How to stop being so frugal/cheap?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't shop unless we need something. But I have no problem spending $50+ on a pair of jeans that I love, or a Lululemon sports bra for DD because that's what she really wants and will wear it once a week.

I consider it wasteful to buy a bunch of stuff that you don't love. I buy fewer, nicer things for my family. It doesn't seem to cost any more than buying a bunch of cheap, trendy stuff and we feel good wearing the items.

The problem is a lot of people confuse “more expensive” with “nicer.” The two are not the same. Teens in particular have not learned this yet.

Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. I don't buy designer handbags and I'm not a fan of logos on my clothes. Sometimes I can find high quality items that I love for low prices on sale or at discount stores. But that Lululemon sports bra really is higher quality than the ones at TJ Maxx.

Yes---my Lulu will last me 5-7+ years, basic stuff from target/TJ maxx will be finished in 3-4 years tops.

To a certain point, you get what you pay for. However, once you hit Lulu level, you don't really get "higher quality" above that, most above that is about the Name and the name only. So a $300 sports bra from a luxury brand (above Lulu) is not any or much better.
So the key is finding the lowest level of "luxury" that is still providing more quality. Once you hit that, realize anything else is just paying for the brand.

Like nobody in DCUM needs a Canadian Goose jacket, you simply don't. It does not get that cold here. And you can find really good Patagonia equivalents for 1/2 or 1/3 the price.

Sure you can wear a target jacket and it will "do the job decently" but the Patagonia will do the job for 10+ years and still be going strong

+1

Even Lulu and Patagonia are “paying for the brand.” Nike and Columbia are just as good.

I've had both Patagonia and Columbia. They are not "just as good". Columbia is good, but Patagonia is ethical and cares about sourcing material. They also have a guarantee they will fix any item or replace it. Had a $450 Patagonia that had broken zipper. Jacket was 4 years old. They couldn't replace with the right type of zipper (would no longer be waterproof) , so they gave me a gift card with $450+ sales tax on it. No questions asked. It was my choice to let them fix the best they could or get a refund.
I know aColumbia does not offer that level of service.
But beyond that, the Patagonia is a superior product. Now for most people the Columbia is "enough", it's a damn good jacket. But if you can afford it (and choose to spend it), the Patagonia is a Better product. You are paying for much more than just a brand name

This. I also like the look of my Patagonia gear more than Columbia.

And if you can actually afford it, it is worth the investment.

We are at the point where quality matters and so does "the look" and in general if we like it. But we are still reasonable about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't shop unless we need something. But I have no problem spending $50+ on a pair of jeans that I love, or a Lululemon sports bra for DD because that's what she really wants and will wear it once a week.

I consider it wasteful to buy a bunch of stuff that you don't love. I buy fewer, nicer things for my family. It doesn't seem to cost any more than buying a bunch of cheap, trendy stuff and we feel good wearing the items.

The problem is a lot of people confuse “more expensive” with “nicer.” The two are not the same. Teens in particular have not learned this yet.

Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. I don't buy designer handbags and I'm not a fan of logos on my clothes. Sometimes I can find high quality items that I love for low prices on sale or at discount stores. But that Lululemon sports bra really is higher quality than the ones at TJ Maxx.

Yes---my Lulu will last me 5-7+ years, basic stuff from target/TJ maxx will be finished in 3-4 years tops.

To a certain point, you get what you pay for. However, once you hit Lulu level, you don't really get "higher quality" above that, most above that is about the Name and the name only. So a $300 sports bra from a luxury brand (above Lulu) is not any or much better.
So the key is finding the lowest level of "luxury" that is still providing more quality. Once you hit that, realize anything else is just paying for the brand.

Like nobody in DCUM needs a Canadian Goose jacket, you simply don't. It does not get that cold here. And you can find really good Patagonia equivalents for 1/2 or 1/3 the price.

Sure you can wear a target jacket and it will "do the job decently" but the Patagonia will do the job for 10+ years and still be going strong

+1

Even Lulu and Patagonia are “paying for the brand.” Nike and Columbia are just as good.

I've had both Patagonia and Columbia. They are not "just as good". Columbia is good, but Patagonia is ethical and cares about sourcing material. They also have a guarantee they will fix any item or replace it. Had a $450 Patagonia that had broken zipper. Jacket was 4 years old. They couldn't replace with the right type of zipper (would no longer be waterproof) , so they gave me a gift card with $450+ sales tax on it. No questions asked. It was my choice to let them fix the best they could or get a refund.
I know aColumbia does not offer that level of service.
But beyond that, the Patagonia is a superior product. Now for most people the Columbia is "enough", it's a damn good jacket. But if you can afford it (and choose to spend it), the Patagonia is a Better product. You are paying for much more than just a brand name

How do you do Patagonia repair? Do you mail in? Drop off at store?
Do you need a receipt or is the article its own proof of eligibility?

I did "drop off at a store" because there is one 2 blocks from my condo.
they look up the receipt in their system. Not sure what would happen if they cannot find it, but they work with you. I'm guessing you could also call and mail it to them, but not sure how that would work. It's a very good program, and they stand by their products.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a really hard time spending money even if it's something I need, I can't buy it. For example $15 pizza, $13 deodorant, $25 water bottle, $50 dollar jeans, $60 jacket. Normal things that people buy everyday for those prices and it just seems too hard to buy it and when I do I feel a lot of guilt. Growing up my parents were super cheap though. I can afford it all but I physically can't.

Is it not wanting to spend or not wanting more stuff? I can afford things but after listening to lots of decluttering podcasts, just want things out of the house. I figure I have enough things like socks and cooking equipment etc to last me the rest of my life.

DP: for me it is not wanting more stuff to clutter up my life. So I only purchase things I actually need, and most often it is to replace items that need replacing.

This. I am also not paying 4x for a coat because I “like the look of it” better or they will “fix the zipper.” I have never in my life needed to do that anyway. It’s fine if some people want to shop for image, but it’s a lie to pretend that isn’t what they are doing. Watch them protest now.

You are entitled to spend your money how you see fit. But for those of us adults who have hit a point in our life that we can afford it, spending on a Patagonia over Columbia is worth it. When I know I will get 10+ years out of a product (or get it fixed for free or replaced if there is an issue), it's a no-brainer.

I didn't do that until we were set for college and retirement and approaching the passover to UHNW. But at this point, we have the $$ and deserve to spurlge on what we think is most important. High quality outerwear is part of that. But I won't go to Canada Goose level, because I don't live somewhere that's that cold and that is truly status symbol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a really hard time spending money even if it's something I need, I can't buy it. For example $15 pizza, $13 deodorant, $25 water bottle, $50 dollar jeans, $60 jacket. Normal things that people buy everyday for those prices and it just seems too hard to buy it and when I do I feel a lot of guilt. Growing up my parents were super cheap though. I can afford it all but I physically can't.

Is it not wanting to spend or not wanting more stuff? I can afford things but after listening to lots of decluttering podcasts, just want things out of the house. I figure I have enough things like socks and cooking equipment etc to last me the rest of my life.

DP: for me it is not wanting more stuff to clutter up my life. So I only purchase things I actually need, and most often it is to replace items that need replacing.

This. I am also not paying 4x for a coat because I “like the look of it” better or they will “fix the zipper.” I have never in my life needed to do that anyway. It’s fine if some people want to shop for image, but it’s a lie to pretend that isn’t what they are doing. Watch them protest now.

You are entitled to spend your money how you see fit. But for those of us adults who have hit a point in our life that we can afford it, spending on a Patagonia over Columbia is worth it. When I know I will get 10+ years out of a product (or get it fixed for free or replaced if there is an issue), it's a no-brainer.

I didn't do that until we were set for college and retirement and approaching the passover to UHNW. But at this point, we have the $$ and deserve to spurlge on what we think is most important. High quality outerwear is part of that. But I won't go to Canada Goose level, because I don't live somewhere that's that cold and that is truly status symbol

This is us too. I just view Patagonia the same way you view Canada Goose.

[Anonymous]

Just reading this thread and seems like a lot of people buying Native deodorant. 😊 I love it. I go through about 1.5 a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a really hard time spending money even if it's something I need, I can't buy it. For example $15 pizza, $13 deodorant, $25 water bottle, $50 dollar jeans, $60 jacket. Normal things that people buy everyday for those prices and it just seems too hard to buy it and when I do I feel a lot of guilt. Growing up my parents were super cheap though. I can afford it all but I physically can't.

Is it not wanting to spend or not wanting more stuff? I can afford things but after listening to lots of decluttering podcasts, just want things out of the house. I figure I have enough things like socks and cooking equipment etc to last me the rest of my life.

DP: for me it is not wanting more stuff to clutter up my life. So I only purchase things I actually need, and most often it is to replace items that need replacing.

This. I am also not paying 4x for a coat because I “like the look of it” better or they will “fix the zipper.” I have never in my life needed to do that anyway. It’s fine if some people want to shop for image, but it’s a lie to pretend that isn’t what they are doing. Watch them protest now.

You are entitled to spend your money how you see fit. But for those of us adults who have hit a point in our life that we can afford it, spending on a Patagonia over Columbia is worth it. When I know I will get 10+ years out of a product (or get it fixed for free or replaced if there is an issue), it's a no-brainer.

I didn't do that until we were set for college and retirement and approaching the passover to UHNW. But at this point, we have the $$ and deserve to spurlge on what we think is most important. High quality outerwear is part of that. But I won't go to Canada Goose level, because I don't live somewhere that's that cold and that is truly status symbol

This is us too. I just view Patagonia the same way you view Canada Goose.

And you are entitled to your opinion. If you are truly in the UHNW range, you can definately afford to spend on Patagonia over Columbia. But it's your choice. Everyone has different things they prefer to spend their "extra $$$" on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a really hard time spending money even if it's something I need, I can't buy it. For example $15 pizza, $13 deodorant, $25 water bottle, $50 dollar jeans, $60 jacket. Normal things that people buy everyday for those prices and it just seems too hard to buy it and when I do I feel a lot of guilt. Growing up my parents were super cheap though. I can afford it all but I physically can't.

Is it not wanting to spend or not wanting more stuff? I can afford things but after listening to lots of decluttering podcasts, just want things out of the house. I figure I have enough things like socks and cooking equipment etc to last me the rest of my life.

DP: for me it is not wanting more stuff to clutter up my life. So I only purchase things I actually need, and most often it is to replace items that need replacing.

This. I am also not paying 4x for a coat because I “like the look of it” better or they will “fix the zipper.” I have never in my life needed to do that anyway. It’s fine if some people want to shop for image, but it’s a lie to pretend that isn’t what they are doing. Watch them protest now.

You are entitled to spend your money how you see fit. But for those of us adults who have hit a point in our life that we can afford it, spending on a Patagonia over Columbia is worth it. When I know I will get 10+ years out of a product (or get it fixed for free or replaced if there is an issue), it's a no-brainer.

I didn't do that until we were set for college and retirement and approaching the passover to UHNW. But at this point, we have the $$ and deserve to spurlge on what we think is most important. High quality outerwear is part of that. But I won't go to Canada Goose level, because I don't live somewhere that's that cold and that is truly status symbol

I dunno, I bought a winter jacket with zip off sleeves at Kmart when I was a broke 18 year old. Wore that bad boy for a good 15 years before donating it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a really hard time spending money even if it's something I need, I can't buy it. For example $15 pizza, $13 deodorant, $25 water bottle, $50 dollar jeans, $60 jacket. Normal things that people buy everyday for those prices and it just seems too hard to buy it and when I do I feel a lot of guilt. Growing up my parents were super cheap though. I can afford it all but I physically can't.

Is it not wanting to spend or not wanting more stuff? I can afford things but after listening to lots of decluttering podcasts, just want things out of the house. I figure I have enough things like socks and cooking equipment etc to last me the rest of my life.

DP: for me it is not wanting more stuff to clutter up my life. So I only purchase things I actually need, and most often it is to replace items that need replacing.

This. I am also not paying 4x for a coat because I “like the look of it” better or they will “fix the zipper.” I have never in my life needed to do that anyway. It’s fine if some people want to shop for image, but it’s a lie to pretend that isn’t what they are doing. Watch them protest now.

You are entitled to spend your money how you see fit. But for those of us adults who have hit a point in our life that we can afford it, spending on a Patagonia over Columbia is worth it. When I know I will get 10+ years out of a product (or get it fixed for free or replaced if there is an issue), it's a no-brainer.

I didn't do that until we were set for college and retirement and approaching the passover to UHNW. But at this point, we have the $$ and deserve to spurlge on what we think is most important. High quality outerwear is part of that. But I won't go to Canada Goose level, because I don't live somewhere that's that cold and that is truly status symbol

I dunno, I bought a winter jacket with zip off sleeves at Kmart when I was a broke 18 year old. Wore that bad boy for a good 15 years before donating it.

Back in college (when I was poor and attending college in Chicago on Lake Michigan campus), I spent $25 on a down to my ankles LL Bean warm coat. I used it for 10 years and then gave it to a family member. Sure it worked, but it was bulky and not that nice looking. So if I can afford something a bit nicer I will choose to get it. But I lived like that for years.

[Anonymous]

I tell myself that I am deserving of such a nice item. Also frugal but I have expensive tastes and am willing to pay for classic pieces or something that I will use or enjoy often.

I no longer save or stash or hoard items “just in case” and have made a concerted effort to declutter and organize my house. If I don’t use something, out it goes.