Will I regret having only one child?

[Anonymous]

I am one of five and my spouse is one of seven. Life is never dull and we all help out our ederly parents.

We have two kids.

[Anonymous]

32 year old DD is happy as an only child and delighted to be the main heir of my estate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of five and my spouse is one of seven. Life is never dull and we all help out our ederly parents.

We have two kids.

There is no guarantee a large family will be that close.

I have a friend who's one of 8. The dysfunction and cruel attacks make me grateful to be an only. Furthermore, I don't have to deal with backstabbing ways once my mother passes on. I'll be the heir.

[Anonymous]

I know this may sound a little impersonal, but cost is a big concern. You want to make sure that you're both on board with having a second child. What if (heaven forbid) your spouse dies, you get divorced, or you have a child with special needs? I am the mother of an only child. He is 35 and he is very lonely. I regret not having a second child. I myself was the youngest of two children. You're correct about the burden an only child may face. I am alone and unmarried now (at 62), and if my car breaks down, sometimes I call on him. I had a gall bladder attack, and he had to rush me to the hospital! I try not to ask him for any help, but sometimes family is who you trust the most in some situations. So yes if I had it to do over again, I think I would have had at least two children!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this may sound a little impersonal, but cost is a big concern. You want to make sure that you're both on board with having a second child. What if (heaven forbid) your spouse dies, you get divorced, or you have a child with special needs? I am the mother of an only child. He is 35 and he is very lonely. I regret not having a second child. I myself was the youngest of two children. You're correct about the burden an only child may face. I am alone and unmarried now (at 62), and if my car breaks down, sometimes I call on him. I had a gall bladder attack, and he had to rush me to the hospital! I try not to ask him for any help, but sometimes family is who you trust the most in some situations. So yes if I had it to do over again, I think I would have had at least two children!

Why is he lonely? Does he not have a spouse and children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this may sound a little impersonal, but cost is a big concern. You want to make sure that you're both on board with having a second child. What if (heaven forbid) your spouse dies, you get divorced, or you have a child with special needs? I am the mother of an only child. He is 35 and he is very lonely. I regret not having a second child. I myself was the youngest of two children. You're correct about the burden an only child may face. I am alone and unmarried now (at 62), and if my car breaks down, sometimes I call on him. I had a gall bladder attack, and he had to rush me to the hospital! I try not to ask him for any help, but sometimes family is who you trust the most in some situations. So yes if I had it to do over again, I think I would have had at least two children!

uh

It's not the fact he's an only, PP. It's his personality. I was 37 when I got married, but prior to that THIS only was going out and working and on my second home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this may sound a little impersonal, but cost is a big concern. You want to make sure that you're both on board with having a second child. What if (heaven forbid) your spouse dies, you get divorced, or you have a child with special needs? I am the mother of an only child. He is 35 and he is very lonely. I regret not having a second child. I myself was the youngest of two children. You're correct about the burden an only child may face. I am alone and unmarried now (at 62), and if my car breaks down, sometimes I call on him. I had a gall bladder attack, and he had to rush me to the hospital! I try not to ask him for any help, but sometimes family is who you trust the most in some situations. So yes if I had it to do over again, I think I would have had at least two children!

uh

It's not the fact he's an only, PP. It's his personality. I was 37 when I got married, but prior to that THIS only was going out and working and on my second home!

Yes, good point. It is unreasonable to attribute the loneliness of a 35 year-old to the fact that he's an only child.

[Anonymous]

My DH's best friend is an only child. He married and has two daughters. Their lives are rich in every way possible and his parents are over the moon to have two granddaughters.

[Anonymous]

i had a second because I was so paranoid about loosing my first. Not sure why, she was healthy and still is! But I had a driving force behind me to have one more and all I could think of was what if I was not a mom one day, I could not deal. I know it can happen anyway, but that was my drive to have number 2. Had him 3 years apart, not by choice, really tried for closer. NO regrets. LOVE LOVE LOVE having two and now wish I had 3! not much more expensive on daily items, but travel and school cost so much more with two. I could not live with regret of no having another, it would have nagged me till the day I died. Good luck with your choice. And the choice is yours to make so be happy with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i had a second because I was so paranoid about loosing my first. Not sure why, she was healthy and still is! But I had a driving force behind me to have one more and all I could think of was what if I was not a mom one day, I could not deal. I know it can happen anyway, but that was my drive to have number 2. Had him 3 years apart, not by choice, really tried for closer. NO regrets. LOVE LOVE LOVE having two and now wish I had 3! not much more expensive on daily items, but travel and school cost so much more with two. I could not live with regret of no having another, it would have nagged me till the day I died. Good luck with your choice. And the choice is yours to make so be happy with it.

This wasn't my primary reason but definitely a factor. Yes, it's morbid, but I knew a few families who lost children and the one where it was an only child seemed especially devastating to me.

[Anonymous]

Been through the the same thought process. Had my third at 45. They all love each others company and they are still under 10. The bond is making. I am glad I made the decison to keep going. You are young. Go with your gut.

[Anonymous]

I loved having siblings growing up, it made for a lively home. My DH each have three sibs. We have five of our own because that felt right to us.

[Anonymous]

I often think that having more children 3+ puts a lot of pressure on your marriage. I have two but when I think of all the stress I dealt with when they were younger I would probably be totally impossible to deal with trying to handle three kids. And of course when they grow up you owe them to pay for their college tuition.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting, it seems like some of the onlies think they were missing out on something great by not having a sibling so they idealize it. Those of us who have siblings know that it can be hit or miss. My brother and I have been close at various times in our lives but since he got married to someone with a big family our relationship has deteriorated to the point of being almost nonexistent. This has caused a lot of sadness for my parents and I but sadly I think it's common when men get married. There are no guarantees.

[Anonymous]

Have at least 2.