Anyone on here have your very 1st child as a young teenager? 14? 15? 16?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my daughter when I was 17. In hindsight, it was a difficult experience, it changed the trajectory of my life and it made me have to grow up super fast. Also fun? Killed my relationship with my parents and I got to learn very quickly how useless and terrible my boyfriend was.

That's the bad.

Now, the good. When I decided to have my daughter, I made a point to spend the entire pregnancy getting myself in a place to support my daughter and myself. I got my GED quickly. I enrolled in a speedy LPN program, and by the time my daughter was three months old, I got two full time jobs. I worked my ass off, I hustled for support including working nights and weekends so I could do as much childcare as possible. My mother had a hard time with things, but saw the changes in me and fell in love with my daughter.

I eventually cut one job down and enrolled in a RN program at NOVA. I finished it and was able to get an even better job. that paid for my BSN. I kept working, kept saving because my dream was to afford a home by the time DD turned 5 (before K). Thanks to the housing crisis, I was able to get afford a small townhouse that fed into an excellent pyramid. I still worked at the hospital and picked up extra shifts here and there to pay for things, but I've been independently supporting us for the past 10 years. My mother and father are still involved and around, but it isn't the pattern of grandma turning into mom. I'm the mother.

Now the amazing. DD is an amazing young woman. She's curious. She's funny. She's talented and kind and a bit shy. She is such a joy and parenting has been one of the hardest but worthy things I've ever done.

She's in high school now and I'm looking at an empty nest and it's strange because I'm so young. I could have another child, but I don't see that happening. I'd like to get my master's at some point, maybe become an NP. I'd like to travel.

Your responsibility and grit is apparent. You sound like a loving and inspirational mom and I’m sure your daughter appreciates it all. I had a teen mom, but my own child after 5 years of marriage and I didn’t fully appreciate it all until that happened.

Thank you. One thing I forgot to write is that there was so many resources out there to help me. That LPN program was sponsored by my high school and free. My baby was eligible for medicaid. I was able to get child care support and WIC when the baby was born and I wasn't working. I spent a good amount of time trying to figure out HOW I could do this and getting resources to support me while I was trying to get my life together.

And I won't lie. During the first two months, I had an either or plan. I was either going to have a plan to make this work and was able to get resources and support in place to make things happen or I was going to Maryland and getting an abortion. I'm relieved that at that time the resources were there to help me.

What scares me now is that there's a two sided attack. Cutting resources and supports for mothers who are struggling and then simultaneously making it more difficult to terminate a pregnancy because a woman can't support that pregnancy.

I wanted to add that caveat because I get a lot of see THIS is why someone shouldn't be able to have an abortion. You did it. I don't think that's the right point. I was able to choose this and I am happy I was able to, but there were many factors weighing on my choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my daughter when I was 17. In hindsight, it was a difficult experience, it changed the trajectory of my life and it made me have to grow up super fast. Also fun? Killed my relationship with my parents and I got to learn very quickly how useless and terrible my boyfriend was.

That's the bad.

Now, the good. When I decided to have my daughter, I made a point to spend the entire pregnancy getting myself in a place to support my daughter and myself. I got my GED quickly. I enrolled in a speedy LPN program, and by the time my daughter was three months old, I got two full time jobs. I worked my ass off, I hustled for support including working nights and weekends so I could do as much childcare as possible. My mother had a hard time with things, but saw the changes in me and fell in love with my daughter.

I eventually cut one job down and enrolled in a RN program at NOVA. I finished it and was able to get an even better job. that paid for my BSN. I kept working, kept saving because my dream was to afford a home by the time DD turned 5 (before K). Thanks to the housing crisis, I was able to get afford a small townhouse that fed into an excellent pyramid. I still worked at the hospital and picked up extra shifts here and there to pay for things, but I've been independently supporting us for the past 10 years. My mother and father are still involved and around, but it isn't the pattern of grandma turning into mom. I'm the mother.

Now the amazing. DD is an amazing young woman. She's curious. She's funny. She's talented and kind and a bit shy. She is such a joy and parenting has been one of the hardest but worthy things I've ever done.

She's in high school now and I'm looking at an empty nest and it's strange because I'm so young. I could have another child, but I don't see that happening. I'd like to get my master's at some point, maybe become an NP. I'd like to travel.

Your responsibility and grit is apparent. You sound like a loving and inspirational mom and I’m sure your daughter appreciates it all. I had a teen mom, but my own child after 5 years of marriage and I didn’t fully appreciate it all until that happened.

Thank you. One thing I forgot to write is that there was so many resources out there to help me. That LPN program was sponsored by my high school and free. My baby was eligible for medicaid. I was able to get child care support and WIC when the baby was born and I wasn't working. I spent a good amount of time trying to figure out HOW I could do this and getting resources to support me while I was trying to get my life together.

And I won't lie. During the first two months, I had an either or plan. I was either going to have a plan to make this work and was able to get resources and support in place to make things happen or I was going to Maryland and getting an abortion. I'm relieved that at that time the resources were there to help me.

What scares me now is that there's a two sided attack. Cutting resources and supports for mothers who are struggling and then simultaneously making it more difficult to terminate a pregnancy because a woman can't support that pregnancy.

I wanted to add that caveat because I get a lot of see THIS is why someone shouldn't be able to have an abortion. You did it. I don't think that's the right point. I was able to choose this and I am happy I was able to, but there were many factors weighing on my choices.

I want to hug and kiss you for this. You sound like such an awesome person!!

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Bums me out the dads are out of the picture by the time the kid starts school. And rarely involved when child is in teen or adult years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. Bums me out the dads are out of the picture by the time the kid starts school. And rarely involved when child is in teen or adult years.

I am the mother who posted who is a nurse. And I am here for this. This whole what about the dads?

Well...as someone who has mentored over 100 women who have either chosen to have children or have chosen to terminate their pregnancies, I can say this. The dads? 90 percent of the time want nothing to do with the child and want to live their lives without the hassle of child support, etc. They want to go to college, they will pay for that abortion (it's INTERESTING how often it's people protecting men who push this btw) and they will either sign off rights (my ex) or fight tooth and nail to avoid support to not get their lives derailed.

Because it's a derailment. It's not the path that I even wanted. I didn't want to be an adult so soon. I wanted to back pack across Europe and I wanted a college experience. I wanted to be a physician. I wanted a lot of things. But I decided I wanted my daughter and wanted to be a mother more. And I made choices that reflected that.

Dear PP: until you put a comprehensive system in federal court to garnish child support like IRS payments, please take a million seats. I see you.

[Anonymous]

My cousin had her first at 15. Her DD has intellectual SN. She would have been a challenge even for an older, financially stable couple, let alone an inner city teenage drop out. My cousin worked very hard though and was on her feet by 19. It was largely because of social programs like WIC, food stamps, and Head Start that did what they were supposed to do. I get mad whenever I hear people slam these programs. They ameliorate the effects of poverty for young children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teen mothers happen with lack of readily available birth control (without parental consent), Plan B, and abortions.

Teens have sex. End of story.

Have you ever watched an episode of 16 & Pregnant or Teen Mom? All of them are well aware of birth control, etc. They each have their own reason for intentionally getting pregnant (i.e. they are dating the hot guy in school and want to attach themselves to him, they want to shock their friends or parents, etc.).

In today's society, there is no shame in getting pregnant so early.(You can do it! We'll support you!)

Teen pregnancy rates are going way down.

Would you prefer that pregnant teens be so ashamed that they get abortions?

yes. Abortions are safe. They should be accessible and free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my parents flat out told me I would get an abortion if I were to become pregnant in HS. No discussion.

It wasn't needed, anyway. I had no intention of derailing my life like that.

my pro life dad would have done the exact same thing. Basically he would have told my mom to handle it. I figure most pro life republicans have plenty of abortions in the family they hide.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with someone who was pregnant all through high school. She waa 22 with 5 kids. First was born at 12 or 13. She got her tubes tied and has a miscarriage 3 months later

My distant cousin had 5 by age 20.

It's strange to see my friend with 3 grandkids and she's 35