Husband invited family without my consent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the length of visit and where is everyone staying?

OP here. They will be arriving next Wednesday and staying until Sunday. They are all staying at our home.

Oh hell no! There is no way I would even consider this.

[Anonymous]

This is a weird thread. Everyone I know had grandparents visit very soon after their babies were born.

This place is so weird about family sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a weird thread. Everyone I know had grandparents visit very soon after their babies were born.

This place is so weird about family sometimes.

+1, so very weird about family!

[Anonymous]

I would be pissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I had him cancel friends but his parents will still be coming.

OP here. I told him he is in charge of getting the guest rooms and bathrooms set up. I’m not doing any of it.

Good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a weird thread. Everyone I know had grandparents visit very soon after their babies were born.

This place is so weird about family sometimes.

Well... if everyone YOU know does it, it's fine.

Also, I don't think you know many, or possibly ANYONE whose family forced themselves for 4-5 days of in home stay. It's not uncommon for family to stay AT A HOTEL, or maybe stay at the house but for a brief period. Like overnight. But only a real bunch of douchebags would insist on coming for an extended period of time without the mother's permission.

And, I guess, it should be noted, there are a ton of bad families out there.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. When I had my kids, I assumed we’d be getting lots of visitors who wanted to see the baby. It was sort of routine in my family and among my friends. People stopped over to visit for an hour or two and often brought food or a gift. Nobody expected to be hosted with a spread of food or for the house to be clean. I nursed my kids and left the room when it was time to feed with my 1st. By my 2nd, I just fed on the spot. If I had family for more than a few hours, i just said I was going to nap. It was a great break with trusted adults to hold the baby. Nobody minded. They just wanted to be helpful. If the issue is they are from out of town and planning to stay with you, I can see where this might be stressful. I would ask DH to arrange a hotel for them explaining you’re not up to hosting houseguests overnight. I was actually shocked when my in-laws took months to come for a visit from out of town. It just seemed weird and disinterested.

[Anonymous]

Your husband gets a 50% say. The baby is equally his. Sorry, Mom you don't rule. You don't get more of a say. You can be resting. They can stop by for a brief time and he can introduce them to the baby. They shouldn't stay with you though.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws and own family staying with us in those first weeks was so helpful for my sleep and mental health. Can’t imagine not having them there from day 1.

Agree with a pp, this area is very strange when it comes to family.

[Anonymous]

I think this is why DILs get a bad reputation. So odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know he didn’t have an ill intentions. He’s super excited to show our son to people and have them meet him. It’s an exciting time but it’s just not the right time. I would have said no had he talked to me first. Maybe at 1 month but not now.

Your DH needs to grow up stat and stop making moronic decisions without your input. I’m usually on the side of telling new parents to chill out but not on this one. Zero chance I would have wanted visitors this soon unless they stay in a hotel and stop by for an hour. He needs to tell his family it’s too soon and lesson for him to grow up. He’s a parent now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a strange dynamic to me. You just had a son. So you will one day be the MIL excited to meet her grandchild. I am frankly surprised they have waited almost 3 weeks. I do think asking them to stay in a hotel is reasonable, but if you have room why not have them stay with you and have your husband be in charge of hosting duties? I have 4 children and my out of town in-laws met each of them within a few days of birth. I was grateful to have an extended family who embraced my children/their grandchildren. I think this is just part of the deal and all this boundary talk is why people have such difficult relationships with their in-laws. They are family. Their visit doesn't have to be perfect, but let them in. It truly takes a village.

+1 this thread is sad to me. My out of town in-laws (and my own parents/siblings) came within days of all my kids’ births to stay with us. I’m surprised MIL isn’t disappointed she had to wait 3 weeks. Newborns change so much in the first month.

Just be quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a weird thread. Everyone I know had grandparents visit very soon after their babies were born.

This place is so weird about family sometimes.

Visit, yes. Host for 4 days? Heck no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband gets a 50% say. The baby is equally his. Sorry, Mom you don't rule. You don't get more of a say. You can be resting. They can stop by for a brief time and he can introduce them to the baby. They shouldn't stay with you though.

This is bull$hit. It is her body that is healing. He did his part in creation 9 months and 16 days ago. She gets more of a vote because of this.

It is not easy to predict when the baby will be sleeping and when she will be resting. Feeding schedules depend on her if she is breastfeeding. My son WOULD NOT take a bottle even if it was expressed milk. I needed to be the one to feed him. Second child had erratic feeding and sleeping patterns and cried ALOT.

Mom gets the deciding vote. A good partner recognizes this and realizes that his wife and baby come before his parents. Good in laws recognize this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can, wait until baby is 6 weeks before exposing to lots of germs. If baby is less than 6 weeks and gets a fever, you are looking at a hospital visit and spinal tap.

What is this trend to just say "baby" and not "the baby?"