I want my kids to go to top schools. Sue me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to pay 400k, so either top 20 where we qualify for FA or jump down a level to a school ranked 50-60.

The only schools we're not looking at are those very good but no real merit and no FA (like BC) and OOS publics that give no merit.

Yup, our family too. It's either an ivy or an in state public, maybe a merit-happy LAC. No in between.

I mean Ivys are great but they suck a bit at the moment. Rest of top 25 better IMO at the moment.

Harvard has its problems, but it still gives out better aid than schools like Hopkins or WashU, to say nothing of the OOS publics.

Not better for donut hole. Those other schools give merit prices.

I have 5mm net worth and got money from Yale. Your donut hole is pretty big ..

[Anonymous]

When considering an undergrad school, IMO the most important thing is to look at the percentage of full professors who teach. It’s better to be taught by a Ph.D than a T.A. Second, look at class size. You are more likely to find a mentor who will help you on your career path in a class of 25 vs a class of 100 or more. For those reasons, students shouldn’t overlook schools like Mary Washington or Christopher Newport. Yes, UVA and VT have broader name recognition and more prestige, but professors at the smaller schools can really help you get into top-notch grad schools. I truly believe in the benefits of being a big fish in a small pond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think once you hit 40 you accumulate life experience and realize where people went to college matters very little. The college landscape has also changed so much that most people (maybe not DCUM people!) understand someone choosing an "inferior" school or a state school over an Ivy might have done it simply because their top choice was not affordable at all given current prices. And of course a good education can be obtained everywhere. So there is nothing wrong with whatever path your kids want, as long as you do not put down other choices or judge them as less worthy.

My mom is 80 years old, at a “over 55” complex and last night another resident asked her where she went to college. We had a laugh over that. The woman wanted my mom to know she went to Smith. BUT- the really big thing is everyone brags about where their grandkids go to college. My mom bought a t-shirt from my kid’s Ivy to wear around. Lol

That's a little sad!

+1 I cannot imagine wearing a college T-shirt at age 50, much less 80 unless it's while attending a school related event.

You're boring. Love wearing my kid's school colors...Go Terps! Wherever child 2 ends up, I'll double my collegiate wear.

+1000
I still wear sweatshirts from my (not hyps or ivy) college sometimes, especially on weekends when they play a game against the Terps
Being happy and joyful in a community - ANY COMMUNITY - is a good thing, except for dour DCUM types who feel that admitting to liking something is for the poors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to pay 400k, so either top 20 where we qualify for FA or jump down a level to a school ranked 50-60.

The only schools we're not looking at are those very good but no real merit and no FA (like BC) and OOS publics that give no merit.

Yup, our family too. It's either an ivy or an in state public, maybe a merit-happy LAC. No in between.

I mean Ivys are great but they suck a bit at the moment. Rest of top 25 better IMO at the moment.

Harvard has its problems, but it still gives out better aid than schools like Hopkins or WashU, to say nothing of the OOS publics.

Hopkins gives out pretty good aid thanks to Bloomberg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to pay 400k, so either top 20 where we qualify for FA or jump down a level to a school ranked 50-60.

The only schools we're not looking at are those very good but no real merit and no FA (like BC) and OOS publics that give no merit.

Yup, our family too. It's either an ivy or an in state public, maybe a merit-happy LAC. No in between.

I mean Ivys are great but they suck a bit at the moment. Rest of top 25 better IMO at the moment.

Harvard has its problems, but it still gives out better aid than schools like Hopkins or WashU, to say nothing of the OOS publics.

Not better for donut hole. Those other schools give merit prices.

I have 5mm net worth and got money from Yale. Your donut hole is pretty big ..

Is most of that in qualified retirement accounts?

[Anonymous]

of course you. it's because you think going to a top school will make your child happy. and parents want happiness for their child.

but it doesn't necessarily bring happiness. it might. but it also might not. just like going to a school a few notches below might bring happiness or not.

my niece worked herself to death to get into an ivy (she got into multiple) and picked the one she thought would be least pressure cooker (brown) and ended up miserable. she graduated but now has moved to a small town and is doing a menial job not related to her degree because her mental health got so bad from being on a treadmill that she wants to fully opt out of life's rat race.

It's been an eye-opening shock to our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to pay 400k, so either top 20 where we qualify for FA or jump down a level to a school ranked 50-60.

The only schools we're not looking at are those very good but no real merit and no FA (like BC) and OOS publics that give no merit.

Yup, our family too. It's either an ivy or an in state public, maybe a merit-happy LAC. No in between.

I mean Ivys are great but they suck a bit at the moment. Rest of top 25 better IMO at the moment.

Harvard has its problems, but it still gives out better aid than schools like Hopkins or WashU, to say nothing of the OOS publics.

Hopkins gives out pretty good aid thanks to Bloomberg.

Hopkins is less bad than it was, but its endowment is still about a fifth of Harvard's and its need based aid is not as good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to pay 400k, so either top 20 where we qualify for FA or jump down a level to a school ranked 50-60.

The only schools we're not looking at are those very good but no real merit and no FA (like BC) and OOS publics that give no merit.

Yup, our family too. It's either an ivy or an in state public, maybe a merit-happy LAC. No in between.

I mean Ivys are great but they suck a bit at the moment. Rest of top 25 better IMO at the moment.

Harvard has its problems, but it still gives out better aid than schools like Hopkins or WashU, to say nothing of the OOS publics.

Hopkins gives out pretty good aid thanks to Bloomberg.

Hopkins is less bad than it was, but its endowment is still about a fifth of Harvard's and its need based aid is not as good.

How was Hopkins need based aid for your family? Which schools gave better and worse aid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it such a crime to want your child to get into a top school? Obviously “top” can mean different things, but whether it’s HYPSM or Ivies or even T50s, it shouldn’t be a horrible thing for parents to want their children to meet certain academic standards. It’s annoyed when people are attacked for wanting their kids to get a good education.

My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?

Thoughts? You're an insecure striver living through your kids. Probably a lowly fed or SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to pay 400k, so either top 20 where we qualify for FA or jump down a level to a school ranked 50-60.

The only schools we're not looking at are those very good but no real merit and no FA (like BC) and OOS publics that give no merit.

Yup, our family too. It's either an ivy or an in state public, maybe a merit-happy LAC. No in between.

I mean Ivys are great but they suck a bit at the moment. Rest of top 25 better IMO at the moment.

I dont understand this. I went to college when students camped out in the quad all the time, made noise, etc. The issue du jour was divestment from South Africa - the kids were right about that. And I live and work near Columbia so I saw this unfold. I thought the media made a lot of it and the administration didn't respond proportionally (ie, make people show ID to get on campus, cut the electricity to the quad). There were some bad days, but ... do you really think life on Dartmouth or Brown or Yale in 2024 is a lot different than in 2018? I don't. Kids dont care about admins comings and goings. Or the alumni donator class. The dorms are the same, the faculty is the same, the food is the same, the location is the same, the parties are the same, the sports are the same ..

I could have made a case for this during covid, but not now.

It is not just the protests. And yes life at an Ivy is different today than just two years ago. Tour guides said as much. You should go someplace you love if you can go there. Not saying don't go. Just go eyes wide open. Others in top 25 might be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it such a crime to want your child to get into a top school? Obviously “top” can mean different things, but whether it’s HYPSM or Ivies or even T50s, it shouldn’t be a horrible thing for parents to want their children to meet certain academic standards. It’s annoyed when people are attacked for wanting their kids to get a good education.

My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?

Thoughts? You're an insecure striver living through your kids. Probably a lowly fed or SAHM.

What do you consider a striver?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When considering an undergrad school, IMO the most important thing is to look at the percentage of full professors who teach. It’s better to be taught by a Ph.D than a T.A. Second, look at class size. You are more likely to find a mentor who will help you on your career path in a class of 25 vs a class of 100 or more. For those reasons, students shouldn’t overlook schools like Mary Washington or Christopher Newport. Yes, UVA and VT have broader name recognition and more prestige, but professors at the smaller schools can really help you get into top-notch grad schools. I truly believe in the benefits of being a big fish in a small pond.

It depends on what kind of grad school you're talking about. If you mean something like med school or law school then I agree. If you're aiming for a small grad program in a particular research field, then who your mentor is and how active their lab is really does matter. For a lot of scientific research that requires a well-funded lab, a research university is better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:of course you. it's because you think going to a top school will make your child happy. and parents want happiness for their child.

but it doesn't necessarily bring happiness. it might. but it also might not. just like going to a school a few notches below might bring happiness or not.

my niece worked herself to death to get into an ivy (she got into multiple) and picked the one she thought would be least pressure cooker (brown) and ended up miserable. she graduated but now has moved to a small town and is doing a menial job not related to her degree because her mental health got so bad from being on a treadmill that she wants to fully opt out of life's rat race.

It's been an eye-opening shock to our family.

Yes, people can crash and burn, or not crash and burn but perform the same as people who didn't go to prestigious schools, who start off in life with no debt (huge advantage). A huge part of it is also personality, how much of a go-getter you are, how self-motivated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?

Most likely both the parents and the children are low achieving. Community college are the best fit for both generations. And happy there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When considering an undergrad school, IMO the most important thing is to look at the percentage of full professors who teach. It’s better to be taught by a Ph.D than a T.A. Second, look at class size. You are more likely to find a mentor who will help you on your career path in a class of 25 vs a class of 100 or more. For those reasons, students shouldn’t overlook schools like Mary Washington or Christopher Newport. Yes, UVA and VT have broader name recognition and more prestige, but professors at the smaller schools can really help you get into top-notch grad schools. I truly believe in the benefits of being a big fish in a small pond.

It depends on what kind of grad school you're talking about. If you mean something like med school or law school then I agree. If you're aiming for a small grad program in a particular research field, then who your mentor is and how active their lab is really does matter. For a lot of scientific research that requires a well-funded lab, a research university is better.

In general, research universities are focused on graduate research and not undergrad. Lots of LACs provide students with lots of opportunities for undergraduate research and as part of that, close relationships with and mentoring by professors.