My daughter is really disappointed

[Anonymous]

My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry to hear this. I did not get into my top 2 choices, and went to my 3rd by default. (only applied to 3 back then). I planned to do well and transfer out. Turns out I loved the place, the community, my core friends, and the large network after graduation. Never regretted staying. Just like the boy who breaks up with you in HS, it feels like the end of the world, but is not. Another door will open. Hugs and best to your family OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s really feeling down right now. She’s been waitlisted or rejected her top-choice schools, and it hurts. She feels angry and like a failure who worked so hard for nothing and is worried her future won’t look the same. She’s been sad, worried, and crying a lot. We’re not sure how to help her through this or what to do next.

Didn’t you post this last week or the week before?

Surely she got in somewhere? She will bloom where she is planted.

[Anonymous]

The most important thing is for you not to buy into her thinking and for you to stay strong in your belief that where she goes does not define her or her future.

Then, as a family, get excited about where she will go. Go to the admitted student day. Remind her and each other why she applied there. What special programming does it offer? How well your daughter take advantage of being a strong student there?

[Anonymous]

Hug her and take her to admitted students day for her remaining choices. Let her know she will not feel like this in the fall.

[Anonymous]

Wasn’t there an identical thread just the other day?

[Anonymous]

If I was able to attend my top choice, I never would have met the girl across the hall from me in the dorms at the university we both attended.

We are married and have two kids.

[Anonymous]

DP here. No advice, just commiseration. My DD is heading to their 7th choice school after disappointing results and being rejected from all of her reach schools. It's certainly fine, but she worked extremely hard and had some very strong achievements (and no notable deficiencies) and she is very sad.

[Anonymous]

Not this again....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wasn’t there an identical thread just the other day?

I would think there are probably many kids around here who are like the one in the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was able to attend my top choice, I never would have met the girl across the hall from me in the dorms at the university we both attended.

We are married and have two kids.

DP here and I needed to hear this - things do happen for a reason and I think most kids are happy where they end up.

[Anonymous]

One of my kids was like that, even though they were admitted to multiple Ivies (just not to the top three they wanted). Yes, I am bragging but I am also commiserating with OP. It still hurts me to think about. Life is so painful. My other kids have experienced losses and disappointments too, in other arenas. It's hard because you want to tell them the right thing to make it better but all you can do is help them get through to the other side.

Yes, I know this is a "privileged" or entitled problem to have but that doesn't make it any less painful so f-off ahead of time to the haters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP here. No advice, just commiseration. My DD is heading to their 7th choice school after disappointing results and being rejected from all of her reach schools. It's certainly fine, but she worked extremely hard and had some very strong achievements (and no notable deficiencies) and she is very sad.

Are you saying that she applied to 6 reach schools?

And why would she be surprised that she was rejected from all of these schools? Inherent in the definition of the word "reach" is the unlikeness to be admitted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP here. No advice, just commiseration. My DD is heading to their 7th choice school after disappointing results and being rejected from all of her reach schools. It's certainly fine, but she worked extremely hard and had some very strong achievements (and no notable deficiencies) and she is very sad.

I can commiserate as well. My daughter last year was a very top student and ended up with 3 choices that maybe were like 7. 8. 9 on her list (I'm estimating--she didn't have anything ranked but this gives the general idea). She chose one (actually the least prestigious so this wasn't a ratings thing) and it's turned out to be a really, really bad fit socially. She's miserable and had previously always been a social, easy-going happy kid. She now seeing a therapist and we are limping towards the finish line and she just turned in >10 transfer apps and our fingers are crossed. It's been a really long road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP here. No advice, just commiseration. My DD is heading to their 7th choice school after disappointing results and being rejected from all of her reach schools. It's certainly fine, but she worked extremely hard and had some very strong achievements (and no notable deficiencies) and she is very sad.

I can commiserate as well. My daughter last year was a very top student and ended up with 3 choices that maybe were like 7. 8. 9 on her list (I'm estimating--she didn't have anything ranked but this gives the general idea). She chose one (actually the least prestigious so this wasn't a ratings thing) and it's turned out to be a really, really bad fit socially. She's miserable and had previously always been a social, easy-going happy kid. She now seeing a therapist and we are limping towards the finish line and she just turned in >10 transfer apps and our fingers are crossed. It's been a really long road.

Good luck to you and your DD, PP.