Why so much hate for the OW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not her fault your man cheated on you. In fact she's just a physical being that could be anyone. He cheated because he's a selfish ass or because you pushed him away. Most times the ow is just as hurt when the relationship ends. Fix yourself and your relationship.

Because it's easier to hate the OW/OM rather than recognizing that the person who was supposed to love you, cherish you, see you through hard times is a POS who can't keep it in his pants or keep her legs closed.

That said, I don't give affair partners a free pass, yet to me the biggest responsibility is always on the married person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not her fault your man cheated on you. In fact she's just a physical being that could be anyone. He cheated because he's a selfish ass or because you pushed him away. Most times the ow is just as hurt when the relationship ends. Fix yourself and your relationship.

Because it's easier to hate the OW/OM rather than recognizing that the person who was supposed to love you, cherish you, see you through hard times is a POS who can't keep it in his pants or keep her legs closed.

That said, I don't give affair partners a free pass, yet to me the biggest responsibility is always on the married person.

Make no mistake - it's also easier for the "other woman" to justify her unconscionable behavior by demonizing the wife - a woman who, in most cases she doesn't even know - as if she "deserves" it. (Witness this masterful piece of nonsense to which you responded, PP.) It's just easier to believe the sob story of the married man she is screwing than to use critical thinking skills or admit that she doesn't have the integrity to send him packing. Both parties in these scenarios are total losers, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^Okay, thanks for the unsolicited advice.

Now go direct your smarty pants thinking to the moral relativists trying to justify sleeping with a married man, why don't you?

NP. The PP is not the only one who finds your posts to be nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, the sad OW here can't take it when somebody calls them out for what they are and cries to Jeff, huh?

I think the sad fact is you can't face the truth of your moral bankruptcy. You are not victims, ladies - you are homewreckers.

The people you were screaming at are not homewreckers. At least I wasn't. I just thought you were being totally crazy.

This thread, painting women who sleep with married men as some kind of victims, is what's crazy. The illogical rationalizing of immoral and socially unacceptable behavior is crazy.

The answer to OP's original question is simple - because, if you knowingly sleep with a married man, you deserve all the hate that gets thrown your way.

I think so too - being on OW is a choice. It is not a shield from contempt over that choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^Okay, thanks for the unsolicited advice.

Now go direct your smarty pants thinking to the moral relativists trying to justify sleeping with a married man, why don't you?

NP. The PP is not the only one who finds your posts to be nuts.

Amen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do judge the OW when a man leaves his wife and children for her. Then she does have some accountability.

Why would a wife want a husband who wants to be with someone else? This is what I don't get. Some women have zero self-worth, then complain that their men don't want them.

I am not clear on OW's accountablity here. All three are adults capable of making their choices.

Except because it's done in secret, only DH and OW actually have free will choices. That's why it's so offensive to me. The wife doesn't get to choose. Yes, I get that the husband and wife have an obligation to treat each other well. This is obvious: if the husband doesn't feel treated well, it's in the OPEN. That is, it's not a secret. He has every right to negotiate better treatment. When is that courtesy extended to DW? It's extended to the OW who can decide and weigh in on getting involved. That's why the OW doesn't quite avoid full responsibility. She is at least afforded the option of choices, with access to the full view (I don't buy getting innocently deceived - if you don't know friends and family and haven't been to his place, you shouldn't be sleeping with him)

Single/available people hook up all the time for flings w/o ever meeting friends, relatives, etc. It just never gets that deep for them even though they have sex. That may not be a choice that you or I would make but that doesn't mean that they are "wrong" for having their fling. But if one of those people lies about their own marital status that is just plain deceptive and wrong. A person might agree to have sex with another single/available person but would never knowingly have sex with a married person. I suppose if the person could betray his/her own spouse it is not that surprising that they could dupe their lover as well. While I think that most affair partners know darned well that they are sleeping with a married/taken person, I can see how some might be duped into believing that their married partner is single.

PP makes excellent points regarding lying and sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do judge the OW when a man leaves his wife and children for her. Then she does have some accountability.

Why would a wife want a husband who wants to be with someone else? This is what I don't get. Some women have zero self-worth, then complain that their men don't want them.

I am not clear on OW's accountablity here. All three are adults capable of making their choices.

Except because it's done in secret, only DH and OW actually have free will choices. That's why it's so offensive to me. The wife doesn't get to choose. Yes, I get that the husband and wife have an obligation to treat each other well. This is obvious: if the husband doesn't feel treated well, it's in the OPEN. That is, it's not a secret. He has every right to negotiate better treatment. When is that courtesy extended to DW? It's extended to the OW who can decide and weigh in on getting involved. That's why the OW doesn't quite avoid full responsibility. She is at least afforded the option of choices, with access to the full view (I don't buy getting innocently deceived - if you don't know friends and family and haven't been to his place, you shouldn't be sleeping with him)

Single/available people hook up all the time for flings w/o ever meeting friends, relatives, etc. It just never gets that deep for them even though they have sex. That may not be a choice that you or I would make but that doesn't mean that they are "wrong" for having their fling. But if one of those people lies about their own marital status that is just plain deceptive and wrong. A person might agree to have sex with another single/available person but would never knowingly have sex with a married person. I suppose if the person could betray his/her own spouse it is not that surprising that they could dupe their lover as well. While I think that most affair partners know darned well that they are sleeping with a married/taken person, I can see how some might be duped into believing that their married partner is single.

PP makes excellent points regarding lying and sex.

Great - some women are lied to by married men, and no one is disputing that. The OP of this thread, if you read her post, is obviously a guilty OW trying to deflect blame and responsibility from herself for acting like a tramp. She doesn't and shouldn't get a pass from any self-respecting woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^Okay, thanks for the unsolicited advice.

Now go direct your smarty pants thinking to the moral relativists trying to justify sleeping with a married man, why don't you?

NP. The PP is not the only one who finds your posts to be nuts.

Amen.

Oh yes, having morals and personal integrity is nuts and women who knowingly sleep with married men are victims.

[Anonymous]

My OW was a friend and played me for years. I had no clue, neither did her exH. I hate her passionately for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My OW was a friend and played me for years. I had no clue, neither did her exH. I hate her passionately for this.

I'm sorry. You have every right to be upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My OW was a friend and played me for years. I had no clue, neither did her exH. I hate her passionately for this.

And really, who could blame you?

Maybe women like OP, who would come up with some lame-ass line about how the whole thing is really your fault for driving him away. I'm sure your ex "friend" engages in these pathetic rationalizations too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not her fault your man cheated on you. In fact she's just a physical being that could be anyone. He cheated because he's a selfish ass or because you pushed him away. Most times the ow is just as hurt when the relationship ends. Fix yourself and your relationship.

Because it's easier to hate the OW/OM rather than recognizing that the person who was supposed to love you, cherish you, see you through hard times is a POS who can't keep it in his pants or keep her legs closed.

That said, I don't give affair partners a free pass, yet to me the biggest responsibility is always on the married person.

It isn't an either or. You can blame both the adulterous partner and the one with whom zee cheated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Susie is on the playground. She asks the teacher for a red ball and skips happily playing with it. The teacher has thousands of balls for the children to play, all shapes and colors, but Debbie sees Susie and takes her red ball. Susie is now crying. Debbie could have seen Teacher to get any ball she wished, even a red one like Susie's, but she took Susie's anyway, without Susie's agreement (agreement = sharing = non-exclusivity)

The lessons we have had since childhood: don't take someone else's ball, get your own ball, and play nice.

Debbie is a b!tch. I hate Debbie.

I hate Debbie too, and yes she is a bitch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do judge the OW when a man leaves his wife and children for her. Then she does have some accountability.

Why would a wife want a husband who wants to be with someone else? This is what I don't get. Some women have zero self-worth, then complain that their men don't want them.

I am not clear on OW's accountablity here. All three are adults capable of making their choices.

Except because it's done in secret, only DH and OW actually have free will choices. That's why it's so offensive to me. The wife doesn't get to choose. Yes, I get that the husband and wife have an obligation to treat each other well. This is obvious: if the husband doesn't feel treated well, it's in the OPEN. That is, it's not a secret. He has every right to negotiate better treatment. When is that courtesy extended to DW? It's extended to the OW who can decide and weigh in on getting involved. That's why the OW doesn't quite avoid full responsibility. She is at least afforded the option of choices, with access to the full view (I don't buy getting innocently deceived - if you don't know friends and family and haven't been to his place, you shouldn't be sleeping with him)

Single/available people hook up all the time for flings w/o ever meeting friends, relatives, etc. It just never gets that deep for them even though they have sex. That may not be a choice that you or I would make but that doesn't mean that they are "wrong" for having their fling. But if one of those people lies about their own marital status that is just plain deceptive and wrong. A person might agree to have sex with another single/available person but would never knowingly have sex with a married person. I suppose if the person could betray his/her own spouse it is not that surprising that they could dupe their lover as well. While I think that most affair partners know darned well that they are sleeping with a married/taken person, I can see how some might be duped into believing that their married partner is single.

Actually, I do think it is wrong to have a fling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do judge the OW when a man leaves his wife and children for her. Then she does have some accountability.

Why would a wife want a husband who wants to be with someone else? This is what I don't get. Some women have zero self-worth, then complain that their men don't want them.

I am not clear on OW's accountablity here. All three are adults capable of making their choices.

Except because it's done in secret, only DH and OW actually have free will choices. That's why it's so offensive to me. The wife doesn't get to choose. Yes, I get that the husband and wife have an obligation to treat each other well. This is obvious: if the husband doesn't feel treated well, it's in the OPEN. That is, it's not a secret. He has every right to negotiate better treatment. When is that courtesy extended to DW? It's extended to the OW who can decide and weigh in on getting involved. That's why the OW doesn't quite avoid full responsibility. She is at least afforded the option of choices, with access to the full view (I don't buy getting innocently deceived - if you don't know friends and family and haven't been to his place, you shouldn't be sleeping with him)

Single/available people hook up all the time for flings w/o ever meeting friends, relatives, etc. It just never gets that deep for them even though they have sex. That may not be a choice that you or I would make but that doesn't mean that they are "wrong" for having their fling. But if one of those people lies about their own marital status that is just plain deceptive and wrong. A person might agree to have sex with another single/available person but would never knowingly have sex with a married person. I suppose if the person could betray his/her own spouse it is not that surprising that they could dupe their lover as well. While I think that most affair partners know darned well that they are sleeping with a married/taken person, I can see how some might be duped into believing that their married partner is single.

PP makes excellent points regarding lying and sex.

Great - some women are lied to by married men, and no one is disputing that. The OP of this thread, if you read her post, is obviously a guilty OW trying to deflect blame and responsibility from herself for acting like a tramp. She doesn't and shouldn't get a pass from any self-respecting woman.

Lady, get over it already. You can't control what self respecting (or any other kind) of women think and do any more than you can control your husband. No matter how many times you post in this thread.