My daughter is really disappointed

[Anonymous]

When you apply to top schools as a top student:

EXPECT REJECTION.

This is the category of applicants most likely to get a rejection even when they check all the boxes. Not because they're unqualified. Because there aren't enough seats.

OP, this was on YOU to reiterate to your child that applying to such schools was probably going to lead to nothing. Statistically, this is what happens. So your child had the statistically realistic outcome. None of this should come as a surprise. Again, not because she's a bad candidate. Just because there is extremely little chance of being accepted at any of these schools.

Parents really need to understand this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

I find this very hard to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

Wow, being WL at any one of these schools is a sign that your DD was extremely competitive among the applicant pool. What is at the top of the ones where she was accepted?

Cornell
Northwestern
Dartmouth
Umich
Brown
Vanderbilt & more

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

I felt like her counselor didn't do their job.

These are sub-5% schools in RD, H, Y, Penn, Duke, and JHU are extremely unlikely. Lottery.

Why didn't she ED to these schools?

Her chance of getting in one of these is much higher if she EA UVA, ED Penn, and ED2 JHU.

[Anonymous]

It happens every year. Among those who do not ED and apply to ivies/reaches they often do not get their first choice or even second. Ours got their tied-for -3rd which happens to be an ivy and in the top 10 overall but it still stung a little to get waitlist at the first two choices. They are doing very well and were lucky to have other options in the top-10 to choose from. Plus they went into it knowing that getting even one top 10/ivy would be a win.

[Anonymous]

Why would she think she would get in anywhere but community college? She has anger problems?
Going to be long and hard life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

Wow, being WL at any one of these schools is a sign that your DD was extremely competitive among the applicant pool. What is at the top of the ones where she was accepted?

Cornell
Northwestern
Dartmouth
Umich
Brown
Vanderbilt & more

She was accepted to these schools and still upset?
Damn ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids was like that, even though they were admitted to multiple Ivies (just not to the top three they wanted). Yes, I am bragging but I am also commiserating with OP. It still hurts me to think about. Life is so painful. My other kids have experienced losses and disappointments too, in other arenas. It's hard because you want to tell them the right thing to make it better but all you can do is help them get through to the other side.

Yes, I know this is a "privileged" or entitled problem to have but that doesn't make it any less painful so f-off ahead of time to the haters.

Oh just shut up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

I felt like her counselor didn't do their job.

These are sub-5% schools in RD, H, Y, Penn, Duke, and JHU are extremely unlikely. Lottery.

Why didn't she ED to these schools?

Her chance of getting in one of these is much higher if she EA UVA, ED Penn, and ED2 JHU.

She was deferred from UVA, then waitlisted. She applied RD to UPenn & JHU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

Wow, being WL at any one of these schools is a sign that your DD was extremely competitive among the applicant pool. What is at the top of the ones where she was accepted?

Cornell
Northwestern
Dartmouth
Umich
Brown
Vanderbilt & more

Ok. Thanks for telling us you are a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

I felt like her counselor didn't do their job.

These are sub-5% schools in RD, H, Y, Penn, Duke, and JHU are extremely unlikely. Lottery.

Why didn't she ED to these schools?

Her chance of getting in one of these is much higher if she EA UVA, ED Penn, and ED2 JHU.

She might have been deferred or rejected from ED school. Unlike 35 school mom, I find this thread believable.

I am sorry, OP. I am sure it hurts. Other than UVA depending on where you are from, these are not reaches, they are Super Reaches/Aspirational/Lottery schools for anyone. Of course it is disappointing but everyone should assume rejection.

The lesson for the rest of us is, no matter how strong your kid is as an applicant, assume everything under 20% admissions rate a reach or super reach and find multiple targets that you are genuinely happy with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

Wow, being WL at any one of these schools is a sign that your DD was extremely competitive among the applicant pool. What is at the top of the ones where she was accepted?

Cornell
Northwestern
Dartmouth
Umich
Brown
Vanderbilt & more

wait, what?

You really had me going.


I don't get the trolling, I really don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The key is "all the hard work for nothing".

For nothing?

How about being prepared for college, career and life? If she accomplished that, is that "nothing"?

+1. There is also satisfaction in knowing you gave it your best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was able to attend my top choice, I never would have met the girl across the hall from me in the dorms at the university we both attended.

We are married and have two kids.

DP here and I needed to hear this - things do happen for a reason and I think most kids are happy where they end up.

Yes - this has been our experience, as well. There are a million success stories out there - it does work out well in the end!

But this initial disappointment is real and can be very powerful. It's is an emotional process, as well as a logical/rational one. And it's just the first part of this post-acceptance/rejection phase. It will get easier.

We've seen so many of our friends' kids' feeling crushed at the end of March, followed by an exhausting April (multiple Admitted Students Day visits), followed by a choice that blooms into happiness and even gratitude over time. As in, "I can't believe I wanted to go to X and Y. That would have sucked because I would have missed out on . . . . "

One fun story - We have a family friend (recently graduated from college) who applied ED to a particular school because it had the exact niche program he wanted. He had all the top stats and ECs to match, but was deferred and then rejected. Got into a different highly ranked school that was great in many ways but didn't offer his niche program . . . except, unbeknownst to him, it was starting that up in the fall in an innovative and cool way. So off he went - disappointed and a bit skeptical - and it far surpassed his expectations (and in a way the ED school never could have for structural reasons.)

Kids tend to bloom where they're planted. It doesn't make it easy right now, or even over the summer. Hang in there, validate her emotions (of course she's disappointed right now), and stay steady on her behalf, knowing she'll find her spot and will write her next chapter there.

In a phrase: Keep the faith!