Does your wife make more than you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We got close at one point with DH slightly ahead. Then I popped to about 400K and had the lead. Not too long after, however, DH went from the mid-100's (which is where we both had been when we were close) to the low seven figures. I will always wonder whether his massively competitive nature drove the big jump.

He cooks more and does the bulk of the drop offs and all of the sports but I take care of all of the organizational needs so we are pretty close with respect to the household chore load and have been so since the very beginning.

This is CLASSIC. Thanks for letting everybody know how rich you are. Does it make you feel better?

No kidding. "Oh no you didn't go and make $400k! Ima go out and make a cool mil now..."

Exactly. She also doesn’t even bother trying to answer the OP’s actual question. Just wants to brag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I find most amusing about this thread is that so many responders loooove reporting that they make big salaries -- when nobody asked. All that was asked was whether there are other wives who make more money than their husbands. Nobody asked for specifics, but everybody loooves to share them! DCUM has to attract the most insecure moms and dads on the planet.

But, what the heck. I'll play. When I was working I made more than twice as much as the highest salary disclosed on this thread and my wife never made anything. And neither one of us cared because everything we have belongs to both of us. Now our children are grown and gone, and in every case the women are making more money than the men. And none of their husbands care either.
Married couples who keep score over who earns how much are very sad.

Given the question, I struggle to understand why you posted on this thread - except to brag who much you made...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a profound difference between, on the one hand, a marriage where the husband is making enough to support the family and the wife simply makes more (scenario #1), and on the other hand, a marriage where the husband makes an insufficient amount to support the family and the wife is the primary or sole breadwinner (scenario #2).

I personally make significantly more than my wife and always have. But I would welcome scenario #1 and be uncomfortable and inadequate in scenario #2.

Maybe that makes me old-fashioned and outdated. Okay.

Why do you keep using the phrase "support the family" only with respect to a husband's earnings? I also don't understand why the distinction is meaningful between your two scenarios. In all couples, there may be one making all or most of the money to support the family. Or they may be earning roughly equal amounts. It may have some bearing on which partner is the default parent and is responsible for household management but not much else.

I am just speaking from my own perspective as a husband and father who feels that he has various obligations to his family. For me, personally, the distinction between the 2 scenarios is simply whether I would *feel* I was living up to those obligations, and how I would *feel* about being the husband in both scenarios. I would *feel* uncomfortable and inadequate if I didn't make enough to support the family. It's one of the obligations that I *feel* that I have. If my wife makes more or less than I do is irrelevant to whether I am fulfilling the obligations that I *feel* that I have.

I (the higher earning wife in our house) feel this way too, except I would say irresponsible rather than inadequate (there’s probably a whole gender studies thesis to be written there). I would feel irresponsible and anxious if I didn’t make enough to support my family. (And this is not a knock on stay at home parents - if I stayed home I would make sure we to have life insurance and plans B and C ready to go in case something happened to my partner. That’s being responsible.)

Of course the issue in this case is the individual not earning some minimum amount. It has nothing to do with what the partner is earning. Presumably you wold still feel inadequate if you didn’t make enough to support your family and your wife made even less.

[Anonymous]

I make almost twice what my husband makes. When we met he was a grad student and then he was a post-doc and made very little. I was partner track at my consulting firm.

I have since taken a mommy track role and he has found a career he loves. He makes more than I ever though he would. I make less than we imagined I would. Together it has worked out well. I anticipate his career will continue to grow, although within the GS scale. I will step back more or switch jobs. Overall I think the total income as a household will stay steady, but overtime who contributes it will shift.

No impact on my marriage. He is not materialistic at all, barely spends money.