Invite Us to 4th of July Party and Then Ask Us to Pay?

[Anonymous]

everyone's so quick to end the friendship over this and call the hosts tacky. But what if the OP is the tacky one and the hosts are trying "tactfully" to put everything right? What if the invite was for a certain event - say dinner at the club and fireworks - but other club services were added expenses? what if the hosts subtly made an invite for "dinner and fireworks" and didn't offer other amenities? What if OP's family - DH, and two kids - started using all these other services without regard to the additional costs to the host? maybe the host is taking the high-road by covering the original cost of dinner and fireworks, but simply sending an email with their cost of all the other services? Much better than calling them out on their rude behavior.

I know none of this was said in the OP, but I'm just showing how we don't know the whole story and before everyone quickly advises the OP to end the friendship, maybe we should advise her to give her friends the benefit of the doubt and not assume they're just being tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:everyone's so quick to end the friendship over this and call the hosts tacky. But what if the OP is the tacky one and the hosts are trying "tactfully" to put everything right? What if the invite was for a certain event - say dinner at the club and fireworks - but other club services were added expenses? what if the hosts subtly made an invite for "dinner and fireworks" and didn't offer other amenities? What if OP's family - DH, and two kids - started using all these other services without regard to the additional costs to the host? maybe the host is taking the high-road by covering the original cost of dinner and fireworks, but simply sending an email with their cost of all the other services? Much better than calling them out on their rude behavior.

I know none of this was said in the OP, but I'm just showing how we don't know the whole story and before everyone quickly advises the OP to end the friendship, maybe we should advise her to give her friends the benefit of the doubt and not assume they're just being tacky.

Listen, Pollyanna, we can only go on what OP tells us and most people are not so bereft of their own lives to ponder this any further than necessary. Please, please get a job, or a hobby.

[Anonymous]

Look, CCs are a frivolous expense. It is much akin to the person who HAS to drive X brand car but does not own a house. It makes no responsible fiscal sense. You can go on and on about how owning a house is over rated, blah, blah, blah, but in the end, any decent financial planner wil tell you, WHY are you driving around in X car when you don't even own Y or Z?

It sounds frankly like your friends are social climbers who really can not afford the club, OP. Which is fine. But they need to get their priorities straight and decide they are not going to be complete cads, lest the rest of the club find out they don't belong there to begin with. And they will, trust me I know. It is not that different than certain neighborhoods. BTDT, seen it with my own eyes.

I think it rude they asked for the money. You should really just pay it and decide you realize where their priorities truly are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK - I have not read all the responses but enough to see that the majority said not to pay.
NP here and giving the couple the benefit of the doubt (although VERY tacky).....
I belong to a country club and there was a 4th of July party that had a lot of fun activities but it was very expensive per person. I dont remember the exact cost but it was up to $100pp for food, fire works, pool activities, face painting etc.
We pay dues and have a credit of a couple hundred dollars each month. I had asked another family to join us and they agreed and I cant tell you how stressed out I was over this......money is super tight now and both of us or working so hard to make ends meet (this was not the case pre horrific economy) so friends are used to us picking up the tab. We just cannot do it anymore. I cannot tell you how relieved I was when the other family cancelled on us. Not bc I dont love them but bc I did not realize that we would shell out an additional $400 when we can barely pay our mortgage right now. I just think it is tacky that the other family did not go over the price beforehand so that you were prepared.

This is what is wrong with this country. WTF is wrong with you?????

Agreed. And please don't tell my family that we need to pay more in taxes to bail out morons like this.

[Anonymous]

^^ Hello Pot! How black is the kettle today, anyway?

[Anonymous]

sorry. Pot/kettle was in reference to the Pollyanna poster.

[Anonymous]

OP, we were also invited to our friends' club for 4th of July. At the end of the dinner, when the bill came for the host to sign, DH offered to pay our family's share. The host initially declined, but his wife accepted. So DH handed over the money, and that was that. Were we surprised that we weren't being taken as guests? Yes, indeed. Will it end the friendship? Absolutely not. Will we think twice about accepting an invitation again, when the cost was extremely high for what amounted to a few hours in a pool and a dinner of fried food? Absolutely.

I suggest that you to just pay the bill with no comment. I do not think your proposed response looks like you're taking the high road. Just pay the bill, grouse to your DH and to the other hundred or so of us reading this, and move on - lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Cry me a river! If you can barely afford your martgage right now, WHY do you HAVE to be part of a CC? You are doing NO ONE, including yourself, any favors. Priorities much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to play golf at PP's club. It sounds lovely.

Me too. And I have $500.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we were also invited to our friends' club for 4th of July. At the end of the dinner, when the bill came for the host to sign, DH offered to pay our family's share. The host initially declined, but his wife accepted. So DH handed over the money, and that was that. Were we surprised that we weren't being taken as guests? Yes, indeed. Will it end the friendship? Absolutely not. Will we think twice about accepting an invitation again, when the cost was extremely high for what amounted to a few hours in a pool and a dinner of fried food? Absolutely.

I suggest that you to just pay the bill with no comment. I do not think your proposed response looks like you're taking the high road. Just pay the bill, grouse to your DH and to the other hundred or so of us reading this, and move on - lesson learned.

Wow. I bet there was a fight at their house that night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We are actually going to put a hold on our membership next month - we just wanted the kids to enjoy the pool this summer. If we stop paying we wont get re-instated and lose or initial initiation so we will just hold it in hopes things get better again. Regardless - $400 is a lot to shell out for some of these extra activities. Hosting someone to come enjoy the pool for a day and pay for lunch, ice cream and drinks is do-able but these other events during the holidays are getting more and more expensive. Last year it was $30pp for 4th of July and 300+ showed up, this year it was $100 and only 100 showed up. Even if you can afford the membership, some of these extra things are too much.

Yo, dumbass. They have public pools - and some of them are pretty nice. Maybe your just not CC material.

Is your public school where you learned the words...YO and dumbass? Sign me up stat!

Furthermore, it's you're, not your. Yo, who's the dumbass now?

Not PP, but no it isn't. Here is a quick less.

It is YOUR school, or your pool.

YOU'RE a dumbass.

YOUR= possessive
YOU'RE = You Are

In your sentence, it would read "Is You are public school where you learned the words?" That is clearly wrong.

Don't try to correct people incorrectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We are actually going to put a hold on our membership next month - we just wanted the kids to enjoy the pool this summer. If we stop paying we wont get re-instated and lose or initial initiation so we will just hold it in hopes things get better again. Regardless - $400 is a lot to shell out for some of these extra activities. Hosting someone to come enjoy the pool for a day and pay for lunch, ice cream and drinks is do-able but these other events during the holidays are getting more and more expensive. Last year it was $30pp for 4th of July and 300+ showed up, this year it was $100 and only 100 showed up. Even if you can afford the membership, some of these extra things are too much.

Yo, dumbass. They have public pools - and some of them are pretty nice. Maybe your just not CC material.

Is your public school where you learned the words...YO and dumbass? Sign me up stat!

Furthermore, it's you're, not your. Yo, who's the dumbass now?

Not PP, but no it isn't. Here is a quick less.

It is YOUR school, or your pool.

YOU'RE a dumbass.

YOUR= possessive
YOU'RE = You Are

In your sentence, it would read "Is You are public school where you learned the words?" That is clearly wrong.

Don't try to correct people incorrectly.

Hmmm, I think that PP was referring to this incorrect usage of "your." Maybe your just not CC material

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We are actually going to put a hold on our membership next month - we just wanted the kids to enjoy the pool this summer. If we stop paying we wont get re-instated and lose or initial initiation so we will just hold it in hopes things get better again. Regardless - $400 is a lot to shell out for some of these extra activities. Hosting someone to come enjoy the pool for a day and pay for lunch, ice cream and drinks is do-able but these other events during the holidays are getting more and more expensive. Last year it was $30pp for 4th of July and 300+ showed up, this year it was $100 and only 100 showed up. Even if you can afford the membership, some of these extra things are too much.

Yo, dumbass. They have public pools - and some of them are pretty nice. Maybe your just not CC material.

Is your public school where you learned the words...YO and dumbass? Sign me up stat!

Furthermore, it's you're, not your. Yo, who's the dumbass now?

Not PP, but no it isn't. Here is a quick less.

It is YOUR school, or your pool.

YOU'RE a dumbass.

YOUR= possessive
YOU'RE = You Are

In your sentence, it would read "Is You are public school where you learned the words?" That is clearly wrong.

Don't try to correct people incorrectly.

I didn't correct anyone incorrectly. The sentence in question was, "Maybe your not cc material." Clearly incorrect. So, smart ass, don't you correct people incorrectly!

[Anonymous]

I personally think it is funny when some one from this area tries to correct my grammar or punctuation. It makes me laugh the rest of the day. Enjoy it PP!

[Anonymous]

PP she/he was referring to the following sentence:
" Maybe your just not CC material" not the sentence you are 'correcting'.
The correct usage there is "you're" not "your" as the poster correctly pointed out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
We are actually going to put a hold on our membership next month - we just wanted the kids to enjoy the pool this summer. If we stop paying we wont get re-instated and lose or initial initiation so we will just hold it in hopes things get better again. Regardless - $400 is a lot to shell out for some of these extra activities. Hosting someone to come enjoy the pool for a day and pay for lunch, ice cream and drinks is do-able but these other events during the holidays are getting more and more expensive. Last year it was $30pp for 4th of July and 300+ showed up, this year it was $100 and only 100 showed up. Even if you can afford the membership, some of these extra things are too much.

Yo, dumbass. They have public pools - and some of them are pretty nice. Maybe your just not CC material.

Is your public school where you learned the words...YO and dumbass? Sign me up stat!

Furthermore, it's you're, not your. Yo, who's the dumbass now?

Not PP, but no it isn't. Here is a quick less.

It is YOUR school, or your pool.

YOU'RE a dumbass.

YOUR= possessive
YOU'RE = You Are

In your sentence, it would read "Is You are public school where you learned the words?" That is clearly wrong.

Don't try to correct people incorrectly.