Dolling yourself up for husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love this thread women attacking women lol

Truly baffling that a woman doing things to please her partner somehow deserves condemnation. Let's ask these critical women how they react when their husband's ignore their desires and preferences.

What’s baffling to me is why none of you ask yourselves why women are doing all this while men do next to nothing. Really no reflection on that?

Think how much of your life and your $ you spend on this and then picture what your husband does with all his free time when he’s not doing any of this.

And by the way, I participate. I buy makeup and put it on and buy clothes that aren’t always comfortable and cram myself in uncomfortable shoes and spend time at the hair dresser getting highlights and blow my hair dry a lot of the time with all my hair products. That is the tip of the iceberg of what some women are doing.

But at least have some level of awareness this is kind of all bullshit and conveniently women are the ones doing all this to be “attractive”. It’s not women hating other women to point this out.

Sorry you married a dud. I control my eating habits to stay trim. I work out 5 days a week to stay toned. I spend time figuring out what colors of clothing look good on me. I spend time and money finding clothes that look sharp and fit well or having them altered to fit well (and in case you are unaware, and I'm guessing you are, good men's clothes are generally lot more expensive than comparable women's clothes because of the tailoring involved). I get haircuts regularly, far more often than she does. I select hair products that allow me to style my hair nicely without feeling or smelling weird. I pay attention to the deodorants and colognes I use. I shave my face and trim other parts regularly, especially if I expect that I'll be engaging physically. I go to therapy and read books about emotions and interpersonal relationships because I didn't get any of that shit growing up and needed to learn it later in life. And I do all this in response to her feedback - if she doesn't love a scent or a hair style, I abandon it and do something else. I'm not claiming I spend as much time on all this as she does, but I make a serious effort, and so does she, and that helps us both feel like the other respects us.

I am not believing this was written by a heterosexual guy. PP, you are a gay man.

I have one friend married to a guy like this. And I know a lot of women. I think they exist. But not typical.

being married to a woman does not mean not gay.

Sorry to disappoint, but I am a 0 on the Kinsey scale.

ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a man cares about his appearance as much as his wife/fiancee/gf she will next wonder whether he is gay.

I know this dad who gets his nails done, he is always well put together, and it appears that he gets how eyebrows done as well. I told DW the other day that I think he was gay and she said not necessarily, but she didn't say flatly no. If a husband looks a good as his wife put together all the time just like her I don't know guys but it's a little sus..just saying

[Anonymous]

Do you think James Bond is gay? I think he's viewed as the epitome of masculinity. Women want him and men want to be with him. And how does he present himself: well fitting, simple, stylish clothes that are always appropriate for the occasion, always either as formal as everyone else or slightly more formal. It takes effort to pull that off in real life. And some men do it. I don't think that makes them gay. In fact, I think that's a pretty weird reaction from women with limited experience with men.

[Anonymous]

^ Oops, men want to be *LIKE him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm quite beautiful naturally. I have great skin, beautiful eyes and nice lips. My husband never expects me to "doll" up and always tells me how beautiful I am as is.

LOL. I don’t know if you are naturally beautiful but you definitely don’t lack self-confidence.

Shouldn't all women feel beautiful? Why is that a bad thing?

the beauty industry is built on women believing they are not beautiful and enough naturally that they just need this or that.

The increase in attractiveness between “natural” and “made up” is abundantly obvious to both men and women. It’s pointless to pretend the two conditions are equally beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love this thread women attacking women lol

Truly baffling that a woman doing things to please her partner somehow deserves condemnation. Let's ask these critical women how they react when their husband's ignore their desires and preferences.

Breaking news! Women hate happy women!

Seriously, they’d be safer in the woods with a bear than another woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm quite beautiful naturally. I have great skin, beautiful eyes and nice lips. My husband never expects me to "doll" up and always tells me how beautiful I am as is.

LOL. I don’t know if you are naturally beautiful but you definitely don’t lack self-confidence.

Shouldn't all women feel beautiful? Why is that a bad thing?

the beauty industry is built on women believing they are not beautiful and enough naturally that they just need this or that.

The increase in attractiveness between “natural” and “made up” is abundantly obvious to both men and women. It’s pointless to pretend the two conditions are equally beautiful.

So a woman has to be full of fake sh*t before you find her beautiful? That's sad for you (or your partner).

[Anonymous]

My wife is over 50 and looks great when she’s dressed up. I compliment her a lot but she doesn’t do it for me. If I even asked her to wear something I liked she’d throw it in the bag to goodwill. Same with being fit. She’s always stayed fit and had a gorgeous body - even in her 50’s. However, she does it because she likes the way it makes her feel (and probably look). We remodeled our basement a few months ago and she loved feeling strong carrying couches up the stairs etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a man cares about his appearance as much as his wife/fiancee/gf she will next wonder whether he is gay.

I know this dad who gets his nails done, he is always well put together, and it appears that he gets how eyebrows done as well. I told DW the other day that I think he was gay and she said not necessarily, but she didn't say flatly no. If a husband looks a good as his wife put together all the time just like her I don't know guys but it's a little sus..just saying

Because real men don’t care about their own appearance but wouldn’t be attracted to a woman who didn’t care about hers?

[Anonymous]

You again?? Nobody born in the 1900s (or 2000s for that matter) says "dolled up."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You again?? Nobody born in the 1900s (or 2000s for that matter) says "dolled up."

Ok, what term do you suggest instead? And does it really matter for this conversation?

[Anonymous]

I wore my latex catsuit to greet my husband this evening. Still wearing it now. He likes me to be covered in latex as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a man cares about his appearance as much as his wife/fiancee/gf she will next wonder whether he is gay.

I know this dad who gets his nails done, he is always well put together, and it appears that he gets how eyebrows done as well. I told DW the other day that I think he was gay and she said not necessarily, but she didn't say flatly no. If a husband looks a good as his wife put together all the time just like her I don't know guys but it's a little sus..just saying

You write like a twelve year-old girl. Maybe you're gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the definition of dolling up? My mother has always been a SAHM. I remember her always starting to get herself ready around 5 pm everyday. She’d shower again, put on something pretty and some light makeup. My dad always came home at 6, and then they’d giggle like kids in the kitchen while she put the final touches on dinner. We knew to wait elsewhere until we were called to eat. I try to always look presentable.

Being a SAHM used to be so different. 4-7pm is just about my busiest time of day with homework, getting dinner at the exact right time everyone can eat together, and driving kids around to various activities. I can’t imagine taking that time to shower and hang out with my husband.

They had to protect their lifeline. They had no other choice for survival if their DH’s eye strayed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love this thread women attacking women lol

Truly baffling that a woman doing things to please her partner somehow deserves condemnation. Let's ask these critical women how they react when their husband's ignore their desires and preferences.

What’s baffling to me is why none of you ask yourselves why women are doing all this while men do next to nothing. Really no reflection on that?

Think how much of your life and your $ you spend on this and then picture what your husband does with all his free time when he’s not doing any of this.

And by the way, I participate. I buy makeup and put it on and buy clothes that aren’t always comfortable and cram myself in uncomfortable shoes and spend time at the hair dresser getting highlights and blow my hair dry a lot of the time with all my hair products. That is the tip of the iceberg of what some women are doing.

But at least have some level of awareness this is kind of all bullshit and conveniently women are the ones doing all this to be “attractive”. It’s not women hating other women to point this out.

Sorry you married a dud. I control my eating habits to stay trim. I work out 5 days a week to stay toned. I spend time figuring out what colors of clothing look good on me. I spend time and money finding clothes that look sharp and fit well or having them altered to fit well (and in case you are unaware, and I'm guessing you are, good men's clothes are generally lot more expensive than comparable women's clothes because of the tailoring involved). I get haircuts regularly, far more often than she does. I select hair products that allow me to style my hair nicely without feeling or smelling weird. I pay attention to the deodorants and colognes I use. I shave my face and trim other parts regularly, especially if I expect that I'll be engaging physically. I go to therapy and read books about emotions and interpersonal relationships because I didn't get any of that shit growing up and needed to learn it later in life. And I do all this in response to her feedback - if she doesn't love a scent or a hair style, I abandon it and do something else. I'm not claiming I spend as much time on all this as she does, but I make a serious effort, and so does she, and that helps us both feel like the other respects us.

Sir. You are not doing even 10 percent of what most women are doing. But good for you for what you’re doing. Most men don’t bother.

He's doing twice as much as most of the women on this thread, who apparently think brushing their hair is subjugation.

But is he redoing his whole routine in the bathroom before he leaves work to look and smell his best for his wife? If not he is a total loser.

I'm the PP. I try to keep myself together over the course of the day. When I walk in the door (assuming she's home first), I want her to feel excited to see me (plus of course a breath freshener before I walk in).

Years ago, I was seeing someone. She was definitely the type to get dolled up. I didn't think much about myself. One night when he had a date, I was waiting in the lobby of her building when I saw her pop out of the elevator and then immediately spin around and go back up. Twenty minutes later, she reemerged. Here's what happened: she was dressed to the nines, but then she saw that I was wearing jeans, a tee, and sneakers, and so she went back to her apartment to dress down to my level. I didn't say anything about it, but I felt embarrassed the whole night. I learned a few things: Make a specific plan, tell her the plan in advance so she can have a sense of the occasion, and dress commensurate with her. So, now I have a closet prepared for any occasion, from loafing to a night on the town. I routinely see schlubs walking around with dolled-up women and feel sad for the women and embarrassed for the men -- show some respect.

Anyway, am I doing as much as she? No. But here's another thing I have learned: show appreciation for that. I no longer get irritated if we're running late because she took too long to get ready or if she spent a little more than I'd like on beauty. I like the end product and I understand that doesn't come from snapping her fingers, so I'm patient and communicate my excitement for what she does.

I don't know what to say about this gentleman(?)...

He sounds thoughtful and perceptive and sweet!!