I want my kids to go to top schools. Sue me.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I want my kids
1AAA) have Christ in their lives
1) to be healthy
2) to be kind
3) to be attractive
4) to be fertile and have choices
5) to be hard workers
6) to be smart
7) to be focused
8) to get whatever education they need to do what they want for work.

The only schools I am moderately impressed by are Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Annapolis, Hopkins, West Point, MIT and Stanford

All others are fighting for king crap of turd mountain to me but they serve their purpose.


Well my kid turned down Hopkins for turd mountain apparently. Quality of life and location matter a lot. As an alum- I’m happy he chose elsewhere.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I want my kids
1AAA) have Christ in their lives
1) to be healthy
2) to be kind
3) to be attractive
4) to be fertile and have choices
5) to be hard workers
6) to be smart
7) to be focused
8) to get whatever education they need to do what they want for work.

The only schools I am moderately impressed by are Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Annapolis, Hopkins, West Point, MIT and Stanford

All others are fighting for king crap of turd mountain to me but they serve their purpose.

Attractive > Smart
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I want my kids
1AAA) have Christ in their lives
1) to be healthy
2) to be kind
3) to be attractive
4) to be fertile and have choices
5) to be hard workers
6) to be smart
7) to be focused
8) to get whatever education they need to do what they want for work.

The only schools I am moderately impressed by are Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Annapolis, Hopkins, West Point, MIT and Stanford

All others are fighting for king crap of turd mountain to me but they serve their purpose.


Well my kid turned down Hopkins for turd mountain apparently. Quality of life and location matter a lot. As an alum- I’m happy he chose elsewhere.


Don’t feed the troll!!! 😂
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Some people just don’t value status.

If my children want to apply to an Ivy, fine. I won’t discourage them. If they choose a state school, that is equally fine. They’ll do well wherever they go, and my respect/love for them won’t change.

It’s just a name on a sweatshirt to me.


Thank you for this! I just can't understand the need for parents who pressure their kids to attend top 10-20 universities. Is it your goal or your kids?

It's hard for some to believe my kid had the stats to attend top 20's, but absolutely didn't want to attend many of those schools. We let our kid decide where to attend college. Finished a great freshman year, made the deans list and was very social.

Not all kids are looking for more years of the slog from top private schools to top academic universities, especially if they don't have a desire to attend graduate school or an advanced degree.

We maybe the problem. We did well out of state colleges and have a high net wealth. We have raised our kids to follow their dreams, not ours.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you think top schools = top notch education, or do you just want to be able to brag about where they go to school?



It's going to be both, isn't it? They will get a better education at MIT and most of the other top 20s. And more importantly, they will have a bright, accomplished peer group and an interesting college experience. And also generally better professional opportunities. And of course the parents are going to feel validated and think they did a good job with the parenting thing. Not sure where the issue is.


This is not actually true though.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you think top schools = top notch education, or do you just want to be able to brag about where they go to school?



It's going to be both, isn't it? They will get a better education at MIT and most of the other top 20s. And more importantly, they will have a bright, accomplished peer group and an interesting college experience. And also generally better professional opportunities. And of course the parents are going to feel validated and think they did a good job with the parenting thing. Not sure where the issue is.


This is not actually true though.
It is. You should spend more time around MIT students.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People are making a lot of assumptions just on the fact a kid is headed to an Ivy.

We are the farthest thing from tiger parents. We were the parents raising our hands in elementary school orientation to ask how long PE was...and then lobbying for more recess time.

We did not tutor or push either of our kids. They both had test scores and learning that qualified way above the GT cutoff, but neither was placed in GT because by 4th grade it was filled with the Kumon kids and the kids with parents names on the side of the building or the school path.

My kids both were always quick learners with big memories and academic leanings. The only thing we did was support their interests at that point in time---sports---driving/$/time; interested in Legos--trips to legoland, countless lego sets, movies, etc., Dinosaurs? puzzle books, etc., Reading was big in our house. Current events too.

By middle school, neither son needed any reminders or support for us for school work and easily obtaining As in all courses which continued through HS along with 99%+ test scores. Older son was in charge of his college list and applications. I was all set for him to get rejected from the state flagship because that was the horror story everyone kept telling us...also pushing him to ED (which he did not anywhere). Counselor providing list of lower rated schools, etc. Kid applied mainly to T10 and T20 and did incredibly well and is headed to an Ivy next year (surprise to all of us). He hadn't talked about it much, and we never discussed attending an Ivy--neither of us did. I went to a public university, spouse a T20. He is the first headed to an Ivy.

My kid is self-motivated and all of this is from him. He had a big social life, sports life and was never stressed out. Easy-going.

So this idea that every kid headed to an Ivy was micromanaged, tiger mom'd, polished and forced that direction is not true for everyone. In fact, my kid's other two friends headed to Ivies are very low-key, non-helicopter kids that also weren't pushed into summer programs or internships or starting non-profits, etc.


How virtuous of you.


You missed the point. It’s not about the kids who are self driven and got lucky with no impediments in their way to do really well in school. It’s about the parents who think they can make their child into a student qualified for Ivy Leagues by pushing and shoving and not accepting that might not be the best route for this particular child.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why is it such a crime to want your child to get into a top school? Obviously “top” can mean different things, but whether it’s HYPSM or Ivies or even T50s, it shouldn’t be a horrible thing for parents to want their children to meet certain academic standards. It’s annoyed when people are attacked for wanting their kids to get a good education.

My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?


You do you — you want top schools for your kids, go for it. But your assumption is not true. In fact, lots of parents who went to Ivies or equivalent have a healthy understanding of what the importance of undergrad is in terms of life outcome, and it is not that much.


This.

I’m many years out from college and can see top 10 does not mean success. I think GPA, choice of major, and personality matter more.

As Malcolm Gladwell pointed out, students in the top ten of ANY university tend to do well.

The parents who think T20 is the only answer are narrow minded.

Anonymous
Sue you? We have better things to do. No one cares where your kid goes to college. Posters here think that college is some kind of an end goal. There is life after college too. In the end, you want your kids to be happy. They can be happy without going to a top 20 college too.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why is it such a crime to want your child to get into a top school? Obviously “top” can mean different things, but whether it’s HYPSM or Ivies or even T50s, it shouldn’t be a horrible thing for parents to want their children to meet certain academic standards. It’s annoyed when people are attacked for wanting their kids to get a good education.

My hypothesis is that the people criticizing these parents are the parents of children who aren’t high-achieving enough to get into good schools. Otherwise, why does it matter to them so much?

Thoughts?


+ people think that instead of giving genuine advise, they could just attack parents who want to understand the world of education more. And they do it without even knowing what those children are capable of.
Anonymous
I find the people in DC who are invested in these elite institutions to be some of the most dogmatic, shrill. Status-obsessed, and unpleasant people I've ever met... And what's also remarkable: they don't seem all that smart.

I was kinda proud when I realized DD was going to be looking at the CTCL list and not the ivies.

I won't sue you for waking your kid to go to a TT school. I'm just glad that there's so many degrees of separation between us, because I don't think I want your kids coming over for holidays.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, most of DCUM agrees with you even if they won’t admit it.


I genuinely do not agree. DH and I are both HYPSM with amazing kids who are smarter than we were. But it would be setting them up for failure to expect them to get into the same schools, given how the decks are stacked against them (Asian, DMV, wealthy but not enough to give multi-million dollar donations)
Anonymous
Share your info so we can sue you
Anonymous
It smacks of walking thru life in need of external validation. Assuming brand names are always better and trying to impress others.

Finding a list of schools that offer quality education, but are curated with your kid in mind is a far more nuanced and time-consuming way to approach the process. Versus delegating that important job to USNWR and a paid stranger.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I find the people in DC who are invested in these elite institutions to be some of the most dogmatic, shrill. Status-obsessed, and unpleasant people I've ever met... And what's also remarkable: they don't seem all that smart.

I was kinda proud when I realized DD was going to be looking at the CTCL list and not the ivies.

I won't sue you for waking your kid to go to a TT school. I'm just glad that there's so many degrees of separation between us, because I don't think I want your kids coming over for holidays.


I was also proud when my kid chose a CTCL over more highly ranked admits. It meant they were their own person, internally vs externally-driven . I felt I had done a good job as a parent.
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