Things you wish your wish your spouse told you before the wedding:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im gonna get really fat when pregnant and it will be hard on me emotionally. I will lose the weight within the year but each time it will be really hard for me. I know you don't care but I felt disgusting each time for a solid year. Please try and realize its super super hard for me.

Wow, what an asshole. I am so glad you are not my husband. Your wife gave birth to your children AND lost all pregnancy weight!!! she had the right to complain and feel miserable because guess what? It IS really, really tough!

[Anonymous]

You're going to have to support me because I love the prestige of a professional degree but never really wanted to work full time.

[Anonymous]

That when you give me money for groceries, I will spend it on crap from stores that I really don't need because I have the money maturity of a five year old and think you salary is my personal bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) My desire for cleanliness extends to sex. I won't masturbate anywhere but the toilet because I think it's dirty. Would never consider anal sex. Like to shower immediately afterwards so there's never a wet spot. Did I mention I'm a repressed Catholic?
2) I have no intention of being an equal partner in childrearing or household tasks. You'll end up working as many hours if not more than I do, but then come home and be responsible for 90% of the domestic stuff.
3) you will be dying for affection by the time we have kids. Not interested in any kind of physical touch unless it ends up in sex.
4) Oh and by the way? The social drinking I do now will turn into alcoholism in my 40s.

Gay?

I sure hope not. Does 1) mean gay to you?

[Anonymous]

You know that discussion about the worst thing about roommates being when they trash the kitchen? Guess what, once married I don't even see trash, especially if I've removed packaging from food and left it on the kitchen counter.

[Anonymous]

After our first (sweet, low-needs) kid, I will decide that I don't want any more, even though we always talked about having a big family. Surprise!

[Anonymous]

I pretended to be interested in many topics during those long sexy talks we had during our courtship, but I actually have no intellectual curiosity whatsoever. Art, books, science, education, health, I am not interested at all. Just give me the scores.

I am going to be a great spouse in most ways though, and I could probably have done a lot better than you.

[Anonymous]

That even though I just quit my $10k/yr job at the hotel and will not make any $ for the first 2 years of our marriage I will eventually make millions. I will be a better father than you could ever imagine. That I will insist that you quit your job and that your parents move in with us when they get sick (cancer and Alzheimers).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After marriage, I will fart increasingly often/loudly.

That's all I can think of, which evidently means I won the lottery.

Honey, is that you? Sorry! You know it's worse with pregnancy!

[Anonymous]

I have the world fooled but I'm actually messy, disorganized, flaky, forgetful, and I start things I don't finish. And I have hoarding tendencies.

[Anonymous]

I am addicted to porn and cannot stop myself from watching it, no matter how much sex we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I can watch The Shawshank Redemption an infinite number of times and if it's on any cable channel I will expect to watch it, even if I just watched it earlier in the day.

Get busy livin, or get busy dyin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things I wish my DH had told me:

1. I will do missionary until I'm 55 and then I'll stop with sex altogether.

2. I have a palate that hasn't really advanced since I was 7 years old. I have no desire to change this.

3. I will never lift a finger to do anything 'handy' in the house ever.

4. At a certain point I will completely give in to toenail fungus.

5. My idea of vigorous activity is a listless shamble towards the TV when I can't find the remote.

6. I'll keep a vigorous head of healthy hair, but my teeth will crumble out of my mouth one by one.

7. When you get down to it, I'm afraid of animals and fast moving machinery.

8. I didn't grow up using fancy things like 'sheets' and 'silverware'.

9. I really can't drive my way out of a paper bag.

Minus number 3 this was my ex to a T. Thank god I didn't marry him.

[Anonymous]

I'll play.

I'll become indifferent to sex.

I'll have horrible dental habits even though you'll ask nicely time after time for me to floss. Eventually you'll stop kissing me and I won't care.

I won't help with the kids. In fact, I'll put them in dangerous situations and you'll always have to supervise them.

I won't be able to help in managing our finances because it's "just too hard."

I'll lie to you about serious things.

When caught, I'll weep like a little girl and tremble so you feel bad and don't get upset with me.

I'm a DW btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll play.

I'll become indifferent to sex.

I'll have horrible dental habits even though you'll ask nicely time after time for me to floss. Eventually you'll stop kissing me and I won't care.

I won't help with the kids. In fact, I'll put them in dangerous situations and you'll always have to supervise them.

I won't be able to help in managing our finances because it's "just too hard."

I'll lie to you about serious things.

When caught, I'll weep like a little girl and tremble so you feel bad and don't get upset with me.

I'm a DW btw.

tell it, girl!