Anyone on here have your very 1st child as a young teenager? 14? 15? 16?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[
sounds like a great recipe to ensure your first few grandkids are aborted!

I'm perfectly fine with that if grandkids are being conceived before a college degree is in hand. Honestly if my kid were to get pregnant at 15 or 17 or whatever, there would be none of this -- OMG we support you and love you and the baby -- nonsense. I'd be marching her to her abortion appointment. If she refused, well good luck raising a baby on the streets bc I'm not supporting you and the baby in my home.

Wow you sound so unkind.

I have raised teens-have 2 twenty-somethings (college grad and student) and two teens (honor roll kids). No one has been pregnant-but we're family and we will always care for ours. It would not even occur to me to put them on the street! Or 'march' them to an abortion (only your OWN 'choice' I guess). What a weird mindset

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10 pages of comments but we are still only talking about girls here. No one talking about boys who became fathers as teenagers? Maybe once we see this as an issue that involves both sexes we can.prevent more teen pregnancy. Right now, it still seems that the shame, like the child, is solely a female burden....

Yup. Apparently it's literally true about girls getting themselves pregnant. All by themselves, nobody else involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not at all unusual where I grew up (small town, Midwest, corn fields, nothing much to do). There were always several really pregnant girls walking around my high school. They weren't shunned or anything. The high school faced reality and added a baby care class for the girls and boys who were soon to be parents. The babies could be brought in for that period and the soon to be parents could practice diaper changes and such.

I'm sure some of the girls opted for homeschool but that certainly wasn't because they weren't accepted. As far as I know, those pregnant classmates are generally doing fine now, 20 years later.

this is why we need to bring back shame. There is no reason for a teenager to get pregnant these days.

SHAME?

When did shame become a form a birth control?

I'm Asian and honestly think some non-Asian Americans could use some shame. Stigma can be purposeful for keeping young people on the straight and narrow. There's a reason why Asians don't have many of the social problems that plague other races.

You must have never been to Thailand before.

I’m Thai and find this statement highly insulting. Teen pregnancies amongst educated, middle/upper middle class girls are almost unheard of because being proper and well behaved is expected. If you’re talking rural village girls, that’s an entirely different thing. And all the girls in the sex trade are rural village girls.

NP here. It's okay to say non-Asian Americans could use some shame, but not okay to in turn point out the Asian cultures where the sex trade and sexual exploitation are rampant. Double standard much? It's not just in Thailand- look at the girls working the massage parlors (hint- they're mostly Asian). Just saying there is plenty of shame to go around all races/cultures where promiscuity and sexual misconduct are concerned. Asians aren't excluded. To suggest otherwise, then be insulted by PP's comment is ignorant and racist.

YOU sound ignorant and racist. You don’t know ANYTHING about the culture. Girls that end up in the sex trade come from poverty. There is plenty of shame in it, but I can garuntee that the majority of them end up in these situations because they have very little options. Most rural children drop out of school by 8th grade to work. Some girls go to the city to work as maids (my uncle at one point had a 15 year old village girl working for him). Many of them get tricked into prostitution. UGH. I hate that Thailand and Thai women have such a terrible reputation, and that the country isn’t really doing anything about it, but you can’t go around making blanket statements about a country and it’s people without knowing anything about it. THAT is racist and ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not at all unusual where I grew up (small town, Midwest, corn fields, nothing much to do). There were always several really pregnant girls walking around my high school. They weren't shunned or anything. The high school faced reality and added a baby care class for the girls and boys who were soon to be parents. The babies could be brought in for that period and the soon to be parents could practice diaper changes and such.

I'm sure some of the girls opted for homeschool but that certainly wasn't because they weren't accepted. As far as I know, those pregnant classmates are generally doing fine now, 20 years later.

this is why we need to bring back shame. There is no reason for a teenager to get pregnant these days.

SHAME?

When did shame become a form a birth control?

I'm Asian and honestly think some non-Asian Americans could use some shame. Stigma can be purposeful for keeping young people on the straight and narrow. There's a reason why Asians don't have many of the social problems that plague other races.

You must have never been to Thailand before.

I’m Thai and find this statement highly insulting. Teen pregnancies amongst educated, middle/upper middle class girls are almost unheard of because being proper and well behaved is expected. If you’re talking rural village girls, that’s an entirely different thing. And all the girls in the sex trade are rural village girls.

Yes, those improper slutty village girls. They’re in the sex trade because they’re bad leople. Has nothing to do with poverty.

Get your head out of your snobby overprivileged rear.

See my response at 8:12.

And F*ck you. I know it has everything to do with poverty, I just didn’t feel like writing a big long response. It is not my job to educate the racist pps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my close high school friends had a baby when she was 16. She dropped out of high school, left her baby behind and hitchhiked to Seattle. Last I heard, she got involved with a biker gang and her daughter is being raised by grandma.

She's probably living in a tent in one of the many drug infested encampments the liberals' policies propagate.

WTF are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

I have several cousins and nieces who had a baby as a teen and un married. Some of the 'babies' have become teens and done the same thing, gotten pregnant as a teen.

All of them stayed poor, lived with parents into adulthood, had a lot of drama with boys/men and gave a tough life to their kid. Some of them got on drugs and dumped their kid on their mom or grandmother.

All of the live in small towns or rural areas and the pregnancies trapped them there. They had to stay in the small towns because they couldn't afford to pay rent and childcare on their meager wages. Teen pregnancy is a trajedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teen mothers happen with lack of readily available birth control (without parental consent), Plan B, and abortions.

Teens have sex. End of story.

There are far worse tragedies in life than teen moms.

Obama and Oprah were both children of teen moms.

[Anonymous]

I had my daughter when I was 17. In hindsight, it was a difficult experience, it changed the trajectory of my life and it made me have to grow up super fast. Also fun? Killed my relationship with my parents and I got to learn very quickly how useless and terrible my boyfriend was.

That's the bad.

Now, the good. When I decided to have my daughter, I made a point to spend the entire pregnancy getting myself in a place to support my daughter and myself. I got my GED quickly. I enrolled in a speedy LPN program, and by the time my daughter was three months old, I got two full time jobs. I worked my ass off, I hustled for support including working nights and weekends so I could do as much childcare as possible. My mother had a hard time with things, but saw the changes in me and fell in love with my daughter.

I eventually cut one job down and enrolled in a RN program at NOVA. I finished it and was able to get an even better job. that paid for my BSN. I kept working, kept saving because my dream was to afford a home by the time DD turned 5 (before K). Thanks to the housing crisis, I was able to get afford a small townhouse that fed into an excellent pyramid. I still worked at the hospital and picked up extra shifts here and there to pay for things, but I've been independently supporting us for the past 10 years. My mother and father are still involved and around, but it isn't the pattern of grandma turning into mom. I'm the mother.

Now the amazing. DD is an amazing young woman. She's curious. She's funny. She's talented and kind and a bit shy. She is such a joy and parenting has been one of the hardest but worthy things I've ever done.

She's in high school now and I'm looking at an empty nest and it's strange because I'm so young. I could have another child, but I don't see that happening. I'd like to get my master's at some point, maybe become an NP. I'd like to travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not at all unusual where I grew up (small town, Midwest, corn fields, nothing much to do). There were always several really pregnant girls walking around my high school. They weren't shunned or anything. The high school faced reality and added a baby care class for the girls and boys who were soon to be parents. The babies could be brought in for that period and the soon to be parents could practice diaper changes and such.

I'm sure some of the girls opted for homeschool but that certainly wasn't because they weren't accepted. As far as I know, those pregnant classmates are generally doing fine now, 20 years later.

this is why we need to bring back shame. There is no reason for a teenager to get pregnant these days.

SHAME?

When did shame become a form a birth control?

I'm Asian and honestly think some non-Asian Americans could use some shame. Stigma can be purposeful for keeping young people on the straight and narrow. There's a reason why Asians don't have many of the social problems that plague other races.

You must have never been to Thailand before.

I’m Thai and find this statement highly insulting. Teen pregnancies amongst educated, middle/upper middle class girls are almost unheard of because being proper and well behaved is expected. If you’re talking rural village girls, that’s an entirely different thing. And all the girls in the sex trade are rural village girls.

NP here. It's okay to say non-Asian Americans could use some shame, but not okay to in turn point out the Asian cultures where the sex trade and sexual exploitation are rampant. Double standard much? It's not just in Thailand- look at the girls working the massage parlors (hint- they're mostly Asian). Just saying there is plenty of shame to go around all races/cultures where promiscuity and sexual misconduct are concerned. Asians aren't excluded. To suggest otherwise, then be insulted by PP's comment is ignorant and racist.

YOU sound ignorant and racist. You don’t know ANYTHING about the culture. Girls that end up in the sex trade come from poverty. There is plenty of shame in it, but I can garuntee that the majority of them end up in these situations because they have very little options. Most rural children drop out of school by 8th grade to work. Some girls go to the city to work as maids (my uncle at one point had a 15 year old village girl working for him). Many of them get tricked into prostitution. UGH. I hate that Thailand and Thai women have such a terrible reputation, and that the country isn’t really doing anything about it, but you can’t go around making blanket statements about a country and it’s people without knowing anything about it. THAT is racist and ignorant.

NP here. The girl i had for 3 nights wasn't tricked. She chose to to make ends meet. Her baby was left in the village with her parents while she came to BKK to find work. The baby father is a drug addict and out of the picture. 1 night with me is worth one month of her office job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10 pages of comments but we are still only talking about girls here. No one talking about boys who became fathers as teenagers? Maybe once we see this as an issue that involves both sexes we can.prevent more teen pregnancy. Right now, it still seems that the shame, like the child, is solely a female burden....

Yup. Apparently it's literally true about girls getting themselves pregnant. All by themselves, nobody else involved.

I had a baby right before turning 15 and a second right after turning 18. Same father. He is 2 years older than me. I lived with him and his mom. He was very involved (and still is).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was not at all unusual where I grew up (small town, Midwest, corn fields, nothing much to do). There were always several really pregnant girls walking around my high school. They weren't shunned or anything. The high school faced reality and added a baby care class for the girls and boys who were soon to be parents. The babies could be brought in for that period and the soon to be parents could practice diaper changes and such.

I'm sure some of the girls opted for homeschool but that certainly wasn't because they weren't accepted. As far as I know, those pregnant classmates are generally doing fine now, 20 years later.

this is why we need to bring back shame. There is no reason for a teenager to get pregnant these days.

SHAME?

When did shame become a form a birth control?

I'm Asian and honestly think some non-Asian Americans could use some shame. Stigma can be purposeful for keeping young people on the straight and narrow. There's a reason why Asians don't have many of the social problems that plague other races.

You must have never been to Thailand before.

I’m Thai and find this statement highly insulting. Teen pregnancies amongst educated, middle/upper middle class girls are almost unheard of because being proper and well behaved is expected. If you’re talking rural village girls, that’s an entirely different thing. And all the girls in the sex trade are rural village girls.

NP here. It's okay to say non-Asian Americans could use some shame, but not okay to in turn point out the Asian cultures where the sex trade and sexual exploitation are rampant. Double standard much? It's not just in Thailand- look at the girls working the massage parlors (hint- they're mostly Asian). Just saying there is plenty of shame to go around all races/cultures where promiscuity and sexual misconduct are concerned. Asians aren't excluded. To suggest otherwise, then be insulted by PP's comment is ignorant and racist.

YOU sound ignorant and racist. You don’t know ANYTHING about the culture. Girls that end up in the sex trade come from poverty. There is plenty of shame in it, but I can garuntee that the majority of them end up in these situations because they have very little options. Most rural children drop out of school by 8th grade to work. Some girls go to the city to work as maids (my uncle at one point had a 15 year old village girl working for him). Many of them get tricked into prostitution. UGH. I hate that Thailand and Thai women have such a terrible reputation, and that the country isn’t really doing anything about it, but you can’t go around making blanket statements about a country and it’s people without knowing anything about it. THAT is racist and ignorant.

Some Americans are just jelly of Asian American success tho. That's what I'm seeing.

Sure some Asians might work in parlors or nail salons - but I can guarantee their American kids aren't in that line of work. It's because Asian cultures place a high value on education and yes conforminity. Some teen parents might become successful but there's no denying that having children at a young age or out of wedlock holds people back. Both of these things are considered acceptable by Americans but abhorrent to Asians.

[Anonymous]

High school friend had her first over Thanksgiving her senior year. She was off until New Years, finished and graduated. She married the father, they are still married today (20 years later), her first is in college, #2 is 10, #3 is 7.

My cousin (first cousin) had her first at 17, put it up for adoption. She's gone on to have 5 more children with 4 other men (the youngest is 1). She became a grandmother 3 years ago around the age of 39 via the adopted daughter (who found her shortly after she gave birth).

She's a disaster in general, my aunt/uncle don't talk to her at all, her last baby daddy has custody of the youngest one, I think she see's him on occasion. Not sure of the custody situation with the older ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10 pages of comments but we are still only talking about girls here. No one talking about boys who became fathers as teenagers? Maybe once we see this as an issue that involves both sexes we can.prevent more teen pregnancy. Right now, it still seems that the shame, like the child, is solely a female burden....

Yup. Apparently it's literally true about girls getting themselves pregnant. All by themselves, nobody else involved.

I had a baby right before turning 15 and a second right after turning 18. Same father. He is 2 years older than me. I lived with him and his mom. He was very involved (and still is).

You are one of the very few who answered for yourself! (So many are talking about a friend of a friend or something..)

Did you go on to finish high school and college? Did you have more kids later on when you were older? How old are your kids now? Do you feel good about your relationship with them?

When I think back to myself at that age, I feel like if I had kids at that age, I'd be prone to bursts of temper because of all the repressed anger I had towards my parents (I still am prone to this sometimes but much less) Was it terribly difficult, emotionally, to be a mom so young?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10 pages of comments but we are still only talking about girls here. No one talking about boys who became fathers as teenagers? Maybe once we see this as an issue that involves both sexes we can.prevent more teen pregnancy. Right now, it still seems that the shame, like the child, is solely a female burden....

Yup. Apparently it's literally true about girls getting themselves pregnant. All by themselves, nobody else involved.

I had a baby right before turning 15 and a second right after turning 18. Same father. He is 2 years older than me. I lived with him and his mom. He was very involved (and still is).

You are one of the very few who answered for yourself! (So many are talking about a friend of a friend or something..)

Did you go on to finish high school and college? Did you have more kids later on when you were older? How old are your kids now? Do you feel good about your relationship with them?

When I think back to myself at that age, I feel like if I had kids at that age, I'd be prone to bursts of temper because of all the repressed anger I had towards my parents (I still am prone to this sometimes but much less) Was it terribly difficult, emotionally, to be a mom so young?

That's a lot of questions. Yes, I finished high school. Yes, I went to college. Yes, I had more kids in my late 20's. They are early and mid 20's and middle school now. Yes, I love our relationships now? My childhood in and of itself was difficult, so having kids as a teenager was just ... life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my daughter when I was 17. In hindsight, it was a difficult experience, it changed the trajectory of my life and it made me have to grow up super fast. Also fun? Killed my relationship with my parents and I got to learn very quickly how useless and terrible my boyfriend was.

That's the bad.

Now, the good. When I decided to have my daughter, I made a point to spend the entire pregnancy getting myself in a place to support my daughter and myself. I got my GED quickly. I enrolled in a speedy LPN program, and by the time my daughter was three months old, I got two full time jobs. I worked my ass off, I hustled for support including working nights and weekends so I could do as much childcare as possible. My mother had a hard time with things, but saw the changes in me and fell in love with my daughter.

I eventually cut one job down and enrolled in a RN program at NOVA. I finished it and was able to get an even better job. that paid for my BSN. I kept working, kept saving because my dream was to afford a home by the time DD turned 5 (before K). Thanks to the housing crisis, I was able to get afford a small townhouse that fed into an excellent pyramid. I still worked at the hospital and picked up extra shifts here and there to pay for things, but I've been independently supporting us for the past 10 years. My mother and father are still involved and around, but it isn't the pattern of grandma turning into mom. I'm the mother.

Now the amazing. DD is an amazing young woman. She's curious. She's funny. She's talented and kind and a bit shy. She is such a joy and parenting has been one of the hardest but worthy things I've ever done.

She's in high school now and I'm looking at an empty nest and it's strange because I'm so young. I could have another child, but I don't see that happening. I'd like to get my master's at some point, maybe become an NP. I'd like to travel.

Your responsibility and grit is apparent. You sound like a loving and inspirational mom and I’m sure your daughter appreciates it all. I had a teen mom, but my own child after 5 years of marriage and I didn’t fully appreciate it all until that happened.