Women, how has having kids impacted your career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For every single ‘it was only positive’ theres 50 ‘it completely derailed my career’ stories.

Completely derailed mine. I was a term employee and it happened near the end of my term. Brutal. The second one came at less awful timing then I made some bad decisions around pregnancies that ultimately miscarried. Such is life

[Anonymous]

https://www.amazon.com/Regretting-Motherhood-Study-Orna-Donath/dp/1623171377

Here is a book about regretting motherhood. It necessarily dissuade women from having kids but stories about the struggles moms have are important to consider when making the decision. I do not regret having kids but I think being a mom would have been easier if I had gone into motherhood with my eyes open. I'd be more aware of what to expect and I would have had kids at a different point in life.

Oh, and having kids totally messed up my career. I realy thought I could go part time, but then the 2008 recession happened and I never got back on track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am on the fence about having them and would appreciate hearing the impact, positive or negative, that having children has had on your working life.

Have the children. It is a sad state of society we are in when folks pit having kids against career. We are whole human beings, not designed to go through life alone. Have your babies and thrive in your career!

-Signed Mother of 6 with a Thriving Career

There is more to the story here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After reading all of these responses my question is this:

How has you having a career impacted your kids?

Please try to be honest about both the positive and the negative.

I had a similar reaction. The OP is framed backwards, in terms of priorities.

[Anonymous]

When I see elderly people (or people of any age) who are sick in the hospital - the career does not matter. We’ve had people who were judges and surgeons who dedicated their lives to their work. At the end of the day, relationships with people by your side matter. Kids are a nice way (forced way) to make you look outside yourself and build those relationships. Whatever you do make sure you build *multi generational * relationships with people. It’s not all about career.

[Anonymous]

Marianne Lake who is next in line to be CEO of Chase has two kids. She just had them via sperm donor as it is the husband that gets in the way.

The old CEO of Citigroup was a women she had then herself but had a stay at home dad.

It’s the husband not the kids that impact career.

The Fox News host Angie Hoff has four young kids I bet she has a good husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I see elderly people (or people of any age) who are sick in the hospital - the career does not matter. We’ve had people who were judges and surgeons who dedicated their lives to their work. At the end of the day, relationships with people by your side matter. Kids are a nice way (forced way) to make you look outside yourself and build those relationships. Whatever you do make sure you build *multi generational * relationships with people. It’s not all about career.

OK? But I want to earn more money and have a good career so I can provide for my kids futures and give them a good start in life, and maybe retire early and have a chance to spend quality time with them. I think a lot of people aren’t really looking to make money for money sake. It’s for the freedom it represents, and this stability you can give your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I see elderly people (or people of any age) who are sick in the hospital - the career does not matter. We’ve had people who were judges and surgeons who dedicated their lives to their work. At the end of the day, relationships with people by your side matter. Kids are a nice way (forced way) to make you look outside yourself and build those relationships. Whatever you do make sure you build *multi generational * relationships with people. It’s not all about career.

Garbage. When people have impressive careers, of course this is a big part of the narrative when they die. Their colleagues and work friends come out and speak their praises. People remember what you accomplished when you die. People look back on their lives with satisfaction. Maybe not everyone, but I also know a lot of sahms who at 70 look back with regret at their life for not doing more. Work won’t be the only thing you look back on when you die, but to act like it is meaningless or not noticed in old age is disingenuous. And in any event, it’s not like the hospice nurses are raving about how many PTA parties their patients planned forty years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am on the fence about having them and would appreciate hearing the impact, positive or negative, that having children has had on your working life.

Have the children. It is a sad state of society we are in when folks pit having kids against career. We are whole human beings, not designed to go through life alone. Have your babies and thrive in your career!

-Signed Mother of 6 with a Thriving Career

Being a mom is a career. It’s just not for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After reading all of these responses my question is this:

How has you having a career impacted your kids?

Please try to be honest about both the positive and the negative.

I had a similar reaction. The OP is framed backwards, in terms of priorities.

Good point, but no one would ask the same thing of a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I see elderly people (or people of any age) who are sick in the hospital - the career does not matter. We’ve had people who were judges and surgeons who dedicated their lives to their work. At the end of the day, relationships with people by your side matter. Kids are a nice way (forced way) to make you look outside yourself and build those relationships. Whatever you do make sure you build *multi generational * relationships with people. It’s not all about career.

Garbage. When people have impressive careers, of course this is a big part of the narrative when they die. Their colleagues and work friends come out and speak their praises. People remember what you accomplished when you die. People look back on their lives with satisfaction. Maybe not everyone, but I also know a lot of sahms who at 70 look back with regret at their life for not doing more. Work won’t be the only thing you look back on when you die, but to act like it is meaningless or not noticed in old age is disingenuous. And in any event, it’s not like the hospice nurses are raving about how many PTA parties their patients planned forty years ago.

Especially if someone is in a helping profession, like a teaching or healthcare, of course their career is meaningful and they impacted many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I see elderly people (or people of any age) who are sick in the hospital - the career does not matter. We’ve had people who were judges and surgeons who dedicated their lives to their work. At the end of the day, relationships with people by your side matter. Kids are a nice way (forced way) to make you look outside yourself and build those relationships. Whatever you do make sure you build *multi generational * relationships with people. It’s not all about career.

Garbage. When people have impressive careers, of course this is a big part of the narrative when they die. Their colleagues and work friends come out and speak their praises. People remember what you accomplished when you die. People look back on their lives with satisfaction. Maybe not everyone, but I also know a lot of sahms who at 70 look back with regret at their life for not doing more. Work won’t be the only thing you look back on when you die, but to act like it is meaningless or not noticed in old age is disingenuous. And in any event, it’s not like the hospice nurses are raving about how many PTA parties their patients planned forty years ago.

I truly have never seen people who are elderly with their coworkers by their side. Usually their coworkers are also old or people have forgotten their legacy. If we learn about their work it’s usually their kids bragging about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I see elderly people (or people of any age) who are sick in the hospital - the career does not matter. We’ve had people who were judges and surgeons who dedicated their lives to their work. At the end of the day, relationships with people by your side matter. Kids are a nice way (forced way) to make you look outside yourself and build those relationships. Whatever you do make sure you build *multi generational * relationships with people. It’s not all about career.

To be honest when you are old and dying, your children won’t matter either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I see elderly people (or people of any age) who are sick in the hospital - the career does not matter. We’ve had people who were judges and surgeons who dedicated their lives to their work. At the end of the day, relationships with people by your side matter. Kids are a nice way (forced way) to make you look outside yourself and build those relationships. Whatever you do make sure you build *multi generational * relationships with people. It’s not all about career.

To be honest when you are old and dying, your children won’t matter either.

Sure tell yourself that. Kids are a huge part of advocating for their parents care. I’m not saying you have to have kids but you need to have relationships or people in your life outside work otherwise in this health care system good luck.

[Anonymous]

I work for a F50 company. The women that climb the ranks are in the following situations:

-Married no kids
-Married with 1 or 2 kids, and SAH spouse

I do not see single women, moms with lots of kids, or women married to breadwinners climbing the ranks at my very large, very successful employer. Those groups of women can certainly have satisfying and interesting careers with the company, but they only get so far before stagnating.

Moving up into higher ranks at my employer entails complete flexibility, including moving to wherever they tell you to, traveling whenever they need you to, and being available whenever they call. It is very very difficult for most moms to accommodate that type of lifestyle while raising children.