Husband Wants Open Relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:by the time a man says this he is already f-ing around

+1

It’s such a brazen ask. It’s not a hypothetical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pages upon pages and no answer to the question about the state of the bedroom from the first page.

Because it’s irrelevant. If her DH has concerns about their private intimate life then it’s a discussion he should first have with his wife.

Long before seeking out anyone else or offering to open the marriage which is just his validation for cheating.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband recently dropped a bombshell on me and asked to have an open relationship. He is telling me that he still loves me he just wants to hook up with other people but is not interested in dating anyone else. I’m really not sure what to think of this or how to respond. Just for context, I am in my 30s and we have two kids. We have been married for almost 8 years. I was very surprised about this conversation and kind of in shock, so I told him I needed some time to think. What should I say to him and how would you respond if your husband asked for permission to sleep around?

I'd tell him no problem. Single dudes can screw whoever they want. He can move out this weekend and we can get a custody agreement on file ASAP as we work out the divorce.

Your marriage is over. I am sorry.

[Anonymous]

Guy here your husband is weak and is a moron. This only works if both parties are fully on board or if one partner is 100% comfortable with a marriage "on paper only" relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

It might not be your choice if he decides to leave.

Yeah but we have a prenup that whoever files for divorce is gets less of the assets. There’s no cheating clause in it, just basically it’s presumed that the person who files for divorce is the one who caused the divorce.

That was very stupid to sign. Ask a lawyer if that clause is enforceable or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Divorce Ma’am

I have two kids that are under 4 years old though. My parents are divorced and I really don’t want to repeat that cycle with my own kids. How do I get divorced without destroying my kids lives?

Divorce does not destroy kids' lives. I am divorced. My kids are extremely happy. My miserable parents stayed married. I never see them. Too much trauma watching that train wreck.

This marriage is over. Get out now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Divorce Ma’am

I have two kids that are under 4 years old though. My parents are divorced and I really don’t want to repeat that cycle with my own kids. How do I get divorced without destroying my kids lives?

If you stay, you're teaching your kids that being treated like garbage by a partner is acceptable. You show them that standing up for themselves is the right thing to do.

I think that is a valid point, but part of me thinks that being poor is even worse. There is a power imbalance here because his family is very wealthy and mine is not. His family could bury me with legal fees and court costs if they wanted to.

The law is you get half of marital assets. There should not be a fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a loser! I would divorce over this. I bet he’s already sleeping around.

Yeah that was my initial reaction, but I’m not sure if divorcing him is a good idea. When my grandfather got divorced, he ended up getting remarried later and some skank stole my mother’s inheritance. I don’t want my kids inheritance to get stolen from them by a sleazy second wife.

It might not be your choice if he decides to leave.

Yeah but we have a prenup that whoever files for divorce is gets less of the assets. There’s no cheating clause in it, just basically it’s presumed that the person who files for divorce is the one who caused the divorce.

Is this Op? Go see a lawyer about that presumption because it sounds like you were tricked

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband recently dropped a bombshell on me and asked to have an open relationship. He is telling me that he still loves me he just wants to hook up with other people but is not interested in dating anyone else. I’m really not sure what to think of this or how to respond. Just for context, I am in my 30s and we have two kids. We have been married for almost 8 years. I was very surprised about this conversation and kind of in shock, so I told him I needed some time to think. What should I say to him and how would you respond if your husband asked for permission to sleep around?

Go to couples therapy. Get a third party mediator who can help facilitate respectful communication and integration of what is going on in your relationship. At minimum, 3-6 months of weekly sessions. You are not on the same page at all. Either you are missing signals or he’s compartmentalized a lot, but this is not the way to launch yourself into that.

In addition to the relational threat that has already been named, there are health and safety issues, trust issues, logistical issues, and financial issues (where will his assignations take place? will they cost money?).

Lastly, consider reading the book by Molly Winter about her experience. I read the book because I know someone who knows someone who knows the author (otherwise I probably wouldn’t have TBH). It paints a picture of an open marriage (with lots of wealth). Your husband may want to read it too. So you both have a shared data point or framework for what could come up.

[Anonymous]

Molly Roden Winter is a woman who is in an “open marriage” because her husband refused to close the marriage when she begged him to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband recently dropped a bombshell on me and asked to have an open relationship. He is telling me that he still loves me he just wants to hook up with other people but is not interested in dating anyone else. I’m really not sure what to think of this or how to respond. Just for context, I am in my 30s and we have two kids. We have been married for almost 8 years. I was very surprised about this conversation and kind of in shock, so I told him I needed some time to think. What should I say to him and how would you respond if your husband asked for permission to sleep around?

I'd tell him no problem. Single dudes can screw whoever they want. He can move out this weekend and we can get a custody agreement on file ASAP as we work out the divorce.

Your marriage is over. I am sorry.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Divorce Ma’am

I have two kids that are under 4 years old though. My parents are divorced and I really don’t want to repeat that cycle with my own kids. How do I get divorced without destroying my kids lives?

Stop making excuses to stay w that lousy man.

You aren’t the first nor will be the last in a similar situation.

Divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad we're in a Christian marriage, where neither spouse has to worry about this happening.

you have no clue

I know, right! So naive I almost think it's satire.

Not satire, and I'm sincere about what I said.

Bless your heart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband recently dropped a bombshell on me and asked to have an open relationship. He is telling me that he still loves me he just wants to hook up with other people but is not interested in dating anyone else. I’m really not sure what to think of this or how to respond. Just for context, I am in my 30s and we have two kids. We have been married for almost 8 years. I was very surprised about this conversation and kind of in shock, so I told him I needed some time to think. What should I say to him and how would you respond if your husband asked for permission to sleep around?

He has already had sex with someone else, OP. And it’s probably a regular thing.

BTDT with my ex-wife asking this question.

It didn’t end well.

Was your bedroom “dead?”

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Joke is on him. It’s a lot easier for women to get laid in an open relationship than it is for a man.

This is sooooo true. lol