy in school and want to attach themselves to him, they want to shock their friends or parents, etc.).

In today's society, there is no shame in getting pregnant so early.(You can do it! We'll support you!)

Teen pregnancy rates are going way down.

Would you prefer that pregnant teens be so ashamed that they get abortions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my childhood best friends got pregnant at 14 and had her baby just a month after turning 15. My parents had forbidden me from hanging out with her halfway through 6th grade when she became a "bad kid" in their eyes (got caught smoking and then got caught stealing from Icing in the mall). We still spoke but only at school and our friendship suffered because of this. She still invited me to her baby shower and I got her a gift on my own, but my parents wouldn't let me go. They thought it was appalling that her parents were carrying on as if it was a completely normal situation, throwing the showers, having a big 15th birthday party, the dad remodeling the basement to make an apartment for her and the baby's father to live in, etc. She switched to homeschool after the baby was born and we pretty much lost touch for years. She contacted me on Facebook about 3 years ago because it turned out we had another mutual friend through our kid's soccer team and FB suggested me as a friend. The baby she had in HS is turning 21 this year. That's crazy since we're both turning 36 this year. She has a 10 year old and a 6 year old now and is married (not to the HS baby daddy). It's funny because even though so much time has passed, we both still remember each others childhood secrets. I really wish my parents hadn't made me stop being her friend all those years ago.

Why the hostility from your parents?

Once the baby was born it should have been all about moving forward and not looking back.

Im a parent and I would never let my kid maintain a close relationship with a pregnant 14 year old. Or attend a shower. This is not normal or acceptable behavior. Its proven that more normalized this becomes the more likely girls are to get pregnant and think its cool. Its not.

Yes, it's best just to shame and isolate the child. That will certainly ensure a great future for her and her baby. /s

NP here. Honestly, I wouldn't care what happens with the teen mom and baby. My interest would be in protecting my child. Who would want their kid to be around someone who makes such bad decisions? Clearly, the teen mom would potentially be a bad influence on my child (all teens are affected by what their peers do).

As my father used to say, you lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas.

+10000. The teen mom's social life or mental stability or how well her kid does/doesn't turn out is her and her parents problem, not mine. I would definitely not allow my kid to socialize with a teen mom under age 18 -- talking at school, fine I can't stop that. But baby showers and awwing over cute baby gifts -- no way in hell.

sounds like a great recipe to ensure your first few grandkids are aborted!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not at all unusual where I grew up (small town, Midwest, corn fields, nothing much to do). There were always several really pregnant girls walking around my high school. They weren't shunned or anything. The high school faced reality and added a baby care class for the girls and boys who were soon to be parents. The babies could be brought in for that period and the soon to be parents could practice diaper changes and such.

I'm sure some of the girls opted for homeschool but that certainly wasn't because they weren't accepted. As far as I know, those pregnant classmates are generally doing fine now, 20 years later.

this is why we need to bring back shame. There is no reason for a teenager to get pregnant these days.

SHAME?

When did shame become a form a birth control?

I'm Asian and honestly think some non-Asian Americans could use some shame. Stigma can be purposeful for keeping young people on the straight and narrow. There's a reason why Asians don't have many of the social problems that plague other races.

You must have never been to Thailand before.

I’m Thai and find this statement highly insulting. Teen pregnancies amongst educated, middle/upper middle class girls are almost unheard of because being proper and well behaved is expected. If you’re talking rural village girls, that’s an entirely different thing. And all the girls in the sex trade are rural village girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my childhood best friends got pregnant at 14 and had her baby just a month after turning 15. My parents had forbidden me from hanging out with her halfway through 6th grade when she became a "bad kid" in their eyes (got caught smoking and then got caught stealing from Icing in the mall). We still spoke but only at school and our friendship suffered because of this. She still invited me to her baby shower and I got her a gift on my own, but my parents wouldn't let me go. They thought it was appalling that her parents were carrying on as if it was a completely normal situation, throwing the showers, having a big 15th birthday party, the dad remodeling the basement to make an apartment for her and the baby's father to live in, etc. She switched to homeschool after the baby was born and we pretty much lost touch for years. She contacted me on Facebook about 3 years ago because it turned out we had another mutual friend through our kid's soccer team and FB suggested me as a friend. The baby she had in HS is turning 21 this year. That's crazy since we're both turning 36 this year. She has a 10 year old and a 6 year old now and is married (not to the HS baby daddy). It's funny because even though so much time has passed, we both still remember each others childhood secrets. I really wish my parents hadn't made me stop being her friend all those years ago.

Why the hostility from your parents?

Once the baby was born it should have been all about moving forward and not looking back.

Im a parent and I would never let my kid maintain a close relationship with a pregnant 14 year old. Or attend a shower. This is not normal or acceptable behavior. Its proven that more normalized this becomes the more likely girls are to get pregnant and think its cool. Its not.

Yes, it's best just to shame and isolate the child. That will certainly ensure a great future for her and her baby. /s

NP here. Honestly, I wouldn't care what happens with the teen mom and baby. My interest would be in protecting my child. Who would want their kid to be around someone who makes such bad decisions? Clearly, the teen mom would potentially be a bad influence on my child (all teens are affected by what their peers do).

As my father used to say, you lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas.

+10000. The teen mom's social life or mental stability or how well her kid does/doesn't turn out is her and her parents problem, not mine. I would definitely not allow my kid to socialize with a teen mom under age 18 -- talking at school, fine I can't stop that. But baby showers and awwing over cute baby gifts -- no way in hell.

sounds like a great recipe to ensure your first few grandkids are aborted!

I'm perfectly fine with that if grandkids are being conceived before a college degree is in hand. Honestly if my kid were to get pregnant at 15 or 17 or whatever, there would be none of this -- OMG we support you and love you and the baby -- nonsense. I'd be marching her to her abortion appointment. If she refused, well good luck raising a baby on the streets bc I'm not supporting you and the baby in my home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my childhood best friends got pregnant at 14 and had her baby just a month after turning 15. My parents had forbidden me from hanging out with her halfway through 6th grade when she became a "bad kid" in their eyes (got caught smoking and then got caught stealing from Icing in the mall). We still spoke but only at school and our friendship suffered because of this. She still invited me to her baby shower and I got her a gift on my own, but my parents wouldn't let me go. They thought it was appalling that her parents were carrying on as if it was a completely normal situation, throwing the showers, having a big 15th birthday party, the dad remodeling the basement to make an apartment for her and the baby's father to live in, etc. She switched to homeschool after the baby was born and we pretty much lost touch for years. She contacted me on Facebook about 3 years ago because it turned out we had another mutual friend through our kid's soccer team and FB suggested me as a friend. The baby she had in HS is turning 21 this year. That's crazy since we're both turning 36 this year. She has a 10 year old and a 6 year old now and is married (not to the HS baby daddy). It's funny because even though so much time has passed, we both still remember each others childhood secrets. I really wish my parents hadn't made me stop being her friend all those years ago.

Why the hostility from your parents?

Once the baby was born it should have been all about moving forward and not looking back.

Im a parent and I would never let my kid maintain a close relationship with a pregnant 14 year old. Or attend a shower. This is not normal or acceptable behavior. Its proven that more normalized this becomes the more likely girls are to get pregnant and think its cool. Its not.

Yes, it's best just to shame and isolate the child. That will certainly ensure a great future for her and her baby. /s

NP here. Honestly, I wouldn't care what happens with the teen mom and baby. My interest would be in protecting my child. Who would want their kid to be around someone who makes such bad decisions? Clearly, the teen mom would potentially be a bad influence on my child (all teens are affected by what their peers do).

As my father used to say, you lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas.

+10000. The teen mom's social life or mental stability or how well her kid does/doesn't turn out is her and her parents problem, not mine. I would definitely not allow my kid to socialize with a teen mom under age 18 -- talking at school, fine I can't stop that. But baby showers and awwing over cute baby gifts -- no way in hell.

sounds like a great recipe to ensure your first few grandkids are aborted!

Not PP, but if they were going to show up while my daughter was a teenager, I'd sincerely hope they'd be aborted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not at all unusual where I grew up (small town, Midwest, corn fields, nothing much to do). There were always several really pregnant girls walking around my high school. They weren't shunned or anything. The high school faced reality and added a baby care class for the girls and boys who were soon to be parents. The babies could be brought in for that period and the soon to be parents could practice diaper changes and such.

I'm sure some of the girls opted for homeschool but that certainly wasn't because they weren't accepted. As far as I know, those pregnant classmates are generally doing fine now, 20 years later.

this is why we need to bring back shame. There is no reason for a teenager to get pregnant these days.

SHAME?

When did shame become a form a birth control?

I'm Asian and honestly think some non-Asian Americans could use some shame. Stigma can be purposeful for keeping young people on the straight and narrow. There's a reason why Asians don't have many of the social problems that plague other races.

You must have never been to Thailand before.

I’m Thai and find this statement highly insulting. Teen pregnancies amongst educated, middle/upper middle class girls are almost unheard of because being proper and well behaved is expected. If you’re talking rural village girls, that’s an entirely different thing. And all the girls in the sex trade are rural village girls.

NP here. It's okay to say non-Asian Americans could use some shame, but not okay to in turn point out the Asian cultures where the sex trade and sexual exploitation are rampant. Double standard much? It's not just in Thailand- look at the girls working the massage parlors (hint- they're mostly Asian). Just saying there is plenty of shame to go around all races/cultures where promiscuity and sexual misconduct are concerned. Asians aren't excluded. To suggest otherwise, then be insulted by PP's comment is ignorant and racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not at all unusual where I grew up (small town, Midwest, corn fields, nothing much to do). There were always several really pregnant girls walking around my high school. They weren't shunned or anything. The high school faced reality and added a baby care class for the girls and boys who were soon to be parents. The babies could be brought in for that period and the soon to be parents could practice diaper changes and such.

I'm sure some of the girls opted for homeschool but that certainly wasn't because they weren't accepted. As far as I know, those pregnant classmates are generally doing fine now, 20 years later.

this is why we need to bring back shame. There is no reason for a teenager to get pregnant these days.

SHAME?

When did shame become a form a birth control?

I'm Asian and honestly think some non-Asian Americans could use some shame. Stigma can be purposeful for keeping young people on the straight and narrow. There's a reason why Asians don't have many of the social problems that plague other races.

You must have never been to Thailand before.

I’m Thai and find this statement highly insulting. Teen pregnancies amongst educated, middle/upper middle class girls are almost unheard of because being proper and well behaved is expected. If you’re talking rural village girls, that’s an entirely different thing. And all the girls in the sex trade are rural village girls.

Yes, those improper slutty village girls. They’re in the sex trade because they’re bad leople. Has nothing to do with poverty.

Get your head out of your snobby overprivileged rear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who is a grandmother at 38. That woman’s mother is in her early 50s, maybe 52-53, and she’s a great-grandmother! Three generations (at least) of teen pregnancies.

One of my uncles was a grandfather at 32. That first grandchild became a father very young, as well. 16 maybe? So my uncle was still in his 40s when he became a great-grandfather.

Meanwhile, his only sibling (my dad) was quite a bit older than 32 when became a father, almost 3 full decades past his 40s when he became a grandfather, & will probably be well into his 90s if & when he becomes a great-grandfather.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are teen parents.

Our daughter just graduated from college at 22.

It was difficult and there will always be a tiny bit of shame attached, especially when people find out how old we are and how old our daughter is, we get tired of having to explain ourselves over 20 years later, but life is life. Sometimes I lie about my age just to avoid the questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my childhood best friends got pregnant at 14 and had her baby just a month after turning 15. My parents had forbidden me from hanging out with her halfway through 6th grade when she became a "bad kid" in their eyes (got caught smoking and then got caught stealing from Icing in the mall). We still spoke but only at school and our friendship suffered because of this. She still invited me to her baby shower and I got her a gift on my own, but my parents wouldn't let me go. They thought it was appalling that her parents were carrying on as if it was a completely normal situation, throwing the showers, having a big 15th birthday party, the dad remodeling the basement to make an apartment for her and the baby's father to live in, etc. She switched to homeschool after the baby was born and we pretty much lost touch for years. She contacted me on Facebook about 3 years ago because it turned out we had another mutual friend through our kid's soccer team and FB suggested me as a friend. The baby she had in HS is turning 21 this year. That's crazy since we're both turning 36 this year. She has a 10 year old and a 6 year old now and is married (not to the HS baby daddy). It's funny because even though so much time has passed, we both still remember each others childhood secrets. I really wish my parents hadn't made me stop being her friend all those years ago.

Why the hostility from your parents?

Once the baby was born it should have been all about moving forward and not looking back.

Im a parent and I would never let my kid maintain a close relationship with a pregnant 14 year old. Or attend a shower. This is not normal or acceptable behavior. Its proven that more normalized this becomes the more likely girls are to get pregnant and think its cool. Its not.

Yes, it's best just to shame and isolate the child. That will certainly ensure a great future for her and her baby. /s

NP here. Honestly, I wouldn't care what happens with the teen mom and baby. My interest would be in protecting my child. Who would want their kid to be around someone who makes such bad decisions? Clearly, the teen mom would potentially be a bad influence on my child (all teens are affected by what their peers do).

As my father used to say, you lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas.

+10000. The teen mom's social life or mental stability or how well her kid does/doesn't turn out is her and her parents problem, not mine. I would definitely not allow my kid to socialize with a teen mom under age 18 -- talking at school, fine I can't stop that. But baby showers and awwing over cute baby gifts -- no way in hell.

sounds like a great recipe to ensure your first few grandkids are aborted!

I'm perfectly fine with that if grandkids are being conceived before a college degree is in hand. Honestly if my kid were to get pregnant at 15 or 17 or whatever, there would be none of this -- OMG we support you and love you and the baby -- nonsense. I'd be marching her to her abortion appointment. If she refused, well good luck raising a baby on the streets bc I'm not supporting you and the baby in my home.

NP.
+1,000,000.

[Anonymous]

sounds like a great recipe to ensure your first few grandkids are aborted!


I'm perfectly fine with that if grandkids are being conceived before a college degree is in hand. Honestly if my kid were to get pregnant at 15 or 17 or whatever, there would be none of this -- OMG we support you and love you and the baby -- nonsense. I'd be marching her to her abortion appointment. If she refused, well good luck raising a baby on the streets bc I'm not supporting you and the baby in my home.


NP.
+1,000,000.

Yep. Another NP with a +1,000,000 on that one. And I am very clear about that with my teenage DD. If you think you are capable of having a baby, then you need to be capable of providing for it.

[Anonymous]

I am a Mother & would NEVER tell my child who to be friends with.
Or not be friends with.

Why?
My parents did that to me as a kid and it was tough to only speak to certain friends only when I was at school.

My parents were very judgmental + controlling and I felt as if I missed out on a lot of fun by them choosing my friends for me vs. trusting my own judgment.

[Anonymous]

sounds like a great recipe to ensure your first few grandkids are aborted!

Yeah, that would be the plan. I didn't have sex before I could have been a true teen mom, but my mother made damned sure this wouldn't happen through birth control, frank conversation, and if needed abortion always supported. I'm sure grandkids would be nice at some point, but not at the expense of your own kid's lives. Hard pass on grandkids with a 14 year old mom, supporting both presumably. You do know you can have an abortion and go on to start your family when you are emotionally, physically, and financially ready?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not at all unusual where I grew up (small town, Midwest, corn fields, nothing much to do). There were always several really pregnant girls walking around my high school. They weren't shunned or anything. The high school faced reality and added a baby care class for the girls and boys who were soon to be parents. The babies could be brought in for that period and the soon to be parents could practice diaper changes and such.

I'm sure some of the girls opted for homeschool but that certainly wasn't because they weren't accepted. As far as I know, those pregnant classmates are generally doing fine now, 20 years later.

this is why we need to bring back shame. There is no reason for a teenager to get pregnant these days.

Shame is the reason Asia has a high suicide rate.

Nothing wrong with that. People kill themselves at a high rate in the US too. Oh wait, no, they OD and die.