Considering Transition to a Stay at Home Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was in and out of the workforce all my life. I can see the most important time for her to be home was when we were teenagers. It’s so ironic, because it’s not that we needed babysitting. But we needed someone who wasn’t mad over dinnertime (about work), tired and spent, couldn’t help us or listen. We needed someone to notice when we were up to no good.

We were latchkey kids (sort of. Dad got home early every day). But, we needed her in a specific way when we were in HS.

I agree. People should be allowed to have 2 20-he part time jobs. Or 40-60hr. Or 80. Or 30.

It’s 2023. Flexible work patterns should be normalized.

It’s things like this which is why I *really* wish there were more decently-paid PT jobs available. 40-50 hours is too much but 0 hours is too little. 25-30 hours would be perfect

[Anonymous]

My comment messed up the formatting. Read the last 2 comments and you’ll see.

[Anonymous]

Do what you want. You have the freedom to do so! Just stay employable (classes, short term gigs, certs, attending association meetups) as a backup plan.

[Anonymous]

Suggest always, always having 3 professional connections.

That’s how many you may need to get into a return to work situation. For example, I was having issues even applying as a lowly (but needed and awesome) school sub. 3 references. I have a million private references. People who know I’d do great. But they couldn’t be the reference for me.

I ended up with 3, but hard to gather them all at the same moment. I think the application lapsed. I found other work too…

[Anonymous]

OP, this (not surprisingly) turned into a debate about whether anyone should ever be able to choose to stay home. There are a lot of dcums who feel strongly that no one ever should, no matter the circumstances. That’s not what you asked, though. You asked what financial considerations you should take into account.

Unfortunately, what we don’t know is what your financial picture looks like. How stable your husband’s job is. Whether you anticipate any inheritance or expenses related to elderly family members. What your hopes are with respect to retirement and what kind of life insurance policy the high earning spouse has or savings you’ve amassed in case he is no longer able to work.

What we do know is that it sounds like you could hop back into working more easily than others in different industries if need be. We also know if life changes, you can make a change. You can sell a house and move somewhere cheaper. You can place kids in public schools.

This decision can be a “right now” decision that may or may not be permanent. Right now, it’s a no-brainer. You can afford to stay home and you’d like to do so.

I’d ignore the posters who, at their core, just don’t respect the decision for anyone to choose to SAH. If they feel they only have value and worth through paid employment that’s just fine and they get to make that choice for themselves. Everyone values different things. You get to make the choice (along with your spouse) for your family. You are fortunate to have the financial resources to choose. Wishing you the best of luck as you navigate the shift, if that is your ultimate decision.