Visiting family - Prayers before meals

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ask them to make it a short prayer so the food doesn't get cold.

"God is great, God is good. Lord we thank you for this food. Amen."

" Rub a dub! dub!"
"Thanks for the grub!"
" Yaaaaay God!"

My uncle, a retired Catholic priest, has been known to use this prayer before meals when other family members make a BIG DEAL out of having a priest at the dinner table.

He’s not a fan of performative prayer.

Saying grace at thanksgiving is performative?

Maybe op having anxiety over family saying grace is performative.

DP, no, that's not his point. PP referenced the vanity of the host; pride in having a priest at the meal makes the prayer performative.

Most Catholics aren't fans of performative prayer. I like this quote from Pope Francis: "The Lord tells us: the first task in life is this: prayer. But not the prayer of words like a parrot, but the prayer of the heart, gazing on the Lord, hearing the Lord, asking the Lord."

Prayer is too often turned into something other than prayer. In PP's Thanksgiving example, the host made a "BIG DEAL" over the priest giving grace, which tuned grace into an act of vanity. The priest countered that by offering a humble blessing. In a public place shared by others like a restaurant, a humble, silent prayer is just as good for the earnest believer; there is no need to hold a public prayer meeting at Burger King. The louder and more publicly disruptive you are, the more your prayer risks being something else: vanity, proselytizing, pretense, hypocrisy.

A prayer with family over a meal is an act of vanity?


Christians have a long tradition of pausing and thanking God before eating a meal. It’s so common that sometimes we can slide into and out of our prayer without much thought.

It’s humbling to say, “thank you.” To give thanks before eating is an act of expressing gratitude.

In the life of Jesus, we see him regularly stopping to thank God for providing food. He prays before the feeding of the 5,000 (Matt. 14:19). He prays before the Last Supper (Matt. 26:26–29).

Are you a Christian, pp?

DP. Of course Christians should pray. But Jesus also said this (Matthew 6:5):

International Version
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

troll alert 🚨

More like you're a troll who wants to argue about scripture about prayers. The bible quote literally references how it can be "performative", why is that an issue for you?

Why do you think you are the expert on how other people pray? You aren’t, at all. Mind your own business; you have no right to tell others how/when/why/where to pray.

But PP DOES have a right to have an opinion on it, no?

What is the point and reason pp has an opinion on other people praying?

What is the reason pp has to judge other people for their religious beliefs?

What are your religious beliefs?

Answer the question asked, and then you will get answers to yours.

Does PP have the right to have an opinion on it?

why does pp (who isn’t a Christian, probably) have such strong emotions and opinions about people practicing their religious beliefs? I thought atheism was just a disbelief in God, nothing more?

Why does pp care what others do?

Astoundingly, I guess I need to repeat:

Answer the question asked, and then you will get answers to yours.

Does PP have the right to have an opinion on it?

Yes, people have a right to judge others, but why they take the time to do so shows they have issues with control and respect. People practicing their religion have every right to do so; it’s explicitly stated in our fundamental foundational documents we have that right. Why does pp’s opinion contradict that?

You don’t see the irony in your post? The glaring, obvious irony?

I guess you also have “issues with control and respect” then?

[Anonymous]

You can't take 10 seconds to give thanks for the bountiful food on the table?

OP, why did you marry your husband? He went to church and attended church schools and grew up in a religious home.

For 1000's of years people farmed and knew feast and famine. Grace is a thank you for the food on the table.

[Anonymous]

OP, I grew up with Quaker traditions. We do a moment of silence before meals.

[Anonymous]

Stay home and send DH he grew up with these traditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stay home and send DH he grew up with these traditions.

Love these “it’s easy for me to tell you to burn every bridge” idiots

[Anonymous]

It all sounds very performative and like they like drawing attention to themselves. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles. They’re your in laws. You don’t live with them and probably don’t see them every week. Just think about something else while your head is bowed in “prayer.”

No OP
You are an adult you don’t have to pray

I would not absolutely not

Nobody is asking OP to pray. They’re asking her to be respectful and not disrupt the prayers by stomping off or announcing that she’d rather talk about abortion. Learn the difference.

And they can do that, when they host in their house. When in someone else’s house, you follow THEIR customs and rules.

Why can’t you pray silently alone before you eat? Why do you need attention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh grow up! It's ok to not feel comfortable every second of your life. The world doesn't revolve around you. Maybe reflect upon why it bothers you so much?

Oh good! Then OP’s relatives will be able to deal just fine with the discomfort of saying an individual silent prayer before they eat in her home instead of making their usual show of it. Good to know!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ask them to make it a short prayer so the food doesn't get cold.

"God is great, God is good. Lord we thank you for this food. Amen."

" Rub a dub! dub!"
"Thanks for the grub!"
" Yaaaaay God!"

My uncle, a retired Catholic priest, has been known to use this prayer before meals when other family members make a BIG DEAL out of having a priest at the dinner table.

He’s not a fan of performative prayer.

Saying grace at thanksgiving is performative?

Maybe op having anxiety over family saying grace is performative.

DP, no, that's not his point. PP referenced the vanity of the host; pride in having a priest at the meal makes the prayer performative.

Most Catholics aren't fans of performative prayer. I like this quote from Pope Francis: "The Lord tells us: the first task in life is this: prayer. But not the prayer of words like a parrot, but the prayer of the heart, gazing on the Lord, hearing the Lord, asking the Lord."

Prayer is too often turned into something other than prayer. In PP's Thanksgiving example, the host made a "BIG DEAL" over the priest giving grace, which tuned grace into an act of vanity. The priest countered that by offering a humble blessing. In a public place shared by others like a restaurant, a humble, silent prayer is just as good for the earnest believer; there is no need to hold a public prayer meeting at Burger King. The louder and more publicly disruptive you are, the more your prayer risks being something else: vanity, proselytizing, pretense, hypocrisy.

A prayer with family over a meal is an act of vanity?


Christians have a long tradition of pausing and thanking God before eating a meal. It’s so common that sometimes we can slide into and out of our prayer without much thought.

It’s humbling to say, “thank you.” To give thanks before eating is an act of expressing gratitude.

In the life of Jesus, we see him regularly stopping to thank God for providing food. He prays before the feeding of the 5,000 (Matt. 14:19). He prays before the Last Supper (Matt. 26:26–29).

Are you a Christian, pp?

DP. Of course Christians should pray. But Jesus also said this (Matthew 6:5):

International Version
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

troll alert 🚨

More like you're a troll who wants to argue about scripture about prayers. The bible quote literally references how it can be "performative", why is that an issue for you?

Why do you think you are the expert on how other people pray? You aren’t, at all. Mind your own business; you have no right to tell others how/when/why/where to pray.

But PP DOES have a right to have an opinion on it, no?

What is the point and reason pp has an opinion on other people praying?

What is the reason pp has to judge other people for their religious beliefs?

What are your religious beliefs?

Answer the question asked, and then you will get answers to yours.

Does PP have the right to have an opinion on it?

why does pp (who isn’t a Christian, probably) have such strong emotions and opinions about people practicing their religious beliefs? I thought atheism was just a disbelief in God, nothing more?

Why does pp care what others do?

Stop deflecting and answer the questions. Thanks. DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles. They’re your in laws. You don’t live with them and probably don’t see them every week. Just think about something else while your head is bowed in “prayer.”

No OP
You are an adult you don’t have to pray

I would not absolutely not

Nobody is asking OP to pray. They’re asking her to be respectful and not disrupt the prayers by stomping off or announcing that she’d rather talk about abortion. Learn the difference.

And they can do that, when they host in their house. When in someone else’s house, you follow THEIR customs and rules.

Why can’t you pray silently alone before you eat? Why do you need attention?

That's so rude. If you want to pray that is fine, but you really shouldn't try and shame or force others to pray. I doubt youd want someone else forcing you to adhere to their rules, or banning you from doing yours.

[Anonymous]

I am the in the same situation, OP. I generally follow the host. If they have some type of prayer thing, I will stay silent but not bow my head or fake pray since that seems more disrespectful TBH. If they want to hold hands, I guess I could go along with that.

But at my house, I do not pause for this tradition. People are of course free to silently pray before they start eating but I am not going to lead or allow anyone else to lead a community grace. It’s not a problem. People take their seats and I or DH say “bon appetit” and ask the college kid how her semester is going or something. It’s a non issue.

[Anonymous]

OP, when you travel around the world, are you also uncomfortable with others traditions and religions? Have you even attended Divali for example? Do you just get up and leave to the restroom? Would you ignore the request to cover yourself in Grand Mosque?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, when you travel around the world, are you also uncomfortable with others traditions and religions? Have you even attended Divali for example? Do you just get up and leave to the restroom? Would you ignore the request to cover yourself in Grand Mosque?

NP. As a guest at those events, I would happily follow whatever custom my host asks. As I would do in the case of prayers that a host wants to say at thanksgiving or frankly any other meal. I would not expect a Hindu guest I invite into my home to expect me to follow a Diwali custom in my house. I would not expect a Muslim to expect me to cover myself in my home. They are welcome to come in whatever outfit makes them comfortable, including a full covering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, when you travel around the world, are you also uncomfortable with others traditions and religions? Have you even attended Divali for example? Do you just get up and leave to the restroom? Would you ignore the request to cover yourself in Grand Mosque?

False equivalence and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It all sounds very performative and like they like drawing attention to themselves. Gross.

Do you say that about Japanese?