At what point does a favor become a burden?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, at least I understand why so many on DCUM are crying that they don't have any friends.

NP. Not sure which you are referring to - OP or the mom of twins. I suspect you are accusing the OP of being ungenerous, but I'd like to point out it goes both ways. Entitled people who expect people to provide services for them in the name of friendship without showing gratitude or consideration lose friends fast.

I think OP was very nice and generous for helping for a month and it is definitely beyond her duty as a friend and neighbor. Time to communicate that she needs to find other arrangements, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, at least I understand why so many on DCUM are crying that they don't have any friends.

I would much rather have OP than the user twin mom as my friend.

WE ARE ALL USERS 3 weeks after giving birth. We have every right to be, that shit is HARD. I've seen half of you swear all you did in the newborn stage was lay on the couch and snuggle and eat and breastfeed so knock it off acting like you've never needed help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, at least I understand why so many on DCUM are crying that they don't have any friends.

I would much rather have OP than the user twin mom as my friend.

+1

Also, where is the Twin's dad in all of this??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, at least I understand why so many on DCUM are crying that they don't have any friends.

I would much rather have OP than the user twin mom as my friend.

WE ARE ALL USERS 3 weeks after giving birth. We have every right to be, that shit is HARD. I've seen half of you swear all you did in the newborn stage was lay on the couch and snuggle and eat and breastfeed so knock it off acting like you've never needed help.

sorry i was not a user. it was just my husband and me, no other help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, at least I understand why so many on DCUM are crying that they don't have any friends.

I would much rather have OP than the user twin mom as my friend.

WE ARE ALL USERS 3 weeks after giving birth. We have every right to be, that shit is HARD. I've seen half of you swear all you did in the newborn stage was lay on the couch and snuggle and eat and breastfeed so knock it off acting like you've never needed help.

sorry i was not a user. it was just my husband and me, no other help.

Your husband helped plenty I'm sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, and wow, this really took off.

To clear some things up:
-It will be a month this week I’ve been doing this.
-We drive because we are in a gated community and the bus picks up at the front.
-We could walk, but I head right to work. I don’t have time to walk back.
-Yes, it takes an extra 10 minutes because I don’t want to be late for any reason and then have to drive them all to school. I’ve been allowing extra time in case someone is running behind.

This just doesn't seem like a big deal to me and it's no doubt a huge help to her. Are her kids routinely late? Do they bring food and leave your car a mess? Are they rude to you or your kids? If not, just suck it up and help her out. It sounds like you don't have to leave 10 minutes earlier, that is just your preference.

I agree. I can't believe no one else picked up on the fact that OP doesn't have to take those 10 extra minutes she's complaining about but that she is deciding to leave 10 minutes early just in case someone happens to be running late.

OP, tell your neighbor that you have to leave for the bus at 7.30 and that you can't be late. If her kids aren't outside at 7.30, she'll have to find another way that day.

This is OP. Look, I leave 10 minutes earlier than usual because I can’t afford to be late to work. With the bus schedule, I barely make it as it is. If someone I can’t find a shoe, or is still stuffing papers in backpacks, or whatever, I can’t afford to miss the bus and drive them all to school. I just can’t. So I make sure we are collected and at the stop early enough. That’s *my* schedule. It’s what I have to do to ensure I make it to work on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, at least I understand why so many on DCUM are crying that they don't have any friends.

I would much rather have OP than the user twin mom as my friend.

WE ARE ALL USERS 3 weeks after giving birth. We have every right to be, that shit is HARD. I've seen half of you swear all you did in the newborn stage was lay on the couch and snuggle and eat and breastfeed so knock it off acting like you've never needed help.

sorry i was not a user. it was just my husband and me, no other help.

Your husband helped plenty I'm sure

yes he did. note that this was my husband,, not my next door neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, and wow, this really took off.

To clear some things up:
-It will be a month this week I’ve been doing this.
-We drive because we are in a gated community and the bus picks up at the front.
-We could walk, but I head right to work. I don’t have time to walk back.
-Yes, it takes an extra 10 minutes because I don’t want to be late for any reason and then have to drive them all to school. I’ve been allowing extra time in case someone is running behind.

This just doesn't seem like a big deal to me and it's no doubt a huge help to her. Are her kids routinely late? Do they bring food and leave your car a mess? Are they rude to you or your kids? If not, just suck it up and help her out. It sounds like you don't have to leave 10 minutes earlier, that is just your preference.

I agree. I can't believe no one else picked up on the fact that OP doesn't have to take those 10 extra minutes she's complaining about but that she is deciding to leave 10 minutes early just in case someone happens to be running late.

OP, tell your neighbor that you have to leave for the bus at 7.30 and that you can't be late. If her kids aren't outside at 7.30, she'll have to find another way that day.

This is OP. Look, I leave 10 minutes earlier than usual because I can’t afford to be late to work. With the bus schedule, I barely make it as it is. If someone I can’t find a shoe, or is still stuffing papers in backpacks, or whatever, I can’t afford to miss the bus and drive them all to school. I just can’t. So I make sure we are collected and at the stop early enough. That’s *my* schedule. It’s what I have to do to ensure I make it to work on time.

That makes sense. Consider telling her your maxed out.

[Anonymous]

Why does this fall on the moms? Why can't the 2nd parent in either family help with this? Op, I wouldn't fault you one bit for letting the other mom know you only have another week or whatever before your schedule changes. You've helped out a lot already and this general tendency of so many moms to do it all (or risk being called a selfish b*tch!) needs to end. It's unfair!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, and wow, this really took off.

To clear some things up:
-It will be a month this week I’ve been doing this.
-We drive because we are in a gated community and the bus picks up at the front.
-We could walk, but I head right to work. I don’t have time to walk back.
-Yes, it takes an extra 10 minutes because I don’t want to be late for any reason and then have to drive them all to school. I’ve been allowing extra time in case someone is running behind.

This just doesn't seem like a big deal to me and it's no doubt a huge help to her. Are her kids routinely late? Do they bring food and leave your car a mess? Are they rude to you or your kids? If not, just suck it up and help her out. It sounds like you don't have to leave 10 minutes earlier, that is just your preference.

I agree. I can't believe no one else picked up on the fact that OP doesn't have to take those 10 extra minutes she's complaining about but that she is deciding to leave 10 minutes early just in case someone happens to be running late.

OP, tell your neighbor that you have to leave for the bus at 7.30 and that you can't be late. If her kids aren't outside at 7.30, she'll have to find another way that day.

This is OP. Look, I leave 10 minutes earlier than usual because I can’t afford to be late to work. With the bus schedule, I barely make it as it is. If someone I can’t find a shoe, or is still stuffing papers in backpacks, or whatever, I can’t afford to miss the bus and drive them all to school. I just can’t. So I make sure we are collected and at the stop early enough. That’s *my* schedule. It’s what I have to do to ensure I make it to work on time.

That makes sense. Consider telling her your maxed out.

Thank you.

I should add, I’d rather have time to spare and be early, than to show up with no time to spare and kids not ready, leaving her high and dry; no way she would have time to load the car and make it to the bus then. She’d be driving them to school. I allow the extra time because I made an agreement, I won’t leave her having to take them to school, and I don’t have time to drive to the school.

[Anonymous]

This thread is full if crazy people. My neighbor brought me a lasagna when my children were born and I thought that was so kind and generous. Never in a million years would I ask/expect them to do what OP is doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is full if crazy people. My neighbor brought me a lasagna when my children were born and I thought that was so kind and generous. Never in a million years would I ask/expect them to do what OP is doing.

But you didn’t have TWINNNNS! That makes you a non-newborn-parent on this thread! You have no clue what parenting TWINNNS is like! Don’t you know? TWINNN Parents have it harder than anyone! Nobody planned for TWINNNS, don’t have know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, and wow, this really took off.

To clear some things up:
-It will be a month this week I’ve been doing this.
-We drive because we are in a gated community and the bus picks up at the front.
-We could walk, but I head right to work. I don’t have time to walk back.
-Yes, it takes an extra 10 minutes because I don’t want to be late for any reason and then have to drive them all to school. I’ve been allowing extra time in case someone is running behind.

This just doesn't seem like a big deal to me and it's no doubt a huge help to her. Are her kids routinely late? Do they bring food and leave your car a mess? Are they rude to you or your kids? If not, just suck it up and help her out. It sounds like you don't have to leave 10 minutes earlier, that is just your preference.

I agree. I can't believe no one else picked up on the fact that OP doesn't have to take those 10 extra minutes she's complaining about but that she is deciding to leave 10 minutes early just in case someone happens to be running late.

OP, tell your neighbor that you have to leave for the bus at 7.30 and that you can't be late. If her kids aren't outside at 7.30, she'll have to find another way that day.

This is OP. Look, I leave 10 minutes earlier than usual because I can’t afford to be late to work. With the bus schedule, I barely make it as it is. If someone I can’t find a shoe, or is still stuffing papers in backpacks, or whatever, I can’t afford to miss the bus and drive them all to school. I just can’t. So I make sure we are collected and at the stop early enough. That’s *my* schedule. It’s what I have to do to ensure I make it to work on time.

So you leave early for your own kids anyway? Are the other kids late ever? I think it would be fine for you to say you can't wait around for the kids if they are late and their mom will just have to drive them. But really, 10 minutes is such a very small thing. If that is all that is making you feel put out, you need to relax.

And surely things can happen on your own commute that could cause you to be late. Do you have this much anxiety about that too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Why does this fall on the moms? Why can't the 2nd parent in either family help with this? Op, I wouldn't fault you one bit for letting the other mom know you only have another week or whatever before your schedule changes. You've helped out a lot already and this general tendency of so many moms to do it all (or risk being called a selfish b*tch!) needs to end. It's unfair!

+1000000! Women get bogged down with crap like this all the time.

[Anonymous]

If you're feeling resentful, it's time to stop.