I want my kids to go to top schools. Sue me.

[Anonymous]

Op, why are you insulting and making-up things that others, you do not know, are thinking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it such a crime to want your child to get into a top school? Obviously “top” can mean different things, but whether it’s HYPSM or Ivies or even T50s, it shouldn’t be a horrible thing for parents to want their children to meet certain academic standards. It’s annoyed when people are attacked for wanting their kids to get a good education.

My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?

It's great to want that for your kid. I have questions about what parents DO to their kids in order to achieve that goal. I don't think it's worth the grinding preparation and incipient neurosis.

This. And there is no guarantee that the effort in is going to achieve a particular result so what is being done to a child in the attempt get a lottery ticket, because outside of a few hooks (and even not in all of those cases) it's a lottery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it such a crime to want your child to get into a top school? Obviously “top” can mean different things, but whether it’s HYPSM or Ivies or even T50s, it shouldn’t be a horrible thing for parents to want their children to meet certain academic standards. It’s annoyed when people are attacked for wanting their kids to get a good education.

My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?

IME it is people who did not get in who criticize. We know several . Applied to T30s then criticized them all after not in and bragged about commonplace “merit” to SMU or UT or Bama or whatever. These are people who can afford it and were not looking for merit, that’s often different .

There are some who just do not come from elite schools themselves (and have seen the resource differences in the supports to launch to top med and law), or top grad schools where over half are from T30s. They don’t know what they don’t know.

Signed a need-aid kid who went to a top school, know many others who were needy at the time. We all agree the path forward was well- paved by the opportunities and advantages of an elite undergrad experience.

[Anonymous]

Because alot of the parents on this board have been through this process, probably more than once. We've seen it end badly, we've seen the posts from parents who said their kid has all WL responses, we've heard from kids and parents who are transferring after the first year because it was a bad fit (thought a top school). That's why.

[Anonymous]

pp^ i will add my kids DO go to a top 30 school, maybe it's not Ivy, but they are at schools which parents on this board want their kid to attend. Its not jealousy, its literally I have heard this story before and I know how it ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it such a crime to want your child to get into a top school? Obviously “top” can mean different things, but whether it’s HYPSM or Ivies or even T50s, it shouldn’t be a horrible thing for parents to want their children to meet certain academic standards. It’s annoyed when people are attacked for wanting their kids to get a good education.

My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?

I also want my child to go to a good school but probably not as "top" as you describe. I think they are capable.

That said, even though we do fairly well I want to balance that with affordability and quality of life.

So I can absolutely imagine a world where people have high achieving kids or capable kids but maybe just don't see "top schools" as the end all be all and bristle at that, because typically those schools are only affordable to the well-off and/or lucky ones who get sufficient enough aid to attend without strike.

I mean, expand your bubble to other socio-economic lenses if you can't genuinely see that, I think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of DCUM agrees with you even if they won’t admit it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Of course I want my kid to get a good education. I don't really comment on the college forum or really the education forum in general, but I do think sometimes the push for top education is at a detriment to the kid. I went to one of the top high schools in the country. The pressure and stress was ridiculous. I was fortunate that my chosen career path didn't require that I go to a top college, so I didn't feel as much pressure. Sometimes I see posts on here and all I can think is "sure, your kid may get into a top college, but at what cost?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people want their kids to go to the best school they can afford. If you’re focused exclusively on the “best” part, it’s probably because you either have a giant amount of money or you’re naive about costs.

Also, everyone has a different definition of “top.” You mentioned “top 50” as one definition. You may be surprised to learn that these are some schools that are within the “top 50”:

UMD
UC Irvine
University of Georgia
University of Florida
University of Rochester
University of Richmond
Connecticut College
Depauw University

Good colleges. T50 works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people want their kids to go to the best school they can afford. If you’re focused exclusively on the “best” part, it’s probably because you either have a giant amount of money or you’re naive about costs.

Also, everyone has a different definition of “top.” You mentioned “top 50” as one definition. You may be surprised to learn that these are some schools that are within the “top 50”:

UMD
UC Irvine
University of Georgia
University of Florida
University of Rochester
University of Richmond
Connecticut College
Depauw University

Good colleges. T50 works.

Top 50 SLAC are not the same as Top 50 national universities. You are mixing the two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?

There are toxic sociopathic people just anywhere. DCUM not immune.
Just ignore them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of DCUM agrees with you even if they won’t admit it.

+1. No one on DCUM wants their kid to go to a school outside of the T20. Why are you thinking that you are some kind of unicorn, OP?

[Anonymous]

The reality is that yes, most parents want "a top school" in theory for their kid, but when the time actually comes you will see that it's not an easy road and unless your kid is an exceptional student beyond what you are likely imagining, or Athlete, your definition of "top" will change significantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people want their kids to go to the best school they can afford. If you’re focused exclusively on the “best” part, it’s probably because you either have a giant amount of money or you’re naive about costs.

Also, everyone has a different definition of “top.” You mentioned “top 50” as one definition. You may be surprised to learn that these are some schools that are within the “top 50”:

UMD
UC Irvine
University of Georgia
University of Florida
University of Rochester
University of Richmond
Connecticut College
Depauw University

Good colleges. T50 works.

Top 50 SLAC are not the same as Top 50 national universities. You are mixing the two.

Ok. Top 50 national universities and Top 25 SLACs.

That should cover it when there's 4,000 colleges.

There.🙂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:pp^ i will add my kids DO go to a top 30 school, maybe it's not Ivy, but they are at schools which parents on this board want their kid to attend. Its not jealousy, its literally I have heard this story before and I know how it ends.

Top 30 is dog food for the loons on this board.