My daughter is really disappointed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

How many supplements did she write?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

Cheers to all the spots that will open up on the WL once OP's kid chooses a school! LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if this is really a troll. DD goes to school with many 2nd generation kids who have been told since birth that they have to go ivy. These kids work so hard, are competitive in ways that can alienate potential friends, have high gpas, and are crushed bc they got into CMU or Rice or JHU and not the ivy their parents wanted. The parents can make it really difficult.

I agree. If this is true for OP, she should have her kid choose among the Ivy League schools that accepted her. Makes it easy, actually.

Or figure out what was missing in her application, take a gap year to address that, and then re-apply next year.

She got into Dartmouth, Brown, I can’t even remember the rest, and you suggest declining that, a gap year, and trying again??? She’s not going to get into Penn or Yale next year either, and then what?

Yep, I think if OP's daughter would b unhappy at Brown or Dartmouth, she shouldn't go. Take a year, go to a boarding school finishing school, learn another language or instrument, and then shoot your shot for the school you deem worthy of you. Don't pay 1/2 a mil for a school you feel you're settling for.

But also, college is what you make of it, and if go into it with a negative attitude, you're not going to get much out of it. Honestly OP's daughter sounds like a failure-to-launch case in the making, and if I were the OP I wouldn't pay for an expensive school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

What’s wrong with Brown? That’s a dream school for many kids.

What are her career goals?

So, she so worries that Brown won’t have the right quality of education for her major choices, double major in Math/Physics, and she possibly wants to attend Med school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if this is really a troll. DD goes to school with many 2nd generation kids who have been told since birth that they have to go ivy. These kids work so hard, are competitive in ways that can alienate potential friends, have high gpas, and are crushed bc they got into CMU or Rice or JHU and not the ivy their parents wanted. The parents can make it really difficult.

I agree. If this is true for OP, she should have her kid choose among the Ivy League schools that accepted her. Makes it easy, actually.

Or figure out what was missing in her application, take a gap year to address that, and then re-apply next year.

Oh dear lord, no.

Based on what OP has shared about their DD, that seems like a mental health disaster waiting to happen.

Pick a school and bloom where you're planted.

Freshman year at whatever school OP's daughter attends is the mental health disaster waiting to happen. This girl needs to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Ask yourself how she got this way, with unreasonable expectations and entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

That didn’t answer my question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Ask yourself how she got this way, with unreasonable expectations and entitlement.

And/or pressure from the parents. She is disappointed because her parents are. They are too fixated on the “right schools.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

What’s wrong with Brown? That’s a dream school for many kids.

What are her career goals?

So, she so worries that Brown won’t have the right quality of education for her major choices, double major in Math/Physics, and she possibly wants to attend Med school.

This indicates that she doesn't really know Brown at all. It is strong in both Math/Physics (with super strong applied math and also the innovative "physics and philosophy" choice) and also pre-med general focus areas (biology, biomedical, etc.). It's also very appealing to many pre-meds because of its reputation for grade inflation, enhanced by the generous credit/no credit (i.e., pass/fail) system for classes not in your concentration.

This is either a troll situation or a kid woefully blinded by rankings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

What’s wrong with Brown? That’s a dream school for many kids.

What are her career goals?

So, she so worries that Brown won’t have the right quality of education for her major choices, double major in Math/Physics, and she possibly wants to attend Med school.

This indicates that she doesn't really know Brown at all. It is strong in both Math/Physics (with super strong applied math and also the innovative "physics and philosophy" choice) and also pre-med general focus areas (biology, biomedical, etc.). It's also very appealing to many pre-meds because of its reputation for grade inflation, enhanced by the generous credit/no credit (i.e., pass/fail) system for classes not in your concentration.

This is either a troll situation or a kid woefully blinded by rankings.

I should add that Brown, among Ivies, is the easiest place to do a double major because the freedom of the Open Curriculum facilitates it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Are YOU disappointed too, or just your daughter? I’m asking because you seem to normalize her drama. Has nobody learned from those tragedies following Ivy Days in the past?

I’m disappointed and sad for her, this just really doesn’t feel fair. Now, my daughter doesn’t feel like going to college at all. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wasn’t there an identical thread just the other day?

If only you can imagine that more than one person feels this way or has had this experience. . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

How many supplements did she write?

34. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: Are YOU disappointed too, or just your daughter? I’m asking because you seem to normalize her drama. Has nobody learned from those tragedies following Ivy Days in the past?

I’m disappointed and sad for her, this just really doesn’t feel fair. Now, my daughter doesn’t feel like going to college at all. -OP

Who would?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my daughter’s favorite schools were Yale and Stanford, though even those weren’t perfect in her eyes. She really didn’t like Cornell, Northwestern, Dartmouth, or Vanderbilt for a bunch of different reasons. She did like UVA and Duke (kind of), but didn’t get into those either.

What’s been hardest is getting waitlisted at Harvard, Yale, and UPenn—it hurts a lot because it feels like she *could* have gotten in, just got unlucky. So now she’s taking it as that she’s a stupid failure, even though that’s not really fair. -OP

Why did she apply to schools she really didn’t like? Especially reach schools she really didn’t like?

She applied to 34 schools. All of the top30 plus a few safeties.

How many supplements did she write?

34. -OP

Interesting that all 34 schools required supplements. I thought some you mentioned do not, but regardless, could she go back and look at the "Why Us?" essay for the ones she was accepted to and see if she was telling the truth in any of them? It's weird that she applied to schools where she didn't actually want to attend, yet their applications require a lot of extra work. Were the "Why Us" essays credible at all?