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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

So you had 2 children and 5 jobs, who was raising your kids? When were you seeing them?[/quote]

My husband and I were and are. We can coordinate schedules and you can work after they go to bed and before they get up.   Does that surprise you?  I called you out, got some support and now you're upset.  I don't think you are wiling to make the necessary changes to get out of your financial hole.  You get defensive and have a million excuses.  Someone, whether a good friend or a stranger on this anonymous forum, needs to wake you up. It is the truth.  You can't manage your money, you won't make the right choices, you feel justified in what you're doing, it is all your parents, your exs and the world's fault.  I don't doubt you're a great mom and a good person.  But you aren't genuine in your initial post.  [/quote]

PP here.  It's frustrating because people are telling you when you have nothing and you have no family money to fall on often times there is an element of sacrifice and planning to get to the payoff maybe 10 years away.  Yes, this could mean you sacrifice time with your child in the early years.  No you can't work 5 jobs but you could be working  during the weekends your ex has the child.  You could have your ex take one day or half a day on the off weekend.  I don't think we are talking about the type of changes where your child wouldn't recognize you.  We also aren't talking about forever- maybe 1-2 years.  There will come a time when it would be disappointing to your child if you don't make the 1pm Friday Halloween parade, every soccer game on Saturday, when he/she is a tree in the school play,  and you need to be there in the evenings to help with homework.  However, you are not at that stage yet.

My parents didn't have the type of money or the job flexibility for me to be involved in activities or for them to take off mid-day for class parties etc.  I don't see money as the key to any sort of happiness but I recognize how not having money restricts my choices and what I can provide my children in terms of experiences and my time with them.  It is also harder to take joy in the little things when you are so stressed about being behind in bills.  It would have been worth the sacrifice the first few years of working more if that put me in a better position to have more time and money when they were in elementary.[/quote]

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