Spendthrift DH

[Anonymous]

For all of you who say OP should just funnel money to investment vehicles immediately upon arrival in the account and leave the rest of the spending -

Don't forget that credit cards can quickly blow up this plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all of you who say OP should just funnel money to investment vehicles immediately upon arrival in the account and leave the rest of the spending -

Don't forget that credit cards can quickly blow up this plan.

She plans on taking them away and giving him an allowance.

[Anonymous]

I am a saver, DH is a spender. He came from deep poverty and so every dollar that isn't used to pay for the turned-off electric bill feels to him like a gift that should be spent QUICK. We've struggled with the issue a lot over our 10 plus years of marriage, and what has finally taken the struggle and stress out of the issue is YNAB, as a PP mentioned. Your DH does have to agree to actually use it, and for us it went along with a decision that he simply can't have a credit card, and if he gets an uncontrollable itch to buy something on installment (which he used to do all the time) he will instead come to me and talk about it, and the chances are good we'll find a way to buy it without resorting to credit. What YNAB forces you to do is say "Oh, okay, if I want those new pants I can have them, sure. But I'll have to take the money from the grocery bucket this week. Thats okay - we'll just eat leftovers. I want the pants more." It makes you look at your choices, instead of ignoring them. Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of you who say OP should just funnel money to investment vehicles immediately upon arrival in the account and leave the rest of the spending -

Don't forget that credit cards can quickly blow up this plan.

She plans on taking them away and giving him an allowance.

Yep as part of her retraining program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all of you who say OP should just funnel money to investment vehicles immediately upon arrival in the account and leave the rest of the spending -

Don't forget that credit cards can quickly blow up this plan.

So cancel them and switch to debit only, what's the big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of you who say OP should just funnel money to investment vehicles immediately upon arrival in the account and leave the rest of the spending -

Don't forget that credit cards can quickly blow up this plan.

She plans on taking them away and giving him an allowance.

Yep as part of her retraining program.

Shock collar triggered by credit card use

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm curious. Would a separate account for him to spend out of work, or not? If not then why?

OP here, a separate account won't really address the problem of his overspending on credit cards every time he, for instance, talks to his mother and she whips him up into a frenzy about the latest gadget that he just must have. I am going with the pocket money approach. I discussed this with him last night and he loved the idea. He wants to live a frugal, disciplined life. He just has a terrible time making the day to day decisions that go with that, especially when he is under pressure from his family to jump into debt.

I see some people posting out of hurt feelings because they feel I have maligned American culture and white people. I started to type a post to address this at length, but then I realized that I don't care. Just get over it and stop trying to fight with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a saver, DH is a spender. He came from deep poverty and so every dollar that isn't used to pay for the turned-off electric bill feels to him like a gift that should be spent QUICK. We've struggled with the issue a lot over our 10 plus years of marriage, and what has finally taken the struggle and stress out of the issue is YNAB, as a PP mentioned. Your DH does have to agree to actually use it, and for us it went along with a decision that he simply can't have a credit card, and if he gets an uncontrollable itch to buy something on installment (which he used to do all the time) he will instead come to me and talk about it, and the chances are good we'll find a way to buy it without resorting to credit. What YNAB forces you to do is say "Oh, okay, if I want those new pants I can have them, sure. But I'll have to take the money from the grocery bucket this week. Thats okay - we'll just eat leftovers. I want the pants more." It makes you look at your choices, instead of ignoring them. Good luck, OP!

OP here, thank you! YNAB looks like a great program to use. I hope it works for us and I will definitely give it a try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm curious. Would a separate account for him to spend out of work, or not? If not then why?

OP here, a separate account won't really address the problem of his overspending on credit cards every time he, for instance, talks to his mother and she whips him up into a frenzy about the latest gadget that he just must have. I am going with the pocket money approach. I discussed this with him last night and he loved the idea. He wants to live a frugal, disciplined life. He just has a terrible time making the day to day decisions that go with that, especially when he is under pressure from his family to jump into debt.

I see some people posting out of hurt feelings because they feel I have maligned American culture and white people. I started to type a post to address this at length, but then I realized that I don't care. Just get over it and stop trying to fight with me.

Why do you think they are hurt, maybe they just think you are a bitch. And no one has to be quiet just because you tell them to. You can't train the adults here like you are trying to train your husband. Get over that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm curious. Would a separate account for him to spend out of work, or not? If not then why?

OP here, a separate account won't really address the problem of his overspending on credit cards every time he, for instance, talks to his mother and she whips him up into a frenzy about the latest gadget that he just must have. I am going with the pocket money approach. I discussed this with him last night and he loved the idea. He wants to live a frugal, disciplined life. He just has a terrible time making the day to day decisions that go with that, especially when he is under pressure from his family to jump into debt.

I see some people posting out of hurt feelings because they feel I have maligned American culture and white people. I started to type a post to address this at length, but then I realized that I don't care. Just get over it and stop trying to fight with me.

Why do you think they are hurt, maybe they just think you are a bitch. And no one has to be quiet just because you tell them to. You can't train the adults here like you are trying to train your husband. Get over that.

OP here, so what? You are just a faceless jerk on the internet. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm curious. Would a separate account for him to spend out of work, or not? If not then why?

OP here, a separate account won't really address the problem of his overspending on credit cards every time he, for instance, talks to his mother and she whips him up into a frenzy about the latest gadget that he just must have. I am going with the pocket money approach. I discussed this with him last night and he loved the idea. He wants to live a frugal, disciplined life. He just has a terrible time making the day to day decisions that go with that, especially when he is under pressure from his family to jump into debt.

I see some people posting out of hurt feelings because they feel I have maligned American culture and white people. I started to type a post to address this at length, but then I realized that I don't care. Just get over it and stop trying to fight with me.

Why do you think they are hurt, maybe they just think you are a bitch. And no one has to be quiet just because you tell them to. You can't train the adults here like you are trying to train your husband. Get over that.

OP here, so what? You are just a faceless jerk on the internet. Move on.

You are the one complaining about people who don't agree with you. Thats what happens when you post in a public place. Take the advice you want and get over the rest.

[Anonymous]

So you think people imagined the fact you criticized "the American values?" let us see.

Anonymous wrote: Building wealth is very important to me, as are goals such as being able to pay for my children's college and retiring with a nice, fully paid off house. DH's family are white Americans who think that there is nothing wrong with a debt-funded "American dream."

Anonymous wrote:My African friends have the same kind of set up -- the husband's paycheck goes straight to the wife's account. I don't know why Americans find this so extreme.

Anonymous wrote:I am just smarter, more careful, and more disciplined than perhaps the average American.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it is a gross generalization to say that the impulse of Americans under age 75 is to spend while the impulse of most Asians is to save.

Anonymous wrote: I had never had brand new clothes until I moved to the US in my teens. Many Americans live on the brink, but have not experienced what life is like when one has truly fallen to the bottom.

Anonymous wrote: Most people don't spend the way that pampered Americans and Europeans do. Most of my friends are African (straight from the continent) because those people really know how to conserve resources and live wisely. I have a Ghanaian girlfriend who always looks as if she stepped out of a magazine. Pencil thin with amazing clothes. She makes all of her own stuff and spends very little on clothes. American fashionistas, in comparison, are often deep in debt or rely on their parents' money.

Yep, this is all about faceless jerks on the internet. This has absolutely nothing to do with you and the way you choose to express yourself. Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm curious. Would a separate account for him to spend out of work, or not? If not then why?

OP here, a separate account won't really address the problem of his overspending on credit cards every time he, for instance, talks to his mother and she whips him up into a frenzy about the latest gadget that he just must have. I am going with the pocket money approach. I discussed this with him last night and he loved the idea. He wants to live a frugal, disciplined life. He just has a terrible time making the day to day decisions that go with that, especially when he is under pressure from his family to jump into debt.

I see some people posting out of hurt feelings because they feel I have maligned American culture and white people. I started to type a post to address this at length, but then I realized that I don't care. Just get over it and stop trying to fight with me.

Why do you think they are hurt, maybe they just think you are a bitch. And no one has to be quiet just because you tell them to. You can't train the adults here like you are trying to train your husband. Get over that.

OP here, so what? You are just a faceless jerk on the internet. Move on.

And you are? A misunderstood soul looking for comfort?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you think people imagined the fact you criticized "the American values?" let us see.

Anonymous wrote: Building wealth is very important to me, as are goals such as being able to pay for my children's college and retiring with a nice, fully paid off house. DH's family are white Americans who think that there is nothing wrong with a debt-funded "American dream."

Anonymous wrote:My African friends have the same kind of set up -- the husband's paycheck goes straight to the wife's account. I don't know why Americans find this so extreme.

Anonymous wrote:I am just smarter, more careful, and more disciplined than perhaps the average American.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it is a gross generalization to say that the impulse of Americans under age 75 is to spend while the impulse of most Asians is to save.

Anonymous wrote: I had never had brand new clothes until I moved to the US in my teens. Many Americans live on the brink, but have not experienced what life is like when one has truly fallen to the bottom.

Anonymous wrote: Most people don't spend the way that pampered Americans and Europeans do. Most of my friends are African (straight from the continent) because those people really know how to conserve resources and live wisely. I have a Ghanaian girlfriend who always looks as if she stepped out of a magazine. Pencil thin with amazing clothes. She makes all of her own stuff and spends very little on clothes. American fashionistas, in comparison, are often deep in debt or rely on their parents' money.

Yep, this is all about faceless jerks on the internet. This has absolutely nothing to do with you and the way you choose to express yourself. Yep.

OP here, you probably don't mean to flatter me, but I am actually honored nonetheless. I know that parsing this thread for my quotes and collecting them as you have must have been time consuming.

[Anonymous]

OP if you feel honored by that then you need to get some hobbies. Besides building wealth and controlling and infantilizing your DH.