Weird moment with DIL

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with the poster who said you are now your son’s problem. I would wash my hands of any hosting of you. Sure, you could come to visit but DH would be in charge of all logistics, cleaning, cooking, etc. The key word with Old Rumps like you is a-v-o-i-d.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White women drama! LOL!

Seriously. This is some WASP crap. So glad I don't know many people like this.

[Anonymous]

Their lives are busy. She probably had 10 things she wanted to get done before having guests and seeing you there now she couldn’t do any of it. She didn’t want to deal with it and just left.

I think you should text when you leave and let people know if you’re going to be early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So instead of leaving at 1pm and arriving at 4 you say you “unexpectedly got on the road earlier”. That means you left at 11:30 to arrive at 2:30. How does one “unexpectedly” leave that early and not own up to it? Ridiculous to make it sound accidental on your part. Also, from the time you left GPS was telling you what time you’d arrive. I feel so sorry for you DIL who couldn’t even access her home for a few minutes on a very busy afternoon. Bet they never invite you to school events again.

Yeah I don’t get this either. The first thing she said was that she was supposed to get there on “Friday night”. There was no hurry since the real event was in Saturday night. But then she leaves before lunch time on Friday for a short trip there??

It sounds like she got the garage code and then decided that she could snoop for a couple of hours. It’s the only possible explanation for deliberately arriving so early without so much as a text when she already knew that nobody would be home.

+1 the DIL is in the busiest chapter of life. You have nothing to do. Arriving this early was intentional and rude. No one wants someone in their space like that for hours for no reason.

If there is a real reason to arrive early (like avoiding rush hour traffic) just be transparent about that from the start. My parents are like that with driving, traffic, dark etc give them stress. But as a result I know what to expect. No way you didn't know how early you planned to get there, OP.

[Anonymous]

Its not a big deal. Stop overanalyzing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who knows maybe she had bloody pants from an unexpected period and was annoyed she couldnt walk into her own house.

Maybe she forgot something at work.

Maybe she was coming home for 2 hours of mental peace before playing in law host all weekend and decided to go sit in her car or stop for a coffee instead.

This. Forget about it, and don't arrive at anyone's house early again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Old Rump” is now a certified DCUM Classic.

Go sit your Old Rump on the back porch, eat a piece of fruit, and leave my pristine kitchen in peace! Have some Boring Water. Use a Burgundy Washcloth to freshen your Old Rump and enjoy some Lightly Fried Tuna.

*Applauds in Eagle Snafu*

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP that when MIL knew she was getting the garage code she decided to purposely arrive early yo snoop. As others have said, arriving as early as you did with zero outreach to your hosts was simply rude. You know this. For all you knew, OP, your DIL was rushing home to have a poop in her own house. But there you sat in her driveway hours early. You are absurd for coming to this board asking strangers to affirm that her DIL's behavior was weird, without recognizing how awful your own behavior was. Get some self-awareness

[Anonymous]

This scenario seems made up.

[Anonymous]

Cmon OP you know that DCUM mothers hate grandparents and view them as nothing but PITAs who are stuck in their ways, don’t babysit enough, and won’t die quickly enough to fork over your money. You’re not gonna get any support here.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I don't agree that they planned to snoop. My mom can NEVER arrive anywhere near the agreed upon time. She's either way early or way late, and she can't be bothered to give a heads up when she gets on the road. I think some older people just leave when they feel like it because they have no real things to plan around. It's not like they have a morning full of work or appointments and they leave after. Driving is the only activity ("work") they have for the day. They just come when they feel like it. There's no nefarious plan like snooping behind it.

[Anonymous]

I think this is bothering you because it never occurred to you that she could find you anything but endlessly delightful.

[Anonymous]

This DIL is my hero. She drove up, surveyed the scene, said “Nope.”, and made her escape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I don't agree that they planned to snoop. My mom can NEVER arrive anywhere near the agreed upon time. She's either way early or way late, and she can't be bothered to give a heads up when she gets on the road. I think some older people just leave when they feel like it because they have no real things to plan around. It's not like they have a morning full of work or appointments and they leave after. Driving is the only activity ("work") they have for the day. They just come when they feel like it. There's no nefarious plan like snooping behind it.

OK, I guess. but how do you explain grandma leaving her home early enough for a 3 hour trip to arrive more than two hours early? It was by design. Maybe it wasn't for accessing their house to snoop. Maybe grandma has anxiety. Or zero life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I don't agree that they planned to snoop. My mom can NEVER arrive anywhere near the agreed upon time. She's either way early or way late, and she can't be bothered to give a heads up when she gets on the road. I think some older people just leave when they feel like it because they have no real things to plan around. It's not like they have a morning full of work or appointments and they leave after. Driving is the only activity ("work") they have for the day. They just come when they feel like it. There's no nefarious plan like snooping behind it.

I don't know any "older" people who cannot read time. She does make it to doctor's appointments on time, I assume? She simply doesn't respect your time. If you agree on a time to arrive, you keep the time. It's rude to do otherwise and then on top wonder if others are rude? Where does this entitlement come from?