My daughter is really disappointed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP here. No advice, just commiseration. My DD is heading to their 7th choice school after disappointing results and being rejected from all of her reach schools. It's certainly fine, but she worked extremely hard and had some very strong achievements (and no notable deficiencies) and she is very sad.

I can commiserate as well. My daughter last year was a very top student and ended up with 3 choices that maybe were like 7. 8. 9 on her list (I'm estimating--she didn't have anything ranked but this gives the general idea). She chose one (actually the least prestigious so this wasn't a ratings thing) and it's turned out to be a really, really bad fit socially. She's miserable and had previously always been a social, easy-going happy kid. She now seeing a therapist and we are limping towards the finish line and she just turned in >10 transfer apps and our fingers are crossed. It's been a really long road.

so sorry! this seems so sad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Wishing OP’s DD and the PP’s transferring DD very happy endings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP here. No advice, just commiseration. My DD is heading to their 7th choice school after disappointing results and being rejected from all of her reach schools. It's certainly fine, but she worked extremely hard and had some very strong achievements (and no notable deficiencies) and she is very sad.

I can commiserate as well. My daughter last year was a very top student and ended up with 3 choices that maybe were like 7. 8. 9 on her list (I'm estimating--she didn't have anything ranked but this gives the general idea). She chose one (actually the least prestigious so this wasn't a ratings thing) and it's turned out to be a really, really bad fit socially. She's miserable and had previously always been a social, easy-going happy kid. She now seeing a therapist and we are limping towards the finish line and she just turned in >10 transfer apps and our fingers are crossed. It's been a really long road.

Are you the Vandy mom from a different thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

[Anonymous]

Kids who feel terribly disappointed for days on end need better coping skills and perspective. My son was rejected from his reaches and accepted at his targets and safeties. We accepted the results after about a day of being sad. He's content where he ended up (not happy, but content, which our goal in life).

We are a family with a lot of chronic disease. My second child struggles with an auto-immune disease - she's in high school. We know that college admissions disappointment is nothing compared to her health issues. We have unfortunately learned the hard way that health is the most important thing is life. Where my kids go to college is very, very, secondary - even though they're straight A, dozen AP sort of students!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

those are all very high reaches

[Anonymous]

Just let her be. You shouldn't have talked up getting her top choices. You should have said she'd bloom wherever she's planted. So now just say nothing at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

Wow, being WL at any one of these schools is a sign that your DD was extremely competitive among the applicant pool. What is at the top of the ones where she was accepted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids was like that, even though they were admitted to multiple Ivies (just not to the top three they wanted). Yes, I am bragging but I am also commiserating with OP. It still hurts me to think about. Life is so painful. My other kids have experienced losses and disappointments too, in other arenas. It's hard because you want to tell them the right thing to make it better but all you can do is help them get through to the other side.

Yes, I know this is a "privileged" or entitled problem to have but that doesn't make it any less painful so f-off ahead of time to the haters.

Oh FFS. It still hurts to think your kid had to go to Penn instead of Princeton? If these are the things that pain you, I say yes indeed you are incredibly privileged. What self- indulgent nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Look, my daughter got into her dream school at a top LAC and all was fine. She’s now an anxious mess and transferring out, her experience was so terrible.

When your daughter goes to college, she won’t have time to care about where she got rejected. It’s difficult pain for a few months, but it shouldn’t override excitement to be going on to her next stage. Life is filled with rejection and unintended changes in one’s journey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Which schools was she waitlisted from? Some of them move. Work with your school-based counselor to develop a strategy for the best opportunity and let that school know in no uncertain terms that you will enroll if offered a spot. Hang in there!

She doesn’t feel very hopeful. She was waitlisted at JHU, Duke, UVA, Harvard, Yale, and UPenn.

And where is she in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, my daughter got into her dream school at a top LAC and all was fine. She’s now an anxious mess and transferring out, her experience was so terrible.

When your daughter goes to college, she won’t have time to care about where she got rejected. It’s difficult pain for a few months, but it shouldn’t override excitement to be going on to her next stage. Life is filled with rejection and unintended changes in one’s journey.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids was like that, even though they were admitted to multiple Ivies (just not to the top three they wanted). Yes, I am bragging but I am also commiserating with OP. It still hurts me to think about. Life is so painful. My other kids have experienced losses and disappointments too, in other arenas. It's hard because you want to tell them the right thing to make it better but all you can do is help them get through to the other side.

Yes, I know this is a "privileged" or entitled problem to have but that doesn't make it any less painful so f-off ahead of time to the haters.

Nice bit of humble bragg fiction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP here. No advice, just commiseration. My DD is heading to their 7th choice school after disappointing results and being rejected from all of her reach schools. It's certainly fine, but she worked extremely hard and had some very strong achievements (and no notable deficiencies) and she is very sad.

I can commiserate as well. My daughter last year was a very top student and ended up with 3 choices that maybe were like 7. 8. 9 on her list (I'm estimating--she didn't have anything ranked but this gives the general idea). She chose one (actually the least prestigious so this wasn't a ratings thing) and it's turned out to be a really, really bad fit socially. She's miserable and had previously always been a social, easy-going happy kid. She now seeing a therapist and we are limping towards the finish line and she just turned in >10 transfer apps and our fingers are crossed. It's been a really long road.

Are you the Vandy mom from a different thread?

No. Was rejected from Vanderbilt.