Getting Dh home sooner- how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids? With your scenario, at 5+ just tell them to get ready for bed and go to bed. No extras.

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Op here- they’re 1,4 and 6. Going to bed isn’t the problem actually. It’s making dinner, getting kids to eat, getting them bathed and entertaining them until bed. I enjoy reading to kids and putting them to bed. Some nights it’s chaos

I really don’t want a spa day on the weekend or time to myself on the weekend. I need to have my nights run smoother. I can’t handle them at night. They’re great during the day but 4-8pm is hell.

Your kids are sooooo little and he is pulling this?!?! You need to either put your foot down or hire a babysitter each night! That’s insanity!!!

This, have a come to Jesus with him and tell him that you guys need to hire help a few days a week if he can’t be home. Don’t use this as a threat, but just communicating your needs.

[Anonymous]

"According to data from the American Time Use Survey, conducted between 2018 to 2022, states like Pennsylvania and Maine lead the charge with average peak dinner times around 5:37 p.m. and 5:40 p.m., respectively. In contrast, Washington D.C. residents dine the latest on average, with a peak around 7:10 p.m."

https://www.delish.com/food-news/a61487582/when-is-dinner-time-state-by-state-early-bird-dining/

[Anonymous]

Who cares about averages that include college students, single people, dinks and retirees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. To answer some questions:
His work hours- he’s on maxi flex so it doesn’t matter as long as he hits 40.

We actually do have a good marriage. And yes this changed a bit over the past year. He didn’t work so long before. The project he’s on is very complex. It’s not me he’s avoiding. He’s happy to spend the rest of the evening with me once the kids are asleep. I think he genuinely forgets what time it is. And yeah it’s very very difficult to manage the kids during this time, we both dread it. He likes kids. I think both of us didn’t realize quite how hard kids are and how much we’d struggle with them.

Both of us have hands on dads and our moms worked. His mom wasn’t a sahm like suggested. We both grew up eating dinner at 6pm with both our parents present.

And over scheduling my kids?? We have a pretty low key schedule. We are healthy and I do cook from scratch, but I make a lot so we eat it as leftovers the next night.

I think it’s his work that’s the issue. He just needs to leave after 8 or 9 hours and tell them to hire more people. I would be fine with him working an extra hour daily. 8-5pm or 8-5:30.

I think you need to have a serious convo with him about doing his part in the evening routine. If he really is just “genuinely forgetting” it’s very simple to set an alarm on your phone or work calendar to remind you “time to go home” at 5 pm. It’s not that hard….

Seriously. That is a bs answer. Also I would not be ok at all with my kids being at before care and after care 7:30-6:30 because my husband who is a *fed* needs to f around for multiple hours every morning and work late.

I am a fed. This is not expected or reasonable. He needs to be home by 6. What happens when you tell him he really needs to be home by 6? What if you call him at 5:45. This is insane. I get annoyed because on the days my husband works at home he doesn’t come down until the second I text “dinner is on the table” because god forbid he stop working 3 minutes early but at least he does come and see our kids. And he earns a lot more than my fed salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sign up for an exercise class, or art class or book club or something that doesn't really exist but you tell him it does, that meets around 6:00 pm two times a week. Tell him he has to be home for that. Leave the kids with him and go enjoy yourself.

He will just call her and say he can’t make it home.
What he really needs to do is schedule a meeting or something at work at 8:00 so he has to go to work right after he drops the kids off at daycare instead of coming home and screwing around.