Will I regret having only one child?
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Anonymous
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No.
Signed, Mom of two |
Anonymous
| No signed mom of an only girl. She's the greatest kid ever. |
Anonymous
+1 Your child would like a sibling. |
Anonymous
And you know this because you know the OP's child personally? |
Anonymous
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This is something you can only decide for yourself. My first was an only until he was six. We were happy with the way things were at that time, but I can see now how enriched my life has been by having more children. I guess I never would have realized that if we'd stuck with one, but I am very happy and fortunate to have the children I have.
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Anonymous
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First off, you and DH are not old. I'm 47, DH is 53 and we have one child. We both have siblings. We spent many years doing IVF and eventually adopted. Would like to have another, and sometimes I dream about getting pregnant, but chances are against it. Growing up, I always thought I'd have four (I'm one of four). DD is only 4, and we have some family nearby and I don't think she's suffering being an only or longing for a sibling, but then, she's very young.
We feel unbelievably blessed to have the kid we have, and hope she'll have a life where her friends become her family. DH's family is older and though they love her to death, they aren't her contemporaries. We actually talk about moving closer to my family, because my siblings have kids closer to her age. That's probably coming in a few years, even though one of my siblings and I aren't particularly close. I worry more about when she leaves the house, what will we do? We both work, but pretty much everything revolves around her now. DH has hobbies, but I really don't. Guess I need to find some. I will be sad if she lives far away from us when she grows up, but I guess that will be part of life. I live 5 hours from my mom now, and I know it is hard for her. As she ages and has some health problems, it's really hard for me too. |
Anonymous
OP here. I don't actually know that my son would like a sibling. He attends preschool/daycare all day while we're at work so he spends all day with kids and when he gets home he likes to have some time to play quietly or watch some TV--he needs time to decompress after a busy, social day. He takes after me in that way. He can play with kids in the neighborhood whenever he wants since there are mostly young families in our neighborhood, plus my best friend and her 3 kids live around the corner. We spend lots of time at their house, but he likes coming home afterward. He does call our dog his "brother", but I don't think he's telling me he wants a human sibling. Of course, that could change as he gets older. I'm sure he would adjust to having a sibling, but he seems pretty content with our little family. |
Anonymous
| #2 was an "accident". The kids are 22 months apart. I wasn't ready for #2 and not sure how I felt about having another child. But it was the best "accident" I ever had. Don't get me wrong the first 5 years are tough with daycare, work, and money but we made it. And now that they are older, they are the best playmates. They play with each other all the time which is great on vacations or just out doing errands. It is also reassuring to know that they will always have each other. And when we are old sick & die, they will not be alone in handling it all. |
Anonymous
OP, I was pointing out that the other poster was projecting her own stuff onto your child. She doesn't know your kid or your family, so what possible basis does she have for saying your son wants a sibling? None. As for the aging parents thing: The reality is that the responsibility for caring for aging parents often falls primarily on one child of several, and it doesn't necessarily matter if there are siblings. We all know this, regardless of how much we'd like to pretend otherwise. |
Anonymous
OP here--yes, I understood your point (and appreciated you pointing that out). I was mostly responding to the PPs who said that my son would like a sibling without knowing my son or our family dynamics. I'm fairly surprised that for the most part I've received very balanced, helpful views on the subject. |
Anonymous
Trust me. |
Anonymous
Ask him. What does he think? |
Anonymous
Ask a 3 year old if he would like a sibling? What should OP do if he says yes? Or no? Base her decision on what he says? I could ask my 3 year old if he wants a hot dog for dinner and he could say yes. Then at dinner he could refuse the hot dog. I don't think OP should take her 3 year old's opinion at this time into account in terms of her decision to have another child or not. |
Anonymous
| If you have to ask the question, the answer is probably yes. |
Anonymous
| probably not. There are so many things that you can do if you have only one. |