MIL not coming for Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's wrong but so are you. You should've let her cook the turkey, and she should've asked. You're both being unreasonable IMO.

it's her house - if she doesn't want turkey giblets all over her counters that's her choice. MIL should have weighed the benefits of seeing her son, DIL and grandchild over the chance to prep a turkey. It's unfortunate that her husband isn't supporting her on this, but it sounds like the discussion never even came up until after MIL made the decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL sounds immature. But OP, I don't get why you changed the tradition of who you planned to visit this year. Are you still sticking with your plan to visit your parents for Xmas?

And is this a one-off, we're not traveling to see MIL because DH is on call or something? It seems mean to change your plans with her just because she doesn't have a DH in the picture.

Sorry, I see your response that you literally just posted making it clear this isn't an annual tradition that was changed without explanation.

No I didn't just change it without explanation. If you reread my OP, I start off by saying we alternate whose family we visit with on Thanksgiving and Christmas. And there were no firm plans to visit her at her house. That's what DH was supposed to do, make the plans of where to visit, and he invited her to our house. He didn't want to drive there just as much as me.

PP here, and I saw your follow-up explaining that you didn't unilaterally change the plans. When you said you alternated every year, I read it as one year you go to your family of origin's for Xmas and MIL's for Thanksgiving, and vice versa the year after, but your follow-up made clear that wasn't the case. Got it and I support you, OP! Any update on DH?

Thank you PP. No update on DH. I told him it hurt my feelings that he was blaming it on me. Anyway, I don't plan on bringing this up to him again, and I told him he should invite her for New Years weekend but he said she'll probably want to spend it with her BF.

Sorry, PP. I hope things blow over and you and your family have a nice Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL sounds immature. But OP, I don't get why you changed the tradition of who you planned to visit this year. Are you still sticking with your plan to visit your parents for Xmas?

And is this a one-off, we're not traveling to see MIL because DH is on call or something? It seems mean to change your plans with her just because she doesn't have a DH in the picture.

Sorry, I see your response that you literally just posted making it clear this isn't an annual tradition that was changed without explanation.

No I didn't just change it without explanation. If you reread my OP, I start off by saying we alternate whose family we visit with on Thanksgiving and Christmas. And there were no firm plans to visit her at her house. That's what DH was supposed to do, make the plans of where to visit, and he invited her to our house. He didn't want to drive there just as much as me.

PP here, and I saw your follow-up explaining that you didn't unilaterally change the plans. When you said you alternated every year, I read it as one year you go to your family of origin's for Xmas and MIL's for Thanksgiving, and vice versa the year after, but your follow-up made clear that wasn't the case. Got it and I support you, OP! Any update on DH?

Thank you PP. No update on DH. I told him it hurt my feelings that he was blaming it on me. Anyway, I don't plan on bringing this up to him again, and I told him he should invite her for New Years weekend but he said she'll probably want to spend it with her BF.

Sorry, PP. I hope things blow over and you and your family have a nice Thanksgiving.

Oops, meant OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 20 years when MIL is dead, I hope you look back with pride at how you ruined Thanksgiving because cooking a bird is not allowed in your house, but an already dead and cooked one is.

I would hope that an uncooked turkey is already dead as well

[Anonymous]

Rule of thumb: The person boycotting a holiday invite because of the wrong kind of turkey is in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's wrong but so are you. You should've let her cook the turkey, and she should've asked. You're both being unreasonable IMO.

it's her house - if she doesn't want turkey giblets all over her counters that's her choice. MIL should have weighed the benefits of seeing her son, DIL and grandchild over the chance to prep a turkey. It's unfortunate that her husband isn't supporting her on this, but it sounds like the discussion never even came up until after MIL made the decision.

The turkey doesn't have to touch the counter. I'm a vegetarian so I get her not wanting to cook it. I put a cookie sheet in the sink to keep it off the bottom, rinse and dry in the sink and directly to the pan. Then scrub the sink really well. Use gloves when touching the turkey. I don't care how it tastes.

[jsteele]

Locking per OP’s request.