My ex is married and has a baby due any day now. We haven’t been broken up two years yet…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A. You're a troll doing an anti-abortion thing.

B. You're stupid. He told you he divorced over his wife's decision not to have kids. You took his lukewarm reaction as a signal he didn't want kids. He moved on to someone who actually really did want kids. And now you're left all by yourself with no kids. Congrats.

Pick A or B.

Either way, you're completely ridiculous and should be ashamed of yourself.

I didn’t add this part but before I got pregnant, months prior, I mentioned us moving into together and he didn’t want to. I got spooked by his reaction even more so because I thought, if he didn’t want to live together and he didn’t automatically jump for joy, I thought he didn’t want the baby?

OP.

Don't you see that you were the rebound relationship? He wanted a kid, but he wasn't sure that you were the right mother. It *might* have worked if you'd decided to keep the kid, or it might not. No one can tell you for sure.

I do have to push back on this man being a jerk. He's not. He did nothing wrong. He didn't cheat on you, lie to you, or do anything untoward. He wasn't all that enthused about you, and when you had the abortion, he realized that if he wanted children and marriage, he would need to get his act together and find someone else, so he left. And since he was super ready, he found someone else quickly and made it happen.

I can understand why you feel hurt, but objectively, he did nothing wrong. If roles were reversed (as they so often are), and it's the man who doesn't want kids, DCUM always tells the woman to leave the relationship so they can look for a man who does!

There is nothing hard to understand about any of this.

This is all spot on, except the bolded - he was sure that OP wasn't the right partner for him, and therefore not the right mother for his child.

All of this. OP's feelings are magnified perhaps because her biological window is closing.
It was an unbalanced relationship and OP's pregnancy made that very obvious. Most women would have ended such a relationship after an abortion. In this case, he did.

[Anonymous]

Truly, I will never understand why someone would want to be with someone who clearly doesn’t feel the same way about them.

As soon as I see a lack of interest-I am out. Why do so many people do this? They try to hold on to a relationship where the other person simply does not care. I really don’t get it.

It’s simple, he wasn’t that into you. That’s why you were on and off again anyway. Now he has moved on and had a baby with a person he wants. It hurts, but it’s just the simple reality.

You will meet someone eventually who is obsessed with you and wants to be with you 100%-then you will see how much you were missing and how much better off you are without that guy.

[Anonymous]

I call AI slop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. Bad guy to encourage an abortion. You truly dodged a bullet. It may take 2 or 5 or 10 years, but the chickens always come home to roost and one day you'll be with a great guy and be thankful you didn't get stuck with this one.

This

He was a dead end and still is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. Bad guy to encourage an abortion. You truly dodged a bullet. It may take 2 or 5 or 10 years, but the chickens always come home to roost and one day you'll be with a great guy and be thankful you didn't get stuck with this one.

This

He was a dead end and still is.

Not this. He moved on to start a family. He was a dead end for OP but that doesn’t make him a bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Truly, I will never understand why someone would want to be with someone who clearly doesn’t feel the same way about them.

As soon as I see a lack of interest-I am out. Why do so many people do this? They try to hold on to a relationship where the other person simply does not care. I really don’t get it.

It’s simple, he wasn’t that into you. That’s why you were on and off again anyway. Now he has moved on and had a baby with a person he wants. It hurts, but it’s just the simple reality.

You will meet someone eventually who is obsessed with you and wants to be with you 100%-then you will see how much you were missing and how much better off you are without that guy.

Saying he wants this new woman is a stretch, no? I’m not sure how you can make that assumption. Should could just be a means to an end for all we know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly, I will never understand why someone would want to be with someone who clearly doesn’t feel the same way about them.

As soon as I see a lack of interest-I am out. Why do so many people do this? They try to hold on to a relationship where the other person simply does not care. I really don’t get it.

It’s simple, he wasn’t that into you. That’s why you were on and off again anyway. Now he has moved on and had a baby with a person he wants. It hurts, but it’s just the simple reality.

You will meet someone eventually who is obsessed with you and wants to be with you 100%-then you will see how much you were missing and how much better off you are without that guy.

Saying he wants this new woman is a stretch, no? I’m not sure how you can make that assumption. Should could just be a means to an end for all we know.

He wants her more than he wanted Op, since he is willing to have a baby with her and not with OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly, I will never understand why someone would want to be with someone who clearly doesn’t feel the same way about them.

As soon as I see a lack of interest-I am out. Why do so many people do this? They try to hold on to a relationship where the other person simply does not care. I really don’t get it.

It’s simple, he wasn’t that into you. That’s why you were on and off again anyway. Now he has moved on and had a baby with a person he wants. It hurts, but it’s just the simple reality.

You will meet someone eventually who is obsessed with you and wants to be with you 100%-then you will see how much you were missing and how much better off you are without that guy.

Saying he wants this new woman is a stretch, no? I’m not sure how you can make that assumption. Should could just be a means to an end for all we know.

He wants her more than he wanted Op, since he is willing to have a baby with her and not with OP.

Again, how can you come to this conclusion? (Genuinely asking). Maybe this woman decided to keep the baby so he stayed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly, I will never understand why someone would want to be with someone who clearly doesn’t feel the same way about them.

As soon as I see a lack of interest-I am out. Why do so many people do this? They try to hold on to a relationship where the other person simply does not care. I really don’t get it.

It’s simple, he wasn’t that into you. That’s why you were on and off again anyway. Now he has moved on and had a baby with a person he wants. It hurts, but it’s just the simple reality.

You will meet someone eventually who is obsessed with you and wants to be with you 100%-then you will see how much you were missing and how much better off you are without that guy.

Saying he wants this new woman is a stretch, no? I’m not sure how you can make that assumption. Should could just be a means to an end for all we know.

He wants her more than he wanted Op, since he is willing to have a baby with her and not with OP.

Again, how can you come to this conclusion? (Genuinely asking). Maybe this woman decided to keep the baby so he stayed?

Why does it even matter? The point is he wasn’t into OP. So why does it matter if he’s into this next one or not? It still doesn’t change the fact that it doesn’t make sense that people chase after others who have shown they simply don’t care that much. I don’t know if it’s a self esteem thing or the belief some have “that they will never find anyone better” which of course is simply not true. I am a strong believer that there is someone for everybody and this person wasn’t OP’s somebody and OP wasn’t her ex’s somebody. Who even cares what he is doing with his life now? He didn’t want OP-that’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Truly, I will never understand why someone would want to be with someone who clearly doesn’t feel the same way about them.

As soon as I see a lack of interest-I am out. Why do so many people do this? They try to hold on to a relationship where the other person simply does not care. I really don’t get it.

It’s simple, he wasn’t that into you. That’s why you were on and off again anyway. Now he has moved on and had a baby with a person he wants. It hurts, but it’s just the simple reality.

You will meet someone eventually who is obsessed with you and wants to be with you 100%-then you will see how much you were missing and how much better off you are without that guy.

Saying he wants this new woman is a stretch, no? I’m not sure how you can make that assumption. Should could just be a means to an end for all we know.

He wants her more than he wanted Op, since he is willing to have a baby with her and not with OP.

Again, how can you come to this conclusion? (Genuinely asking). Maybe this woman decided to keep the baby so he stayed?

Why does it even matter? The point is he wasn’t into OP. So why does it matter if he’s into this next one or not? It still doesn’t change the fact that it doesn’t make sense that people chase after others who have shown they simply don’t care that much. I don’t know if it’s a self esteem thing or the belief some have “that they will never find anyone better” which of course is simply not true. I am a strong believer that there is someone for everybody and this person wasn’t OP’s somebody and OP wasn’t her ex’s somebody. Who even cares what he is doing with his life now? He didn’t want OP-that’s it.

Because DCUM wants him to be a Bad Guy who forced her to have an abortion. OP has no personal responsibility in this matter.

[Anonymous]

Never be with a man you love more than he loves you. That is the best advice I can give you.
I would never get an abortion for a man. I would decide what I was going to do, realize I can count on nothing from anyone, and if I keep the baby, it will be my responsibility.
Did you not think about what you wanted? Are you a slave to some boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I think you dodged a bullet op. Be glad you are not with this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. Bad guy to encourage an abortion. You truly dodged a bullet. It may take 2 or 5 or 10 years, but the chickens always come home to roost and one day you'll be with a great guy and be thankful you didn't get stuck with this one.

How in the actual F did he encourage the abortion. She said she was going to get an abortion, his response according to OP was he would support her decision whatever she wanted to do. His response was essentially, your body your choice.

Exactly. Had he said literally anything else, DCUM would have been all over him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would let this go.

He knew the other person a lot longer. Plus his relationship with you may have changed his thinking in unknowable ways, good or bad.

He probably told you what he thought he should say...that it was up to you what to do.

The fact that you decided the way you did suggests you weren't madly in love with him. And his reaction suggests he wasn't madly in love with you. So you parted.

You can complain a little about how unfair the universe is but I don't think you lost out on a great dad and husband. Move on.

I was madly in love with him though. I decided what I did because I thought he didn’t want the baby.

You murdered his child because you failed to communicate. Every man I know who wants kids broke up immediately with women who murdered their children. I know 3 who have left women that had abortions. Some men take that personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex (37) and I were together on and off for 2.5 years (we started off casual, why the off). He had been divorced almost 3 years by the time we started seeing each other. He told me he didn’t really want to get remarried again, unless she was pregnant (his ex wife decided after they were married she didn’t want kids - why they broke up). 2 years into our relationship I got pregnant. I told him and he didn’t immediately jump for joy, or say anything really except for “okay”, so I reacted very quickly and told him I wasn’t going to keep it. To which he said, “I’ll support whatever you decide”. So, I got an abortion. Our relationship took a nose dive after this. We had been fighting before this, but after this, it got a lot worse. We had a blow up and he told me he couldn’t do it anymore in mid-July 2024.

I find out that October he was in a relationship with someone else and they started seeing each other in late August. They announced their engagement in February this year, and then announced the pregnancy a week ago. She looks so pretty far along, like 8/9 months far along. This means she’s been pregnant since last year, which also means she got pregnant within a year of them being together. Today I find out that they’re officially married? Apparently this is someone he met/has known since college.…

Honestly, I’m crushed. How could he move on so quickly and in such a major way? It hasn’t even been a full two years since we broke up. I got pregnant first but she gets the family and the marriage? My head is spinning a bit.

There are some lessons learned here:

1. If you want to get married, don’t date a man who tells you at the outset that he doesn’t want that unless the woman is pregnant.

2. Don’t get pregnant unless you’re both on board with it and want to be together. It’s not clear if you got pregnant on purpose, but you said you wanted to marry him, the relationship wasn’t going well, you knew he would only marry a woman if she was pregnant, and you thought he would be thrilled when you told him about your pregnancy. This suggests you got pregnant on purpose and this is a really bad idea in this situation.

Forget about this man, learn from this situation, and focus on finding a man who wants the same things you do.

My read on the bolder was he really wanted kids and not to deal with infertility issues. Like seriously only marrying a certified breeder.