Why so much hate for the OW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You suggest that most if not all of the burden of harnessing men's sexuality is on women.

I don't agree.

I don't agree that it should be either. Whether it is or it isn't, I'd suggest a lot of women think that women control access to sex. Otherwise, why would they give such a hard time to women who are dressed sexy?

[Anonymous]

Can't you be disgusted by the behaviors of both? 95% if the time, the other woman is the one posting here. Hence why the responses are directed at her vs him. I think the husband is worse than the other woman, but the OW isn't blameless. You'd think any self respecting woman wouldn't sleep with a married man. And yet they do. If I found out a friend was sleeping with a married man, I'd be disgusted by her choice, think less of her, and end the friendship. Complete lack of morals and sign that someone isn't as nice as you thought. I'd be more disgusted by the guy if I knew him. Both are to blame. Both Aren't good human beings. Just because I may call someone out who posts that they are the OW, that doesn't mean I'm putting all the blame on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People with good character don't sleep with married men.

Justify it all you want. The other woman lacks integrity and is disrespecting the family just like the husband is.

This is it. It isn't either/or - both shoulder blame. Remember the golden rule.

The Golden Rule is flawed.

There is no question of integrity when no promises have been made. OW doesn't owe you any respect. It is pointless to expect it.

And I suppose that the same would hold true for the OW, right? No one has made any commitment to her either (that includes the married guy). No respect necessary..

Has DH's OW asked for your respect? Why change in subject?

Never been in that situation myself. But one would think that most people would want to have sense of respect. Maybe not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women control sex. If the OW was being a proper gate keeper, none of this would have happened. It's why women give other women such a hard time for dressing provocatively.

+1

wtf is a gate keeper?

[Anonymous]

I think less of the OW because she has betrayed the wife of the cheating husband. Women should have more respect for each other than to sleep with another woman's husband. But I guess that is not how most women view it. We are our own worst enemies sometimes. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't you be disgusted by the behaviors of both? 95% if the time, the other woman is the one posting here. Hence why the responses are directed at her vs him. I think the husband is worse than the other woman, but the OW isn't blameless. You'd think any self respecting woman wouldn't sleep with a married man. And yet they do. If I found out a friend was sleeping with a married man, I'd be disgusted by her choice, think less of her, and end the friendship. Complete lack of morals and sign that someone isn't as nice as you thought. I'd be more disgusted by the guy if I knew him. Both are to blame. Both Aren't good human beings. Just because I may call someone out who posts that they are the OW, that doesn't mean I'm putting all the blame on her.

Shit thing to say. People can and do fail in many different ways in life- we all bleed the same. I realize people are flawed and will sometimes make mistakes, sometimes things hard to forgive, but that doesn't make them any 'less' human'. That says a lot about your character.

I don't condone stepping out by either party and in fact, believe that both cheating men and women are broken looking to fill some need from within. I don't see a problem with the betrayed spouse venting on the OW or OM to get to where they need to be in reconciliation. As a PP said, it's easier to blame them than the one you love even though it is misplaced. Both are to blame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People with good character don't sleep with married men.

Justify it all you want. The other woman lacks integrity and is disrespecting the family just like the husband is.

This. Plus if the OW didn't participate the husband would have a pretty tough time having an affair. "You're married? Go home to your wife."

[Anonymous]

^^ PP here. The cheating spouse is never absolved of responsibility. I just think it's tougher to cheat without a willing participant.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't mind her if she didn't insist on texting me apologies. And making chore lists to send to my house for MY kids. They haven't even met her or know she exists. We're still married and it's only been a few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ PP here. The cheating spouse is never absolved of responsibility. I just think it's tougher to cheat without a willing participant.

Sure, but cheaters also lie. They say they're separated or divorced. I know people (male and female) who have discovered that their boyfriend/girlfriend was married well after the fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't mind her if she didn't insist on texting me apologies. And making chore lists to send to my house for MY kids. They haven't even met her or know she exists. We're still married and it's only been a few months.

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People with good character don't sleep with married men.

Justify it all you want. The other woman lacks integrity and is disrespecting the family just like the husband is.

This is it. It isn't either/or - both shoulder blame. Remember the golden rule.

The Golden Rule is flawed.

There is no question of integrity when no promises have been made. OW doesn't owe you any respect. It is pointless to expect it.

And I suppose that the same would hold true for the OW, right? No one has made any commitment to her either (that includes the married guy). No respect necessary..

Has DH's OW asked for your respect? Why change in subject?

Never been in that situation myself. But one would think that most people would want to have sense of respect. Maybe not?

Most people don't care.

[Anonymous]

Most of the time the man has lied to both the wife and the other woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you be disgusted by the behaviors of both? 95% if the time, the other woman is the one posting here. Hence why the responses are directed at her vs him. I think the husband is worse than the other woman, but the OW isn't blameless. You'd think any self respecting woman wouldn't sleep with a married man. And yet they do. If I found out a friend was sleeping with a married man, I'd be disgusted by her choice, think less of her, and end the friendship. Complete lack of morals and sign that someone isn't as nice as you thought. I'd be more disgusted by the guy if I knew him. Both are to blame. Both Aren't good human beings. Just because I may call someone out who posts that they are the OW, that doesn't mean I'm putting all the blame on her.

Shit thing to say. People can and do fail in many different ways in life- we all bleed the same. I realize people are flawed and will sometimes make mistakes, sometimes things hard to forgive, but that doesn't make them any 'less' human'. That says a lot about your character.

I don't condone stepping out by either party and in fact, believe that both cheating men and women are broken looking to fill some need from within. I don't see a problem with the betrayed spouse venting on the OW or OM to get to where they need to be in reconciliation. As a PP said, it's easier to blame them than the one you love even though it is misplaced. Both are to blame.

You can fall in love, but keep your knees together until he has unravelled his previous ties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ PP here. The cheating spouse is never absolved of responsibility. I just think it's tougher to cheat without a willing participant.

Sure, but cheaters also lie. They say they're separated or divorced. I know people (male and female) who have discovered that their boyfriend/girlfriend was married well after the fact.

I would call the supposed ex to verify.