Will I regret having only one child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have at least 2.

Okay!


...Jesus fuck some people are stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this may sound a little impersonal, but cost is a big concern. You want to make sure that you're both on board with having a second child. What if (heaven forbid) your spouse dies, you get divorced, or you have a child with special needs? I am the mother of an only child. He is 35 and he is very lonely. I regret not having a second child. I myself was the youngest of two children. You're correct about the burden an only child may face. I am alone and unmarried now (at 62), and if my car breaks down, sometimes I call on him. I had a gall bladder attack, and he had to rush me to the hospital! I try not to ask him for any help, but sometimes family is who you trust the most in some situations. So yes if I had it to do over again, I think I would have had at least two children!

I am 35 and an only. I was once lonely, but now I am not--I have no time to be; I have a husband and two children.

It is true that I had to care for my father when he declined and died, right when I had a newborn. I will not lie that it was difficult. However my husband helped, my extended family helped, and we hired as much help as we could afford, and we kept him comfortable at home until the end.

Not every only child goes through what I did. My only child friend's dad just passed, but he was in good health until the end; she never was a caregiver and in fact lived across the country. And not everyone with siblings is able to share the responsibilities. My husband is one of three, and only one of his siblings is in the same country as his parents.

Don't beat yourself up and don't regret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of five and my spouse is one of seven. Life is never dull and we all help out our ederly parents.

We have two kids.

I am an only. My husband is one of three.

I wanted three, he wanted one.

We settled on two.

[Anonymous]

Have at least 2. One is a lonely number. I am 65 and all my friends who are only children wish they had siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have at least 2. One is a lonely number. I am 65 and all my friends who are only children wish they had siblings.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have at least 2. One is a lonely number. I am 65 and all my friends who are only children wish they had siblings.

+1

But what happens when one of the siblings has special needs or becomes an addict or becomes disabled and can't take care of themselves? Or just has no interest in eldercare or having a relationship with their sibling? There's no guarantee in life and I can bet the 65 year old only children you know are wishing for the "ideal" sibling relationship, not what the actually reality may have been.

A coworker has 4 siblings. The 4 siblings all live within a few miles of their aging parent. One lives 3 blocks away. Coworker lives 200 miles away. Siblings can't be bothered to help aging parent at all, even when there's been a recent terminal diagnosis. Coworker spends weekends there and jumps in the car whenever there's an emergency. Siblings couldn't be bothered to help their aging parent shovel out after a snowstorm. The one 3 blocks away said they were studying for a real estate exam and couldn't spend the time helping. I've heard similar stories more times than I can count. I'm not saying this is the norm--but it is a very real possibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have at least 2. One is a lonely number. I am 65 and all my friends who are only children wish they had siblings.

By age 65, one should have a social network that prevents this, no? And do you really sit around discussing this with all your friends who are only children?

Im not an only child but I have to say, siblings really aren't all they're cracked up to. There's a lot of luck of the draw there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have at least 2. One is a lonely number. I am 65 and all my friends who are only children wish they had siblings.

+1

But what happens when one of the siblings has special needs or becomes an addict or becomes disabled and can't take care of themselves? Or just has no interest in eldercare or having a relationship with their sibling? There's no guarantee in life and I can bet the 65 year old only children you know are wishing for the "ideal" sibling relationship, not what the actually reality may have been.

A coworker has 4 siblings. The 4 siblings all live within a few miles of their aging parent. One lives 3 blocks away. Coworker lives 200 miles away. Siblings can't be bothered to help aging parent at all, even when there's been a recent terminal diagnosis. Coworker spends weekends there and jumps in the car whenever there's an emergency. Siblings couldn't be bothered to help their aging parent shovel out after a snowstorm. The one 3 blocks away said they were studying for a real estate exam and couldn't spend the time helping. I've heard similar stories more times than I can count. I'm not saying this is the norm--but it is a very real possibility.

True to my experience as well. In my own family and outside of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the same boat, too, and my DC is approaching 4 now. I posted a similar thread a while back and got some pretty mean responses, just to warn you.

When my child was 2 my position was that I could not possibly do it, because i was just too tapped out with even 1. Now that I have an almost 4 year old, I think I could handle being a parent to 2 children, but I wonder if I could survive another very rough newborn/infant phase. It was extremely difficult for me. No way for me to know if the second baby would have health problems like the first one did, but the thought frightens me.

One thing is for sure - if we have a second, we will have to hire a night nurse. I had a terrible postpartum experience and I Know I can't do it alone again.

This is just my experience but I have two children and I really wished I had more. They are so much fun. Infant years were tough but I think mostly because it was new and it was hard to accept getting off the fast track at first. But now my kids are in middle school and I wished I didn't spend the first two years trying to do both. Have a second. You will not regret.