How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?

[Anonymous]

Also, since you obviously know a lot about women, can you please tell this guy that he has probably completely blown it with the extremely hot woman he has been sleeping with by talking about this emotional affair way too much. I just can't get it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is amazing. I know we're all supposed to be shocked and horrified but honestly, I have more respect for the people on this thread who cheat, whether married or affair partner, than the boring whining martyrs stuck in sexless marriages on the other threads. Or the women whose husbands don't lift a finger around the house or with the kids.

Life is too short. Enjoy it!

Yeah I'm sure my ex-husband is really enjoying his life now that he's a single dad, broke from the divorce and paying child support and for his own apartment, missing out on half his kid's lives and doesn't even have his affair girlfriend since they (shocker!) fizzled out shortly after he moved out on his family. His life seems really enjoyable!

keep telling yourself that

[Anonymous]

It does not matter if he is a DOMW. All that matters is the identity he makes his target believe in. He has to seem like a good person doing something -- starting an affair -- that is out of character for him.

That is why no aspiring seducer should say negative things about his wife if his target is older than 25. A target wants to believe that a man has Angelina Jolie at home but actually prefers her. Talk up your wife, don't talk her down. And then in time let the slightest of sighs escape to imply that, for some reason, all is not perfect in paradise. Your wife is beautiful, smart, and talented but...lacks X (insert thing that target has in spades). The 8 wants to hear about the chink in the 10's armor. Women are actually far more secretly competitive than men.

[Anonymous]

Right. Well, tell him the other thing and thanks for helping him out. I'm sure she doesn't know he is a DOMW. And he doesn't really have the option of playing hard to get. She is already playing that game.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it would be hard to pull off at this stage of the game. I advised him to cut his losses and move on unless he really really wants her.

[Anonymous]

I want to meet the Seducer on this thread! You're good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it would be hard to pull off at this stage of the game. I advised him to cut his losses and move on unless he really really wants her.

Oh he really, really REALLY wants her. I think he still has a chance but it could go either way.

PLEASE tell me how you learned these things. I am fascinated. Also, I am taking notes on who NOT to sleep with based on your advice.

[Anonymous]

DOMW here. So 11:54, do you think Rico Suave actually knows what he's talking about? It sounds like he's reading out of a manual, but if not, he should write one, no?

Rico, the situation is more bizarre than you realize, but I do appreciate your philosophizing. You are a Gangster or Love. I'm not worthy.

But continue.

[Anonymous]

Also, 11:54, if Rico is that good, you should not need to take notes -- he should be telling you what you already know, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1. I'm in a situation like this. She all but falls into my arms -- on a regular basis -- but then won't let herself be in a situation where anything physical can happen. It's not teasing; I'm old enough (sadly) to know when a woman is genuinely into me. I suspect I serve as a nice spur to her fantasies. Great.

I also think this is what a lot of women actually mean when they say they engaged in an "emotional affair." It's transgressive and satisfying for the woman, but she can feel like she didn't cross the line to ho or homewrecker or whatever unfortunate images she harbors of women who cheat. It's (eventually) just frustrating as hell for the dude.

If you haven't closed the deal by now there is a chance that you are too late to ever do so. If you woo her without succeeding then you risk damaging your ability to seduce other women in the workplace by getting a reputation as a Dirty Old or Young Manwhore, who is also, even worse, weak. The best wingman is actually a woman who does not know she is your wingman. This is why I suggested asking how your adored one met her husband. It's a win-win if done correctly. After you find out whether she can be seduced by her expression you should follow up with an indirect compliment. (DO NOT SAY - Your husband is sure a lucky man. DO SAY - How interesting that you met at law school. It must be great meeting someone who works in your field.) You have to make subtly compliment her taste in that quintessential life decision - spousal selection. If you discover that she loves her husband so much she cannot be seduced you should continue the conversation and ask more about the spouse. In this way you influence this attractive woman's image of you. She will be flattered by your interest in her family and think you respect her as a person and friend. She will think you are a genuinely nice guy and will pass that information on to other female colleagues, which will help you in subsequent seduction attempts.

The object of your lust is doubtless a high 7 or 8. The problem for an 8 is that her competition is not other 8s; in her prime she was compared to the 10. Young men waste time going for the rare 10 they encounter. Remember how every guy in the dorm did his utmost to bed that exquisite 10 who never looked at any of them because she had an older wealthy lover? Older men realize that they are not likely to get a 10 and that a high 7/8 can yield greater pleasure. No high-value woman wants anyone else's sloppy seconds. To maximize your chances of seducing her it is critical that you actively establish a reputation within your organization as a Not Dirty Old or Young Manwhore. Your task is to convince the 8 that you are a decent, moral, upstanding person who would never want to make anyone cheat. You must convince her that everyone else has been wrong; you know that she, as she has always suspected, is truly a 10, not an 8. The truth of this conviction -- her inhuman desirability -- has forced you to make a move or go mad with desire.

I believe you have missed your moment with this particular woman but if you are willing to go back to the drawing board, to satisfy her psychically without seeming desperate, perhaps you can regain the momentum. If I were you I would withdraw. She has grown comfortable basking in your attention. I would be courteous and professional the next time I encountered her, friendly in the way you are with other colleagues. I wouldn't even allude to what has passed between you. She will be confused at first, then angry, and then insecure. She won't want to lose her water cooler admirer. Capitalize on that secret fear: What if she is just an 8 and you have realized that and moved on? Show that she no longer moves you. Go directly into the "we're just friends" stage without explanation or rancor. The resulting sleepless nights for her = panties for you.

Already done this, btw. She'd already revealed on her own, albeit in different words, that she's bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DOMW here. So 11:54, do you think Rico Suave actually knows what he's talking about? It sounds like he's reading out of a manual, but if not, he should write one, no?

Rico, the situation is more bizarre than you realize, but I do appreciate your philosophizing. You are a Gangster or Love. I'm not worthy.

But continue.

Well, he doesn't know your specific situation but yes, he is very good. I like to think it wouldn't work on me but who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, 11:54, if Rico is that good, you should not need to take notes -- he should be telling you what you already know, no?

No, DOMW, I don't know any of it because I am not an especially manipulative person. I am always a little shocked to see what goes on in the mind of a guy like that. It's good to know what behaviors to avoid.

Notice, how he didn't respond to my other comments? That is because he assumes that you don't give a shit if you have blown it.

[Anonymous]

You are taking notes to avoid hooking up with a Rico next time? That would be sensible. I had initially read your comment to mean that you would be looking for such a dude who would tell you what you want to hear.

Taking the full-on manipulative approach would just take too much psychic energy for me, even if I was otherwise comfortable with it, which I'm not. Rico's methodology is for (1) sociopaths (who have it so easy in amorous matters, don't they?), or (2) less-than-sociopaths who are more into the seduction than the sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DOMW here. So 11:54, do you think Rico Suave actually knows what he's talking about? It sounds like he's reading out of a manual, but if not, he should write one, no?

Rico, the situation is more bizarre than you realize, but I do appreciate your philosophizing. You are a Gangster or Love. I'm not worthy.

But continue.

Well, he doesn't know your specific situation but yes, he is very good. I like to think it wouldn't work on me but who knows.

It might not work on you. There are a few people who cannot ever be physically seduced for religious or other reasons. At the other end of the spectrum are those who can be "seduced" by almost anyone, nymphos and sex addicts. Most people cannot be seduced at any time by anyone but can be seduced by the right person at the right time. The window of opportunity is there but does not remain open indefinitely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DOMW here. So 11:54, do you think Rico Suave actually knows what he's talking about? It sounds like he's reading out of a manual, but if not, he should write one, no?

Rico, the situation is more bizarre than you realize, but I do appreciate your philosophizing. You are a Gangster or Love. I'm not worthy.

But continue.

Well, he doesn't know your specific situation but yes, he is very good. I like to think it wouldn't work on me but who knows.

It might not work on you. There are a few people who cannot ever be physically seduced for religious or other reasons. At the other end of the spectrum are those who can be "seduced" by almost anyone, nymphos and sex addicts. Most people cannot be seduced at any time by anyone but can be seduced by the right person at the right time. The window of opportunity is there but does not remain open indefinitely.

Oh no! That is not what I meant. I can be seduced but he has to come across as halfway human. Also, I think I actually prefer to do the seducing.