How do you handle farting in your relationship

[Anonymous]

one word

A C T I V I A

One tiny cup of Activia yogurt fix our (DD, me, and our dog) little farting problems.
DH so make sure we well stock these little cups.
Try it!

[Anonymous]

I'm so tired of hearing the farts. They're not sexy. Go away. Go in the bathroom. Or at least try not to look like you're relishing the moment and feeling proud of how much noise you made.

DH is 48 and our elementary aged boys make more of an effort to conceal their farts than he does.

[Anonymous]

This topic reminded me of this gem from my youth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-erL7mELFS4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so tired of hearing the farts. They're not sexy. Go away. Go in the bathroom. Or at least try not to look like you're relishing the moment and feeling proud of how much noise you made.

DH is 48 and our elementary aged boys make more of an effort to conceal their farts than he does.

Honey? Is that you? Come back to bed, babe. The smell's gone. I promise!

[Anonymous]

It's foreplay at our house.

[Anonymous]

Anyone else out there who just doesn't fart that much? Has never been an issue in any relationship I've had.

[Anonymous]

My husbands farts startle me awake. That's when I get ragey but otherwise we have lots of LOLS about farting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My favorite thing is to pretend I heard a noise, and in a near panic hushed tone, I say: "Shhh!!! Did you hear that?"

Predictably, a hushed silence in fear fills the room.

Followed by a loud fart.

It doesn't get old. Just funnier. Family tradition that I hope my kids pass (pun intended) along.

This made me laugh so hard that I..................farted!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husbands farts startle me awake. That's when I get ragey but otherwise we have lots of LOLS about farting.

'startle me awake' - I am sorry, but that is hilarious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to work at a well known big garden center in NoVA. 80% of the customers I helped were farters. They asked me questions like what shrubs adapt to wet soils, and while I was providing them with the info they seemed to be happy and relaxed farting.

Damn. LOL kinda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female, married 25 years. Try not to pass gas in close proximity to DH, but sometimes it just happens. I say, excuse me. No big deal.

+1, except fewer years married

[Anonymous]

The funniest thing was when the subject came up and my husband said he had never heard me fart in front of him, and we'd been married over 5 years!?! What? Sweet man.

[Anonymous]

We also do the 'omg did u hear that??' followed by a deafening, lengthy fart.

I think I'm one level worse because I actually lean sideways and shake, flap, or jiggle my bum cheek to get different sounds. Often I will start to move and my dh now knows what I'm doing and as I put one hand back to squeeze the cheek, he will grab it and hold the cheek 'open' to wreck the fart so it isn't as loud, which disappoints me.

Yes I just admitted the worst problem in our marriage: my husband gets back at me by wrecking my farts. We have a lot of fun though.

Only problem is that we have children now and really are trying to teach the whole 'mummy and daddy lol at home but we don't do this in public' thing...

[Anonymous]

Hey, OP, just wanted to catch up and see how that new relationship went given your farting.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I rip one while I'm asleep and it wakes me up. I still die of embarrassment and we've been married 15 years! The stories above are hilarious, though.