How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a bad idea especially before college. If she's introverted etc the last think she needs is starting college and that girl that has some long distance boy friend that's jealous and she will be tied down and not able to explore. I would shut it down. 4 years is a lot of difference at that age.

I can't get my kids to eat their damn dinner, I have no idea what "shut it down" would look like with a 17.5 year old, other than she starts sneaking and being resentful. There's nothing wrong with giving advice, of course. Young people need to make their own mistakes. "Shut it down" should only be played for the very big issues, like DUIs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe DD wants to get some experience with sex before college. That wouldn't be unusual. She starts college not quite as naive. It might be -just sex- Not enough of you are imagining this may be what DD wants and it's ok.

That's just what a pedo would say

+1. This is not how teen girls think.

That is how everybody with a high sex drive thinks

In any case, this relationship gives off vibes more like dorky music dorks hit it off than steamy porking in the back seat impending teen pregnancy in 3...2...1...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a bad idea especially before college. If she's introverted etc the last think she needs is starting college and that girl that has some long distance boy friend that's jealous and she will be tied down and not able to explore. I would shut it down. 4 years is a lot of difference at that age.

I can't get my kids to eat their damn dinner, I have no idea what "shut it down" would look like with a 17.5 year old, other than she starts sneaking and being resentful. There's nothing wrong with giving advice, of course. Young people need to make their own mistakes. "Shut it down" should only be played for the very big issues, like DUIs

Tend to agree with this. And why are so many posters jumping to worst case scenario. That he's this terrible abusive guy who is going to ruin the daughter's life. Sure it could happen. It could also happen that he's quite lovely towards her and the relationship lats as long as it lasts maybe a few months or years or forever. if she had just turned 17 and had another year of highschool I'd feel differently, but she's nearly 18 and nearly graduated this is an area why you treat her like the young adult she is like people on this forum are always crowing about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe DD wants to get some experience with sex before college. That wouldn't be unusual. She starts college not quite as naive. It might be -just sex- Not enough of you are imagining this may be what DD wants and it's ok.

That's just what a pedo would say

+1. This is not how teen girls think.

While I think that pp is likely a creep claiming that teen girls don't think that way is false
They definitely do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Four years is hardly a compelling age difference. I don’t see why it matters when they are just talking. Now, if she was having s*x with a 40 year old, I’d worry.

He could have just turned 21 and she’s turning 18 soon so it could be more like 3 years. If she’s going to college in September she will be surrounded by guys from ages 18 to 23. They are in the same age group.

[Anonymous]

I have a 16yo and an almost 21 yo. Both boys fwiw. They are light years apart in terms of maturity and life experience. If the older one was chatting up a 17yo girl, I'd be horrified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Four years is hardly a compelling age difference. I don’t see why it matters when they are just talking. Now, if she was having s*x with a 40 year old, I’d worry.

He could have just turned 21 and she’s turning 18 soon so it could be more like 3 years. If she’s going to college in September she will be surrounded by guys from ages 18 to 23. They are in the same age group.

I find it wild you would send your 17 year old to a camp and be surprised she came back with a fellow counsellor BF. If she is such a fragile baby then wrap her in bubble wrap and keep her at home. Of course, she magically transforms into an adult the night of her 17th year and 364th day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 16yo and an almost 21 yo. Both boys fwiw. They are light years apart in terms of maturity and life experience. If the older one was chatting up a 17yo girl, I'd be horrified.

A music dork 17 year old girl is likely to be quite different from your 16 year old boy. I imagine your 16 year old boy still makes fart noises with his arm pit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 16yo and an almost 21 yo. Both boys fwiw. They are light years apart in terms of maturity and life experience. If the older one was chatting up a 17yo girl, I'd be horrified.

Thank you! There are some serious parenting failures here if they are totes kewl with their college age sons picking up minors from high schools.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like they are only 3 years apart. Your daughter will be in college by this year. She should be able to judge him. Girls are more mature than boys. They have lots in common. They met naturally at work. It’s ok.

[Anonymous]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKDlyjce-UM

My internet browser has been spying on me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 16yo and an almost 21 yo. Both boys fwiw. They are light years apart in terms of maturity and life experience. If the older one was chatting up a 17yo girl, I'd be horrified.

A music dork 17 year old girl is likely to be quite different from your 16 year old boy. I imagine your 16 year old boy still makes fart noises with his arm pit

ugh, the 90s want their slang back.

[Anonymous]

At 21 I was a senior in college. I would have never even looked a high school kid like that. So weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. they do have a lot in common, they met at a summer camp teaching music for kids, and he's in college. I don't think they are actually dating, just spending a lot of time talking

Huge red flag.

This is. Disaster waiting to happen

You need to talk to your daughter birth control now!

Also her educational goals keep taking so not let him get in her head.

You can not forbid her she will want him more but keep talking and birth control

I swear some of y'all are crazy.

I agree with the PP -- this is not an emergency. She's almost 18 -- there's a very large chance that she's not a virigin. And that age difference is minimal. My husband and I are 12 years apart. Relax. Agree that you should have confirm that she's on a reliable form of birth control and using condoms until she can confirm that they are both STD-free. And stock up on Plan B just in case -- this new adminstration will likely ban it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 16yo and an almost 21 yo. Both boys fwiw. They are light years apart in terms of maturity and life experience. If the older one was chatting up a 17yo girl, I'd be horrified.

Thank you! There are some serious parenting failures here if they are totes kewl with their college age sons picking up minors from high schools.

He's not picking up a minor from high school they met at work and she's nearly 18 and so far are only talking to each other. You are going to cause so many issues for your kids with your black and white Tumblr inspired parenting.