Anti aging and pedophilic patriarchy

[Anonymous]

It’s weird hypocrisy because a lot of women who are into anti-aging, and say that it’s fine and that they do it for themselves, also believe that their more attractive at 50, then they were at 20.. which one is it? You can’t have it both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anti aging is about looking 25, not 17.

This. Plus at 48 no matter what I do, I will never ever look even 30 much less like a child.

So dumb. I really hate when other women create these dumb posts to tell us what we should be doing with our bodies. Go gray, never shave, be flabby. WHO CARES. I'll do whatever I damn well please with my body. I dont have to justify it to anyone.

Riiight. You don’t care. Great for you. Admit it that part of this system is non stop pressure to look younger for men, to be concerned about young women being around our partners, to speak “gently” never being straightforward about what we want etc. You’re not being honest when you try to deny that this pressure is pervasive and non stop.

It’s ludicrous and delusional to deny this.

No, that's the kind of woman YOU are. Stop projecting your stupidity onto me and stop blaming men for being a pushover. I have always spoken my mind, worn what I wanted to wear, cut my hair super short when I wanted to, and grown it out when I wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman who has always looked young for my age and spent my 20s and early 30s looking like a 13 yr old girl (almost no curves, very thin, very young looking face), I already knew this.

In my 20s, I very rapidly learned that my appearance had a tendency to attract men who had straight up pedophilia leanings. I got hit on and asked out by older men a lot, and quickly started self selecting only towards men my own age or even a couple years younger as a safety precaution. Many men were extremely open about what they found appealing about me and my body, including just telling me that my size and appearance made them feel "powerful" or "like a protector". I was sexually assaulted when I was 26 which made me incredibly wary of men in general but especially any man who was physically much bigger than I was or seemed sexually aggressive in any way.

I'm much older now (mid-40s) and no longer have this look. I've had kids and look more womanly and my face has aged. I have never had any desire to try and preserve my youthful appearance and actually love that I look mature and adult now. I have a lot of emotional scars from my experiences, not just with sexual assault but with a whole variety of of manipulative and exploitative relationships (especially in work settings) that in retrospect I think had a lot to do with how young and innocent I looked, which I think drew in people who have these impulses to dominate and overpower other people (men AND women, btw, anyone who thinks there are no women with these impulses is wrong).

The entire Epstein case has been both upsetting for me, dragging up old trauma, but it also feels like a relief in many ways. Listening to people talk about how they had no idea so many people were so interested in young women, or felt comfortable with the exploitation of young women whether they participated or not, feels deeply validating.

People like to "other" sexual predators, but I view it as all part of a big continuum that many people you know and encounter every day are on. A lot of people just want to be able to force other people to do what they want, and a lot of people settle on young women (either actual girls or just young adult women who they feel they can physically and emotionally control) as a target for those desires.

The answer is empowerment of women and of children. The answer is a culture of consent. This means a lot of people, including people who think they are feminist or would never endorse exploitation but who regularly uphold systems that disempower women, children, immigrants, and others, need to rethink what they think they know about the world. I hope the Epstein files are a step in that direction.

I think they are a step in the right direction. Some men may be consumers of exploitive relationships, but they certainly don't want it for their daughters. Men who care and are involved parents want their daughters to be strong, empowered, and make their own money. They want them to eventually partner up with someone their own age, from a good family, who will treat them with respect and be a good father to their grandchildren. I think that once men have daughters, they are less likely to objectify and exploit young women. I hope that is true. Unfortunately, it's less likely our daugthers who are exploited. It is poor and often immigrant girls who don't have people like us to protect them.

Unfortunately this isn’t true - many of these men want their partners to be subservient but their daughters not to be. It doesn’t make them to reassess what they want from a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are more women finally making the connection between the beauty industries emphasis on anti-aging products and the pedophilic nature of patriarchy? has it finally hit you that your obsession with not looking "old" caters to the predatory male gaze?"

Agree or disagree?

Agree. Patriarchy, rape culture, pedophile culture. It's the world we live in and informs everything. Religion, politics, media, advertising. And it's almost impossible to grasp the extent. Naming it is a start. Workplace sexual harassment and date rape were concepts that didn't exist 50 years ago. Once we named it we could start to fight back.

The beauty industry encourages eating disorders and body modification. I support individuals expressing themselves however they choose. It's impossible for me to judge how much of what we do is truly an individual decision, and not due to social conditioning.

I am not sure why there is this resistance to the idea that beauty/ grooming standards are socially constructed. Sure, there may be some activities--manicure, styling an outfit, massage--that may entail some inherent physical or creative pleasure. But the vast majority--hair dye, waxing, plucking--are painful and/or involve expense. Of course, we only do this for social sanction.

Sure. But if I quit hair dye, waxing, plucking.. am I not just conforming to a different social construct? We can't dress ourselves out of rape culture. Women get raped when they're covered head to foot. Is it possible to Beautify ourselves out of paedophile culture? I agree there are lots of ways to opt out, but believe the prior poster had it right about focusing on consent.

Completely agree. And also, I find it extremely disgusting that we are talking about what women do with their appearance to supposedly perpetuate pedophilia done by men. I am not responsible for what men do and how men think.

So much delusion and denial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are more women finally making the connection between the beauty industries emphasis on anti-aging products and the pedophilic nature of patriarchy? has it finally hit you that your obsession with not looking "old" caters to the predatory male gaze?"

Agree or disagree?

Agree. Patriarchy, rape culture, pedophile culture. It's the world we live in and informs everything. Religion, politics, media, advertising. And it's almost impossible to grasp the extent. Naming it is a start. Workplace sexual harassment and date rape were concepts that didn't exist 50 years ago. Once we named it we could start to fight back.

The beauty industry encourages eating disorders and body modification. I support individuals expressing themselves however they choose. It's impossible for me to judge how much of what we do is truly an individual decision, and not due to social conditioning.

I am not sure why there is this resistance to the idea that beauty/ grooming standards are socially constructed. Sure, there may be some activities--manicure, styling an outfit, massage--that may entail some inherent physical or creative pleasure. But the vast majority--hair dye, waxing, plucking--are painful and/or involve expense. Of course, we only do this for social sanction.

Sure. But if I quit hair dye, waxing, plucking.. am I not just conforming to a different social construct? We can't dress ourselves out of rape culture. Women get raped when they're covered head to foot. Is it possible to Beautify ourselves out of paedophile culture? I agree there are lots of ways to opt out, but believe the prior poster had it right about focusing on consent.

Completely agree. And also, I find it extremely disgusting that we are talking about what women do with their appearance to supposedly perpetuate pedophilia done by men. I am not responsible for what men do and how men think.

So much delusion and denial.

I'll say it again becasue clearly you didn't read it the first time. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF MEN!!!

[Anonymous]

My 21 yo daughter and all her friends wax everything off. While it’s completely her choice, I do inwardly cringe when I think about how this is the expectation these days. She said she just likes to feel totally clean and not have to worry in her swimsuit, which I totally understand. I’ve always waxed my bikini line, but the idea of taking it *all* off is so extreme to me.

Oh well - it’s her body, not mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the anti-hair people also against eyebrow grooming and facial hair removal?

You’re so dense. You’re being asked to consider why. Stop being defensive and look at the bigger picture. Look at what we are doing to our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the anti-hair people also against eyebrow grooming and facial hair removal?

You’re so dense. You’re being asked to consider why. Stop being defensive and look at the bigger picture. Look at what we are doing to our children.

What are we doing to our children exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bikini wax is 100% related to this.

No, I do this because I don't want hairs picking out of my swimsuit. I like being clean and fresh. But you do you.

lol yeah but why does your swimsuit cover such little of your body that hairs inevitably peek out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are more women finally making the connection between the beauty industries emphasis on anti-aging products and the pedophilic nature of patriarchy? has it finally hit you that your obsession with not looking "old" caters to the predatory male gaze?"

Agree or disagree?

Agree. Knowing that many of the crass trends like fake nails, removing pubic hair etc came from porn. Porn stars even started a trend of anal bleaching. It’s disgusting.

I was wondering when fake nails would make their debut in this thread. Never change DCUM.

dp.. I did not know that the fake nails trend came from porn stars. I also find the whole decorated fake nails really odd on women. I always found it trashy, and I guess now I know why.

It didn't. Women have been painting their nails for centuries. Before then, it was henna. But some miserable shrews (and I mean you) just can't seem to mind their own business. No one cares what you think about their nails.

Wow. What a misogynistic response. You’re so aggressive in your defensiveness. You are a part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bikini wax is 100% related to this.

No, I do this because I don't want hairs picking out of my swimsuit. I like being clean and fresh. But you do you.

lol yeah but why does your swimsuit cover such little of your body that hairs inevitably peek out?

DP because we don't live under Taliban rule and I can wear whatever the eff I want. Any other stupid questions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are more women finally making the connection between the beauty industries emphasis on anti-aging products and the pedophilic nature of patriarchy? has it finally hit you that your obsession with not looking "old" caters to the predatory male gaze?"

Agree or disagree?

Agree. Knowing that many of the crass trends like fake nails, removing pubic hair etc came from porn. Porn stars even started a trend of anal bleaching. It’s disgusting.

I was wondering when fake nails would make their debut in this thread. Never change DCUM.

dp.. I did not know that the fake nails trend came from porn stars. I also find the whole decorated fake nails really odd on women. I always found it trashy, and I guess now I know why.

It didn't. Women have been painting their nails for centuries. Before then, it was henna. But some miserable shrews (and I mean you) just can't seem to mind their own business. No one cares what you think about their nails.

Wow. What a misogynistic response. You’re so aggressive in your defensiveness. You are a part of the problem.

Which part is misogynistic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anti aging is about looking 25, not 17.

This. Plus at 48 no matter what I do, I will never ever look even 30 much less like a child.

So dumb. I really hate when other women create these dumb posts to tell us what we should be doing with our bodies. Go gray, never shave, be flabby. WHO CARES. I'll do whatever I damn well please with my body. I dont have to justify it to anyone.

How can a 50 year old look 25? What does that entail?

Did I say I was trying to look 25? Why would I know?

PP said they were wanting to look 25, not 17. So how can someone who’s 50, who can pass for half their age, not also pass as a teenager? Its just not common at all for a 50 year old to look 25.

For all you know that PP is 30 in which case she can indeed look 25 with some work. Either way, you're missing the point entirely.

If PP is 30, then both of you are missing the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are more women finally making the connection between the beauty industries emphasis on anti-aging products and the pedophilic nature of patriarchy? has it finally hit you that your obsession with not looking "old" caters to the predatory male gaze?"

Agree or disagree?

Agree. Knowing that many of the crass trends like fake nails, removing pubic hair etc came from porn. Porn stars even started a trend of anal bleaching. It’s disgusting.

I was wondering when fake nails would make their debut in this thread. Never change DCUM.

dp.. I did not know that the fake nails trend came from porn stars. I also find the whole decorated fake nails really odd on women. I always found it trashy, and I guess now I know why.

It didn't. Women have been painting their nails for centuries. Before then, it was henna. But some miserable shrews (and I mean you) just can't seem to mind their own business. No one cares what you think about their nails.

Wow. What a misogynistic response. You’re so aggressive in your defensiveness. You are a part of the problem.

Which part is misogynistic?

It's a catch-all term by nasty people to say "you disagreed with you, I hate you, waaah."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to date a bald man with a paunch so guess there are biases on both sides.

Sure, but having some kind of bush = woman. Being bald down there = prepubescent.

Eh, give it a rest.

"Having some kind of facial hair = man. Being cleanshaven = prepubescent."

This gets boring so fast.

Yes, exactly. Lots of youthful looking men grow facial hair precisely for the reason that - they look prepubescent without facial hair.

But, if the man without the facial hair looks like an adult, it doesn't matter.

Unlike a man's face, you can't really tell the age of a woman by looking at her shaved pubic area. So, if she has no hair there, yes, it can look prepubescent.

Please stop shaving your armpits and legs immediately. You look prepubescent if you shave those. See how dumb you sound. Stop policing what women do with their bodies.

But if a woman didn't shave or wax her armpits or legs, she would be policed for it instantly. She would be called gross and unhygienic.

The policing is happening already, all the time.

All the more reason for other women to stop saying dumb shit about women who choose to wax.

I get what you're saying, and I'm not the person who was criticizing waxing, but I actually agree with them that we should ask ourselves what the norms are and why. I don't judge a woman who waxes, but I do question a man who prefers it. And I do wonder about the way we talk about hair on women (other than their heads) as unclean or unhygienic. It's worth discussing.

Certainly it is women who don't conform to a hairless standard who get criticism cause zed more than the other way around, yes?

Because hair is seen as masculine, but I don’t think it has anything to do with pedophilia.

Having hair means you are a mammal. Why do you think it’s masculine?