I gave up a baby for adoption. Ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused by some of these recent posts.

OP, I hope nobody here is badgering you for your decision. I'm sure it was and maybe has been utterly heart-wrenching. And personally, I do not think it is the norm to go out and try to contact your child, but at the same time, this is one of life's difficult situations, so I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here.

Finally, kudos to you for doing the right thing and not aborting the child. I took the easy way out and had an abortion, you did not. Props to you.

First of all this is HIGHLY offensive and judgmental of you, towards any women here who have had abortions. Secondly, giving OP props for something she had no control over is stupid - she did not get to make the choice. It is not "easy" to have an abortion. It is simply "what seems best for all involved at the time." So although I think you're an idiot I hope you are only beating yourself up for being such a judgmental ass towards others, and not beating yourself up for having had an abortion.

It really seems like you did not fully read this thread. If you had, you would know whether or not anybody here has badgered OP for what you call her decision. Which, as I explained above, it was not.

Except for the child being aborted, of course.

[Anonymous]

I was going to post a really long diatribe about how offensive you are being, but isntead, I'm just going to start reporting your posts. You're being extremely insensitive to the fact that the adoption was against OP's wishes. If you want to debate adoption vs. abortion, please start your own "Ask Me Anything" thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused by some of these recent posts.

OP, I hope nobody here is badgering you for your decision. I'm sure it was and maybe has been utterly heart-wrenching. And personally, I do not think it is the norm to go out and try to contact your child, but at the same time, this is one of life's difficult situations, so I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here.

Finally, kudos to you for doing the right thing and not aborting the child. I took the easy way out and had an abortion, you did not. Props to you.

First of all this is HIGHLY offensive and judgmental of you, towards any women here who have had abortions. Secondly, giving OP props for something she had no control over is stupid - she did not get to make the choice. It is not "easy" to have an abortion. It is simply "what seems best for all involved at the time." So although I think you're an idiot I hope you are only beating yourself up for being such a judgmental ass towards others, and not beating yourself up for having had an abortion.

It really seems like you did not fully read this thread. If you had, you would know whether or not anybody here has badgered OP for what you call her decision. Which, as I explained above, it was not.

Except for the child being aborted, of course.

Firstly, it's a fetus, not a child. Secondly, what if the person having the abortion was raped and would be raising her rapist's baby? Oh, and what if she's too young to move out, and the person who raped her was in the same house she was raising that child in? You really think a teenage girl who is traumatized by rape, pregnancy, abuse, neglect and now childbirth will have the mindset to consider adoption? Every time? Come now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what would happen if a 15 year old mother refuses and is not welcome back home to her parents house? Would the baby end in foster care and be adopted against her wishes?
Or could she as a homeless teen qualify for some housing assistance? I am assuming welfare is difficult to qualify for and wait lists mean she would be homeless with social workers taking the baby

There are some shelters for teen mothers. However. If you are homeless and a social worker or whomever finds you and finds you do not have a safe and secure way of providing your baby with the absolute bare minimum basics like diapers, shelter, etc., then the baby can be taken into foster care.

A 15 year old would go into foster care herself. There is a huge need for foster parents who can take a young mother with a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adoption is supposed to be voluntary

No, adoption is not supposed to be voluntary. Adoption encompasses much more than those parents who feel they can't raise their kids or that they can give their kids a better life through adoption. Adoption also includes terminating parental rights where children are abused, neglected and abandoned and then finding families for those children.

My heart goes out to OP. but there are many people in her situation who end up having parental rights terminated because they could not care for the child.

Well, in that case the system is not working the way it is supposed to. Being poor is not a reason to take children away. Children can be placed in foster care against the parents wishes after other forms to help the family have failed. Living under a bridge is a sure way to loose your kids, a violent boyfriend is another, etc etc
Most of the time parents want to be reunited and families do a lot to meet all the criteria to be allowed to be together again. This takes time and effort on the part of the social workers and they are often incompetent and unwilling to help.