Anyone on here have your very 1st child as a young teenager? 14? 15? 16?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not at all unusual where I grew up (small town, Midwest, corn fields, nothing much to do). There were always several really pregnant girls walking around my high school. They weren't shunned or anything. The high school faced reality and added a baby care class for the girls and boys who were soon to be parents. The babies could be brought in for that period and the soon to be parents could practice diaper changes and such.

I'm sure some of the girls opted for homeschool but that certainly wasn't because they weren't accepted. As far as I know, those pregnant classmates are generally doing fine now, 20 years later.

this is why we need to bring back shame. There is no reason for a teenager to get pregnant these days.

SHAME?

When did shame become a form a birth control?

I'm Asian and honestly think some non-Asian Americans could use some shame. Stigma can be purposeful for keeping young people on the straight and narrow. There's a reason why Asians don't have many of the social problems that plague other races.

You must have never been to Thailand before.

I’m Thai and find this statement highly insulting. Teen pregnancies amongst educated, middle/upper middle class girls are almost unheard of because being proper and well behaved is expected. If you’re talking rural village girls, that’s an entirely different thing. And all the girls in the sex trade are rural village girls.

NP here. It's okay to say non-Asian Americans could use some shame, but not okay to in turn point out the Asian cultures where the sex trade and sexual exploitation are rampant. Double standard much? It's not just in Thailand- look at the girls working the massage parlors (hint- they're mostly Asian). Just saying there is plenty of shame to go around all races/cultures where promiscuity and sexual misconduct are concerned. Asians aren't excluded. To suggest otherwise, then be insulted by PP's comment is ignorant and racist.

The Asian women working in massage parlors in the US are like the Thai sex workers who really exist on the fringes of society. PP wasn't referring to them, because those Asians weren't born or raised in the US. They come here just to work under the radar and earn money. The Asian success PP was thinking about probably had to do with Asians like Amy Chua and her daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are teen parents.

Our daughter just graduated from college at 22.

It was difficult and there will always be a tiny bit of shame attached, especially when people find out how old we are and how old our daughter is, we get tired of having to explain ourselves over 20 years later, but life is life. Sometimes I lie about my age just to avoid the questions.

It sounds as though you and your husband have done a great job. You have absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about!

Congratulations to your daughter on her graduation from college. Congratulations to you and your husband for sticking together and raising a great kid even though you were kids yourselves when she was born.

I didn't have my own kids until my mid to late 30's. I'll bet I wasn't a whole lot younger than you are now when I had my second and last child. The other day I was at a school event for one of my kids when a lady around my age sat down right behind me. I heard her mention that she was there to see her teenage grandchild.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The Asian women working in massage parlors in the US are like the Thai sex workers who really exist on the fringes of society. PP wasn't referring to them, because those Asians weren't born or raised in the US. They come here just to work under the radar and earn money. The Asian success PP was thinking about probably had to do with Asians like Amy Chua and her daughters.

Amy Chua is an Asian-American - she was born in Illinois (thanks, Wikipedia). Amy Chua's daughters are biracial and were also born in the US. And as the daughter of a professor at Berkeley, a graduate of Harvard College and Harvard Law, and a professor at Yale Law, Amy Chua is hardly a typical Asian-American (or a typical anybody).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

sounds like a great recipe to ensure your first few grandkids are aborted!


I'm perfectly fine with that if grandkids are being conceived before a college degree is in hand. Honestly if my kid were to get pregnant at 15 or 17 or whatever, there would be none of this -- OMG we support you and love you and the baby -- nonsense. I'd be marching her to her abortion appointment. If she refused, well good luck raising a baby on the streets bc I'm not supporting you and the baby in my home.


NP.
+1,000,000.

Yep. Another NP with a +1,000,000 on that one. And I am very clear about that with my teenage DD. If you think you are capable of having a baby, then you need to be capable of providing for it.

If you are that opposed to your kid having sex and getting pregnant, I hope you keep a close eye on them and know where they are and who they are with at all times. I hope you are not the type of parent who watches their kid walk out the door in the morning and can't be bothered to know where they are going or who they are spending their time with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The good news: teen birth rates are WAY down over the past few decades:

https://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-development/reproductive-health-and-teen-pregnancy/teen-pregnancy-and-childbearing/trends/index.html

Overall rates are about 1/3 of what they were in the early 1990s, and for black girls, it's down nearly to about 1/4 of what it was.

The bad news is the number of kids born with IVF are way up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The good news: teen birth rates are WAY down over the past few decades:

https://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-development/reproductive-health-and-teen-pregnancy/teen-pregnancy-and-childbearing/trends/index.html

Overall rates are about 1/3 of what they were in the early 1990s, and for black girls, it's down nearly to about 1/4 of what it was.

The bad news is the number of kids born with IVF are way up.

Because IVF technology has also improved substantially and is much more than affordable than it used to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the upside, I'm in my early 50's and I have seen quite a few women my age with 30 something adult children and 5+ grandchildren to show for it. They've managed to do o.k. for themselves and love nothing more than spoiling their grand babies.

I was not a teen mom, had my first kid at 20, but I probably will be that 50y.o. grandmother. I was able to finish college and went to grad school with a toddler. I am so close to my daughter, she is my best friend, best travel buddy. She is in top college now, but told me that she would like to have her kids in her early 20s. I guess it runs in family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again I say, 100 years ago it was probably normal for a girl to be married with at least 1 child by age 13 or 14.

No. It was not normal at all.

https://historymyths.wordpress.com/2014/07/06/myth-136-women-married-very-young-in-the-olden-days/

[Anonymous]

https://www.ashtondrake.com/products/301787001_touch-activated-lifelike-baby-doll-butterfly-kisses.html?cm_ven=GPS&cm_cat=Google%7CProductAds&cm_ite=301787001&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2ZeRqfSM2wIVCDJpCh32cAcDEAQYAiABEgJSRfD_BwE

Aren't there baby robots for teens to babysit for an entire day that simulate what having a baby entails?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again I say, 100 years ago it was probably normal for a girl to be married with at least 1 child by age 13 or 14.

No, it never was. Only among the elites was it something that was done for inheritance and alliance reasons. Rare among normal folks.

Wrong. Working class people needed free labor for their farm or business and knew that at least half their children would die in childbirth or as infants so they popped them out early and often.

Well, you're wrong.

Average age at first marriage:

Year Males Females
1890 26.1 22.0
1900 25.9 21.9
1910 25.1 21.6
1920 24.6 21.2
1930 24.3 21.3
1940 24.3 21.5
1950 22.8 20.3

https://www.infoplease.com/us/marital-status/median-age-first-marriage-1890-2010

Men married relatively late because they needed to establish themselves and to be able to support a wife (get the farm, get established in their careers/professions/jobs).

Truly young marriages such as mid-teen years was always rare. And like today, more common among the very poor / lower elements of society. You did get more women getting married at 18/19 but under 18 was pretty rare.

I know we're talking about pregnancies rather than marriages but out of wedlock pregnancies in the US and the western world was unusual not the norm by any stretch of the imagination. So you can infer from the data that most people had their first children in their twenties.

The low marriage age for men in the 1950s-1970s was very much an exception and largely due to economics of the time allowing people to marry and settle down young. The rapid rise in the marriage ages since the 1980s is also largely due to economics. Ok, this is going off topic.

[Anonymous]

I do not know why some people are trying to bring financial status into the mix here.

A girl I went to school with who lived in a million dollar house (this was over 20 years ago) with very wealthy parents ended up getting pregnant at 16.
The father of the baby (same age) also lived in a million dollar house with very wealthy parents.

I have not seen or hard from her in over 20 years but I assume her and her now 21 year old child are doing just fine.

[Anonymous]

*heard*

[Anonymous]

Most teenagers don't have two dimes to rub together. For high-SES families with knocked-up teens, it's likely they'd be marching their daughters to get the pregnancy terminated. The low-SES ones don't care because it's quite normalized for them. Amy Chua is typical of the Asian parent in this country. Read her book! Do you think she would have been okay with either of her daughters becoming wayward and pregnant in their teens? No, because she's not a white permissive "We'll support you in everything" parent. She sets the standards for her kids and more parents should be like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not know why some people are trying to bring financial status into the mix here.

A girl I went to school with who lived in a million dollar house (this was over 20 years ago) with very wealthy parents ended up getting pregnant at 16.
The father of the baby (same age) also lived in a million dollar house with very wealthy parents.

I have not seen or hard from her in over 20 years but I assume her and her now 21 year old child are doing just fine.

Because the vast majority of unplanned pregnancies among teenagers in the upper middle and upper classes are terminated. The girls are marched straight to the abortion clinic first thing. It is devastating to these families to have a teen pregnancy.

Pregnancies do happen, but there is no question that the vast majority of teen pregnancies are among the lower incomes. They get more and more infrequent to eventually nearly non-existent the higher up the incomes you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not know why some people are trying to bring financial status into the mix here.

A girl I went to school with who lived in a million dollar house (this was over 20 years ago) with very wealthy parents ended up getting pregnant at 16.
The father of the baby (same age) also lived in a million dollar house with very wealthy parents.

I have not seen or hard from her in over 20 years but I assume her and her now 21 year old child are doing just fine.

Because the vast majority of unplanned pregnancies among teenagers in the upper middle and upper classes are terminated. The girls are marched straight to the abortion clinic first thing. It is devastating to these families to have a teen pregnancy.

Pregnancies do happen, but there is no question that the vast majority of teen pregnancies are among the lower incomes. They get more and more infrequent to eventually nearly non-existent the higher up the incomes you go.

So the higher incomes are better at using protection or birth control because I guarantee you those girls are out there having sex.
I know because I went to school with a lot of them.
Sneaking out of the house with guys, lying to parents about not having boyfriends, having a separate backpack filled with revealing clothing to change into etc... was very common.