Visiting family - Prayers before meals

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles. They’re your in laws. You don’t live with them and probably don’t see them every week. Just think about something else while your head is bowed in “prayer.”

THis is not a big issue, OP. Just bow your head and move on. you don't need to crowd source this

No need

Just bow your head in subservience to someone else's belief that you don't share? Seriously? In your own house?

NFW.

They are the disrespectful ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles. They’re your in laws. You don’t live with them and probably don’t see them every week. Just think about something else while your head is bowed in “prayer.”

This.

Really?? Just think about something else while your head is bowed in “prayer.”?

Replace the word "prayer" with anything else you might be offended by in your home.

Just think about something else while they Hail Satan.

Just think about something else while they say racist stuff.

Just think about something else while they fart loudly.

Just think about something else while they complain about the food you cooked.

No, you wouldn't sit for any of that other stuff without comment, would you? So why does insisting someone who does not want to pray participate in prayer get a pass? This is not a legal/constitutional issue, as government is not involved.

If you think prayer is racism, you might have an issue with categorical thinking.

Both can be offensive to some people and not to others, correct?

But you keep straw-manning until you have a reasonable response.

DP. Calm down. Equating prayer with racism, in terms of their ability to offend snowflake you, is bonkers.

I did not equate them, I said some people are offended by either.

But no worries. Just pull that example and equate it with farting at the table.

“But it’s my legal right to fart! You can’t tell me not to fart or when or where I can fart!”

It would be just as impolite to fart at the dinner table as not allowing other guests a moment of prayer.

I know the social graces are lost on most of the posters to DCUM who are "In it to win it" and need to start shoveling the food into their mouths when the plates hit the table.

Can we at least agree what we are talking about?

I agree that you generally go with whatever the host wants. And if that is grace before dinner, great.

Do you agree that if the family gathering happens at a home that does not say grace before dinner, guests cannot impose their desire for prayers on the host? Like if thanksgiving was at the son’s house, the son and his wife should decide if they will say a prayer and not the parents?

It would be rude for guests to begin prayer without requesting permission from the host. It would be rude for the host to deny them permission because the request is not unreasonable or even unexpected. You might remember that the majority of Americans have some religious beliefs.

It is here that we disagree. I think it would be rude for the guest to ask permission for a group prayer at someone else’s house. It puts the host in an awkward position and the host would be well within societal bounds to respond with “oh we don’t do that at our house but I love the tradition when we visit you!” I see nothing wrong at all with the guest saying a silent prayer before they start eating.

+1 million

Why would a guest even ask that? So rude.

So you are another poster who has never had the experience of a guest asking to lead a prayer in your home- but just the mere suggestion that it could possibly happen is upsetting to you.

Do you think an atheist attending a dinner with family in the family’s home should refrain from eating until grace has been said, on the basis of good manners? Is it rude to eat while others pray?

I actually have someone just starting prayers before a meal without in our home. It was very rude and I was annoyed. We don't ask that family to join us anymore.

I would probably be quiet, but I wouldn't bow my head or anything like that. If it was taking a long time and everyone was at the table and served their food I might start eating. Or take a sip of my drink while rolling my eyes with the other people who have their eyes open.

What family did that, at what occasion? You banned what family members from your home for praying? Do other family members ask why certain people aren’t allowed in your home?

Older relative at a holiday meal years ago. We didn’t “ban” her, but we stopped inviting her to meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles. They’re your in laws. You don’t live with them and probably don’t see them every week. Just think about something else while your head is bowed in “prayer.”

This.

Really?? Just think about something else while your head is bowed in “prayer.”?

Replace the word "prayer" with anything else you might be offended by in your home.

Just think about something else while they Hail Satan.

Just think about something else while they say racist stuff.

Just think about something else while they fart loudly.

Just think about something else while they complain about the food you cooked.

No, you wouldn't sit for any of that other stuff without comment, would you? So why does insisting someone who does not want to pray participate in prayer get a pass? This is not a legal/constitutional issue, as government is not involved.

If you think prayer is racism, you might have an issue with categorical thinking.

Both can be offensive to some people and not to others, correct?

But you keep straw-manning until you have a reasonable response.

DP. Calm down. Equating prayer with racism, in terms of their ability to offend snowflake you, is bonkers.

I did not equate them, I said some people are offended by either.

But no worries. Just pull that example and equate it with farting at the table.

“But it’s my legal right to fart! You can’t tell me not to fart or when or where I can fart!”

It would be just as impolite to fart at the dinner table as not allowing other guests a moment of prayer.

I know the social graces are lost on most of the posters to DCUM who are "In it to win it" and need to start shoveling the food into their mouths when the plates hit the table.

Can we at least agree what we are talking about?

I agree that you generally go with whatever the host wants. And if that is grace before dinner, great.

Do you agree that if the family gathering happens at a home that does not say grace before dinner, guests cannot impose their desire for prayers on the host? Like if thanksgiving was at the son’s house, the son and his wife should decide if they will say a prayer and not the parents?

It would be rude for guests to begin prayer without requesting permission from the host. It would be rude for the host to deny them permission because the request is not unreasonable or even unexpected. You might remember that the majority of Americans have some religious beliefs.

It is here that we disagree. I think it would be rude for the guest to ask permission for a group prayer at someone else’s house. It puts the host in an awkward position and the host would be well within societal bounds to respond with “oh we don’t do that at our house but I love the tradition when we visit you!” I see nothing wrong at all with the guest saying a silent prayer before they start eating.

+1 million

Why would a guest even ask that? So rude.

So you are another poster who has never had the experience of a guest asking to lead a prayer in your home- but just the mere suggestion that it could possibly happen is upsetting to you.

Do you think an atheist attending a dinner with family in the family’s home should refrain from eating until grace has been said, on the basis of good manners? Is it rude to eat while others pray?

I am not atheist but rather belong to a religion that does not do prayers before dinner. My DH’s family does say grace before dinner. None of them have ever asked me or DH if they could say grace at our table in our home. I would think it rude if they did. But they are lovely people and it would never occur to them too ask.

I visit my ILs home often. They pray before dinner. I just sit there quietly and expect my children (their grandchildren) to do the same.

This stuff is not hard if you don’t make it hard.

+1 I think those who are militantly opposed to this stuff are few and far between. They have issues with their family, and aren’t accepting of their friends as many have stated they would not invite a friend back to their home if they asked to pray.

I think they are people without manners. They lack respect and seem to think eating while their friends and loved ones are saying grace is acceptable, and proudly state they would grab for a jalapeño popper while declaring God doesn’t exist, or fill their plates and eat while others are saying grace because they prepared all the food.

Bad manners and lack of basic respect for loved ones and friends, equals toxic and immature. No adult I have ever been acquainted with acted like this. I think these people are either highly un-self-aware or trolling.

If I prepared all the food then the grace should probably be about thanking ME! I didn’t see Jesus in the kitchen, peeling potatoes or basting the turkey.

That’s what thanksgiving is about. ME!

It’s about the food. Shut up and eat. I’d you want to pray, get the hell out of my house and go to church.

^^this is the quiet part out loud.

atheists: we simply don’t believe in God! That’s it! And we don’t need a higher power to threaten us to be kind and decent people! We do that because we instinctively know how to do those things. religious people are the jerks, they don’t like anyone who is different than they are.

But then an atheist describes how they would tell a guest to shut up, and throw that guest out of their house if they wanted to pray.

that’s the quiet part out loud.

There would be no throwing out, because I would never invite someone dumb enough to believe in the first place. Literally no one in my family or social circle believes in god.

Like President and Dr Jill Biden?

President and Mrs. Obama?

These guys?
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)
Ernst haeckel (1834 - 1919)
Ernest schrodinger (1887 - 1961)
Francis bacon (1561 - 1626)
Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642)
Gregor Mendel (1822 - 1884)
Guglielmo Marconi (1874 - 1937)

51% of scientists believe in a God. According to a 2009 Pew Research Center survey, American scientists are about half as likely as the general public to believe in God or a higher, universal power.

Born in 1564, huh? Very convincing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles. They’re your in laws. You don’t live with them and probably don’t see them every week. Just think about something else while your head is bowed in “prayer.”

This.

Really?? Just think about something else while your head is bowed in “prayer.”?

Replace the word "prayer" with anything else you might be offended by in your home.

Just think about something else while they Hail Satan.

Just think about something else while they say racist stuff.

Just think about something else while they fart loudly.

Just think about something else while they complain about the food you cooked.

No, you wouldn't sit for any of that other stuff without comment, would you? So why does insisting someone who does not want to pray participate in prayer get a pass? This is not a legal/constitutional issue, as government is not involved.

If you think prayer is racism, you might have an issue with categorical thinking.

Both can be offensive to some people and not to others, correct?

But you keep straw-manning until you have a reasonable response.

DP. Calm down. Equating prayer with racism, in terms of their ability to offend snowflake you, is bonkers.

I did not equate them, I said some people are offended by either.

But no worries. Just pull that example and equate it with farting at the table.

“But it’s my legal right to fart! You can’t tell me not to fart or when or where I can fart!”

It would be just as impolite to fart at the dinner table as not allowing other guests a moment of prayer.

I know the social graces are lost on most of the posters to DCUM who are "In it to win it" and need to start shoveling the food into their mouths when the plates hit the table.

Can we at least agree what we are talking about?

I agree that you generally go with whatever the host wants. And if that is grace before dinner, great.

Do you agree that if the family gathering happens at a home that does not say grace before dinner, guests cannot impose their desire for prayers on the host? Like if thanksgiving was at the son’s house, the son and his wife should decide if they will say a prayer and not the parents?

It would be rude for guests to begin prayer without requesting permission from the host. It would be rude for the host to deny them permission because the request is not unreasonable or even unexpected. You might remember that the majority of Americans have some religious beliefs.

It is here that we disagree. I think it would be rude for the guest to ask permission for a group prayer at someone else’s house. It puts the host in an awkward position and the host would be well within societal bounds to respond with “oh we don’t do that at our house but I love the tradition when we visit you!” I see nothing wrong at all with the guest saying a silent prayer before they start eating.

+1 million

Why would a guest even ask that? So rude.

So you are another poster who has never had the experience of a guest asking to lead a prayer in your home- but just the mere suggestion that it could possibly happen is upsetting to you.

Do you think an atheist attending a dinner with family in the family’s home should refrain from eating until grace has been said, on the basis of good manners? Is it rude to eat while others pray?

I am not atheist but rather belong to a religion that does not do prayers before dinner. My DH’s family does say grace before dinner. None of them have ever asked me or DH if they could say grace at our table in our home. I would think it rude if they did. But they are lovely people and it would never occur to them too ask.

I visit my ILs home often. They pray before dinner. I just sit there quietly and expect my children (their grandchildren) to do the same.

This stuff is not hard if you don’t make it hard.

+1 I think those who are militantly opposed to this stuff are few and far between. They have issues with their family, and aren’t accepting of their friends as many have stated they would not invite a friend back to their home if they asked to pray.

I think they are people without manners. They lack respect and seem to think eating while their friends and loved ones are saying grace is acceptable, and proudly state they would grab for a jalapeño popper while declaring God doesn’t exist, or fill their plates and eat while others are saying grace because they prepared all the food.

Bad manners and lack of basic respect for loved ones and friends, equals toxic and immature. No adult I have ever been acquainted with acted like this. I think these people are either highly un-self-aware or trolling.

If I prepared all the food then the grace should probably be about thanking ME! I didn’t see Jesus in the kitchen, peeling potatoes or basting the turkey.

That’s what thanksgiving is about. ME!

It’s about the food. Shut up and eat. I’d you want to pray, get the hell out of my house and go to church.

^^this is the quiet part out loud.

atheists: we simply don’t believe in God! That’s it! And we don’t need a higher power to threaten us to be kind and decent people! We do that because we instinctively know how to do those things. religious people are the jerks, they don’t like anyone who is different than they are.

But then an atheist describes how they would tell a guest to shut up, and throw that guest out of their house if they wanted to pray.

that’s the quiet part out loud.

There would be no throwing out, because I would never invite someone dumb enough to believe in the first place. Literally no one in my family or social circle believes in god.

Like President and Dr Jill Biden?

President and Mrs. Obama?

These guys?
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)
Ernst haeckel (1834 - 1919)
Ernest schrodinger (1887 - 1961)
Francis bacon (1561 - 1626)
Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642)
Gregor Mendel (1822 - 1884)
Guglielmo Marconi (1874 - 1937)

51% of scientists believe in a God. According to a 2009 Pew Research Center survey, American scientists are about half as likely as the general public to believe in God or a higher, universal power.

Born in 1564, huh? Very convincing.

And the post is misleading as hell also. For instance Einstein did NOT believe in the Abrahamic god in any way. He used Spinoza's god to desribe mysteries and things in the universe which are not yet explained. The universe itself was the god he worshipped and there is no evidence he believed in ANYTHING supernatural, despite many spin articles you will read on religious websites.

At least PP admits : "American scientists are about half as likely as the general public to believe in God or a higher, universal power."

And even that is from a nearly 15 year old poll.

[Anonymous]

Be careful talking about scientists & religion. You might trigger the wikipedia troll. They copy & paste countless articles from wikipedia, mostly off topic, to derail conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be careful talking about scientists & religion. You might trigger the wikipedia troll. They copy & paste countless articles from wikipedia, mostly off topic, to derail conversation.

One troll per thread is enough.

[Anonymous]

Help! Someone on my family believes in a different religion/any religion, so I must run to DCUM to throw a hissy fit!

Look, we all have annoying family members. The sister who over-organizes the meal her way, the ILs who are freeloaders, the BIL who talks your ear off about formula one racing. Also the BIL who talks about his atheism constantly (is that you?). The poster who compared religion to racism is a nutcase, and prayer is comparable to these other cases. We don’t ban these people, Jesus, they’re family.

[Anonymous]

BIL and SIL are always bringing up their atheism in conversation. We aren’t super-religious, but we are somewhat religious. So their gifts of the Mary statue with lots of smug laughter, and the complete works of Douglas Adams for our kids, seems provocative. I wish I were making this up.

Can we ban them? Or would that be as petty and intolerant as DCUM’s bigoted atheists?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help! Someone on my family believes in a different religion/any religion, so I must run to DCUM to throw a hissy fit!

Look, we all have annoying family members. The sister who over-organizes the meal her way, the ILs who are freeloaders, the BIL who talks your ear off about formula one racing. Also the BIL who talks about his atheism constantly (is that you?). The poster who compared religion to racism is a nutcase, and prayer is comparable to these other cases. We don’t ban these people, Jesus, they’re family.

Mental Illness as an Insult poster strikes again! You just can't help yourself, you repulsive creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BIL and SIL are always bringing up their atheism in conversation. We aren’t super-religious, but we are somewhat religious. So their gifts of the Mary statue with lots of smug laughter, and the complete works of Douglas Adams for our kids, seems provocative. I wish I were making this up.

Can we ban them? Or would that be as petty and intolerant as DCUM’s bigoted atheists?

Are you seriously asking if you can stop inviting people who are rude and disrespectful of your wishes to your home?

OF COURSE YOU CAN.

Did you read the 17 pages of people asserting exactly that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BIL and SIL are always bringing up their atheism in conversation. We aren’t super-religious, but we are somewhat religious. So their gifts of the Mary statue with lots of smug laughter, and the complete works of Douglas Adams for our kids, seems provocative. I wish I were making this up.

Can we ban them? Or would that be as petty and intolerant as DCUM’s bigoted atheists?

Are you seriously asking if you can stop inviting people who are rude and disrespectful of your wishes to your home?

OF COURSE YOU CAN.

Did you read the 17 pages of people asserting exactly that?

Atheists can't seem to manage it. But they lack any sort of conviction, so I can understand it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BIL and SIL are always bringing up their atheism in conversation. We aren’t super-religious, but we are somewhat religious. So their gifts of the Mary statue with lots of smug laughter, and the complete works of Douglas Adams for our kids, seems provocative. I wish I were making this up.

Can we ban them? Or would that be as petty and intolerant as DCUM’s bigoted atheists?

Are you seriously asking if you can stop inviting people who are rude and disrespectful of your wishes to your home?

OF COURSE YOU CAN.

Did you read the 17 pages of people asserting exactly that?

Atheists can't seem to manage it. But they lack any sort of conviction, so I can understand it.

WTF are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BIL and SIL are always bringing up their atheism in conversation. We aren’t super-religious, but we are somewhat religious. So their gifts of the Mary statue with lots of smug laughter, and the complete works of Douglas Adams for our kids, seems provocative. I wish I were making this up.

Can we ban them? Or would that be as petty and intolerant as DCUM’s bigoted atheists?

Invite who you want to invite. Why do you need the permission of random anonymous people on the interwebs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BIL and SIL are always bringing up their atheism in conversation. We aren’t super-religious, but we are somewhat religious. So their gifts of the Mary statue with lots of smug laughter, and the complete works of Douglas Adams for our kids, seems provocative. I wish I were making this up.

Can we ban them? Or would that be as petty and intolerant as DCUM’s bigoted atheists?

Are you seriously asking if you can stop inviting people who are rude and disrespectful of your wishes to your home?

OF COURSE YOU CAN.

Did you read the 17 pages of people asserting exactly that?

Atheists can't seem to manage it. But they lack any sort of conviction, so I can understand it.

Can’t manage what?

We stopped invited rude/annoying people in our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BIL and SIL are always bringing up their atheism in conversation. We aren’t super-religious, but we are somewhat religious. So their gifts of the Mary statue with lots of smug laughter, and the complete works of Douglas Adams for our kids, seems provocative. I wish I were making this up.

Can we ban them? Or would that be as petty and intolerant as DCUM’s bigoted atheists?

What Mary statue? Hate it when people write about obscure things as if they’re common knowledge.