I want my kids to go to top schools. Sue me.

[Anonymous]

OP, why so defensive?

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it such a crime to want your child to get into a top school? Obviously “top” can mean different things, but whether it’s HYPSM or Ivies or even T50s, it shouldn’t be a horrible thing for parents to want their children to meet certain academic standards. It’s annoyed when people are attacked for wanting their kids to get a good education.

My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?

It isn't a crime to eat at McDonalds every day either, but people can criticize it. Versus hypothesizing, you would be better off parsing their criticism and take out of it what is of value and discard the rest. If you did so you might find the useful criticisms to be:
1. Those who are obsessed about ranking T20s/T50s should realize that a good education can come from anywhere and successful people come from less ranked universities too (eg., Tim Cook went to Auburn #97).
2. A fit for the child is important too. eg., Look up student feedback on Cornell, Columbia or Chicago in the areas of competition vs cooperation, student happiness, workload, balance... these schools are good for some students but others will be miserable there. The parent's ambition or ignorance could hurt the child if forced into the wrong schools.
3. It's the child's life not the parent's. Some parents brush aside the thinking of their children assuming they don"t know much or even worse assuming they are lazy or not ambitious. It is important to guide not decide for the child here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of DCUM agrees with you even if they won’t admit it.

+1. No one on DCUM wants their kid to go to a school outside of the T20. Why are you thinking that you are some kind of unicorn, OP?

I’m on DCUM and I wouldn’t have wanted my DC to go to a T20. Luckily she didn’t want to either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of DCUM agrees with you even if they won’t admit it.

+1. No one on DCUM wants their kid to go to a school outside of the T20. Why are you thinking that you are some kind of unicorn, OP?

I’m on DCUM and I wouldn’t have wanted my DC to go to a T20. Luckily she didn’t want to either.

Why not? Serious Q. Mine are at ivies and love them, i went to a different one and loved it

[Anonymous]

I totally agree OP! My husband and I grew up deprived. When our kid graduated from Princeton, it was one of the best days of our lives. It showed us that the American Dream is still possible. Our kid has done better than our wildest dreams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem to think the only way to get a good education is to get into a top 50 school. I went to community college and learned a TON in some classes and absolutely nothing in others. But I'm 48 and still reference some of the things I learned in the good classes (which weren't even my major).

Not OP. I certainly do not believe you have to go to a top 50 to get a good education or to get far and ahead in life. So much is on the person.

But while that is true, it is also true that the better the school the more pathways to the future and possibly an easier climb but possibly not. It is really the options a better school gives you. At the better school you may not take advantage or you may squander. But they are there. For Ivys and the like --- but not just Ivys ----- the network is crazy. You do not have to take advantage of it but it is there. The connections you can make with professors can get more meaningful at those schools which opens other pathways. Lots of places may interview and recruit at UChicago but not Towson. Towson is a great school but you possible pathways are greater at UChicago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?

There are toxic sociopathic people just anywhere. DCUM not immune.
Just ignore them.

Agree. These sociopaths are everywhere, college confidential, now spread over here on DCUM.

Their attacks are without basis, they allege OP is doing harm to the kid, they assert OP didn't know fit is important for the kid.

The truth is OP, or anyone here on DCUM, would've known much better than these sociopaths.

Get a life, losers!

[Anonymous]

When did it become odd for a parent to be happy about the college your child decided to attend? I'm perplexed by this attitude. Serious question, do you, as parents, tell them where to apply to college? Do your kids have a say where they attend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree OP! My husband and I grew up deprived. When our kid graduated from Princeton, it was one of the best days of our lives. It showed us that the American Dream is still possible. Our kid has done better than our wildest dreams.

+1

My kid is at an Ivy. Something my parents never could afford for us—even with the stats to go to one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of DCUM agrees with you even if they won’t admit it.

+1. No one on DCUM wants their kid to go to a school outside of the T20. Why are you thinking that you are some kind of unicorn, OP?

I’m not! Looking back at my original post, I may have misphrased it. Basically my point was that it’s sort of an unspoken rule to not bring up the fact that you “push” your kid, and parents who do are criticized. I’m certain there are others who feel this way but don’t say it because they don’t feel like being harassed and censured.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree OP! My husband and I grew up deprived. When our kid graduated from Princeton, it was one of the best days of our lives. It showed us that the American Dream is still possible. Our kid has done better than our wildest dreams.

I love this.

[Anonymous]

So is it ok if my kid just signed a $50 million NIL with a big state school that might be just out of the top 50? He will make more in college than I will make in my lifetime. SMH. You guys enjoy your top 1o, or whatever!

[Anonymous]

Talking about "push". Student athletes are the ones got pushed the most, non-stop training from a young age. Quintessential child abuse. It seems everyone is fine with that. The truth is none of these kids wants to train as an athlete, it's all parents' "pushing" starting when they were very young.

[Anonymous]

Sorry! I mis spoke $3.5 million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So is it ok if my kid just signed a $50 million NIL with a big state school that might be just out of the top 50? He will make more in college than I will make in my lifetime. SMH. You guys enjoy your top 1o, or whatever!

Sure…in your make believe world since nobody has signed a $50MM NIL deal.

$5MM…makes your kid the highest paid NIL deal to date but believable (and easily verified and searchable) considering the current top deal is $4.7MM.