15 year old hanging with adults all night- is this normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another question from OP- obviously, my oldest kid is 11. I don’t know any 15 year olds well at all (no close friends with kids that age). Why would I be expected to know their developmental level and what’s appropriate/typical behavior? That’s literally what I’m here asking about but people are criticizing me for…not knowing what I don’t know? What I came here to ask? Too funny

Bet you have an immature 11 year old boy you don’t enjoy. My teen girls are lovely.

I’m sure they are, but they are not who I look forward to talking to on a Friday night over a glass of wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate when we hang out with families like this. I do not want to spend my Saturday night having to be polite to the stupid stuff your 15 year old says. I want adult time. Tell your teen to find something to do.

There is much to love about American culture, but this statement features the flaws and failings America society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bonus to the 15 year old talking with adults, you are getting a sneak peak into teen life- very useful!

Nobody wants this. Sorry. Your kid isn’t the gift to the world you think they are.

I was the one who found talking to older kids useful. I find it helpful to know the kinds of stuff my kids will be experiencing since its been a long time since I have been a kid. All teens are different, but what school kids are experiencing now are similar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
What on earth did you expect to talk about that you couldn't broach in front of a 15 year old? Your swinging proposition? Your binges? Your new sex tape?

Teens are developmentally ready to talk with adults. I have an 18 year old in college and a 13 year old - they can talk and opine about current events, and they're mature enough to hear about personal struggles (sanitized for the 13 year old). When he was 15, my son would often hang out with the adults, because we have a social circle where he has always been the oldest. So unless his friends were there, he would gravitate towards us, listen nonchalantly and interject perfectly appropriate comments or questions.

I know you think your teens are fascinating, but adults don’t want to spend all evening talking to them. Sorry.

No, she shouldn’t have been a babysitter, but she should have stayed home alone and if there’s a valid reason that isn’t feasible, go into another room with her phone.

you know you can change the subject right?

Are you the OP now just posting in third person because this lack of empathy reeks of OP. This 15yo is in a split custody situation. Of course she is going to want to spend time with her dad just as he wants to spend time with her. All these updates with mixed signals, oh she was boring, pedantic and discussed in depth being a vegan but also she was just lovely...sounds like a troll.

Haha I’m the OP. Not a troll I don’t have time for that. We didn’t know the dad had a shared custody situation or another kid until the day of. Of course I wouldn’t desire the kid to be left home alone if she wants to come, I’m not monster.

Y’all are punking me, right? You really want to chat over wine with a 15 year old about all their extracurriculars and ap scores for 4 hours on a Saturday night? Cmon now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another question from OP- obviously, my oldest kid is 11. I don’t know any 15 year olds well at all (no close friends with kids that age). Why would I be expected to know their developmental level and what’s appropriate/typical behavior? That’s literally what I’m here asking about but people are criticizing me for…not knowing what I don’t know? What I came here to ask? Too funny

Bet you have an immature 11 year old boy you don’t enjoy. My teen girls are lovely.

I’m sure they are, but they are not who I look forward to talking to on a Friday night over a glass of wine.

I'm sure they aren't looking forward to talking to you either, but they are doing the best once they are stuck with your unpleasant family.

Thinking that 15 year old wants to hang out with "kiddos" maybe be part of your problem". 15 year olds are becoming young adults.

[Anonymous]

I would prefer my child to be amongst peers, but as long as there was no drinking, drugs, cursing, or adult topics I would be okay. Lots of families socialize like this. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and any children around.

[Anonymous]

I’ve experienced this too. Usually the teen is not as precocious as the parents think she and no adults aren’t crazy for not wanting to socialize with a 15 year old for 3 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another question from OP- obviously, my oldest kid is 11. I don’t know any 15 year olds well at all (no close friends with kids that age). Why would I be expected to know their developmental level and what’s appropriate/typical behavior? That’s literally what I’m here asking about but people are criticizing me for…not knowing what I don’t know? What I came here to ask? Too funny

Bet you have an immature 11 year old boy you don’t enjoy. My teen girls are lovely.

I’m sure they are, but they are not who I look forward to talking to on a Friday night over a glass of wine.

I'm sure they aren't looking forward to talking to you either, but they are doing the best once they are stuck with your unpleasant family.

Thinking that 15 year old wants to hang out with "kiddos" maybe be part of your problem". 15 year olds are becoming young adults.

Young adults who can stay home. Or go out with friends. Or stay in their room and text with their friends. Why was the 15 yr old even there after dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Okay. So if this is normal, I just need to prepare to socialize with my friends and a 15 year old everytime we host them?

Im aware this sounds stupid, but do you all just sort of accept that you have to chat with boring and pedantic teens now (this one was a vegan and told us all about it) when you are trying to socialize with other adults?

You sound horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you ATA here.

You're immature and selfish.

This man is being a great dad to his daughter, if you are really their friends you would welcome their teen to your table-- the more the merrier.

The fact that you tried to fob her off onto screens (movie and vied games) and she preferred to be with actual humans having areal conversations speaks volumes about both of your values and character.

Won't be surprised when this attitude bites you in the arse when your own kids become teens.

You’re ridiculous. This isn’t going to “bite OP in the arse” (stop with the affectation — you’re not British, and don’t lie and say you are), because she will establish appropriation boundaries with her teenagers so they don’t hang around and interrupt adults trying to have a conversation all night.

No, they are going to spend most of the time in their rooms on their phones and OP will be paying through the nose for various therapies and social skills groups.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t read the whole thread, but yes, normal, as in many 15 year olds would prefer the company of adults to an 11 year old (and younger). Not all, but some. It’s interesting they chose to attend instead of staying home - but maybe there’s something going on you’re not aware of.

I’m happy to talk with my friends’ teens sometimes, but not every time we see them. Try being explicit about wanting an adults-only night and see what they say, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Okay. So if this is normal, I just need to prepare to socialize with my friends and a 15 year old everytime we host them?

Im aware this sounds stupid, but do you all just sort of accept that you have to chat with boring and pedantic teens now (this one was a vegan and told us all about it) when you are trying to socialize with other adults?

You sound horrible.

+1. You also sound like an extremely boring conversationalist and are only able to socialize comfortably with a very narrow range of people who are just like you. Your friend and his daughter is better off not having to deal with your company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love how this thread turned into everyone bragging about their ability to socialize with children on a Saturday night and how much they love it …. Post it again in a month OP and say you love hanging out with your friends teens and the same people will come ridicule you for being weird. It’s just about being critical. Next thread

Sadly this is the nature of DCUM these days. People are just so unhappy in their own lives and/or see this site as entertainment fodder and not interested in logical thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another question from OP- obviously, my oldest kid is 11. I don’t know any 15 year olds well at all (no close friends with kids that age). Why would I be expected to know their developmental level and what’s appropriate/typical behavior? That’s literally what I’m here asking about but people are criticizing me for…not knowing what I don’t know? What I came here to ask? Too funny

Bet you have an immature 11 year old boy you don’t enjoy. My teen girls are lovely.

I’m sure they are, but they are not who I look forward to talking to on a Friday night over a glass of wine.

I'm sure they aren't looking forward to talking to you either, but they are doing the best once they are stuck with your unpleasant family.

Thinking that 15 year old wants to hang out with "kiddos" maybe be part of your problem". 15 year olds are becoming young adults.

But, they aren't adults. Idk, but I'd want my kid to hang out with kids and not rush adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another question from OP- obviously, my oldest kid is 11. I don’t know any 15 year olds well at all (no close friends with kids that age). Why would I be expected to know their developmental level and what’s appropriate/typical behavior? That’s literally what I’m here asking about but people are criticizing me for…not knowing what I don’t know? What I came here to ask? Too funny

Bet you have an immature 11 year old boy you don’t enjoy. My teen girls are lovely.

I’m sure they are, but they are not who I look forward to talking to on a Friday night over a glass of wine.

I'm sure they aren't looking forward to talking to you either, but they are doing the best once they are stuck with your unpleasant family.

Thinking that 15 year old wants to hang out with "kiddos" maybe be part of your problem". 15 year olds are becoming young adults.

Young adults who can stay home. Or go out with friends. Or stay in their room and text with their friends. Why was the 15 yr old even there after dinner?

DP. There could be lots of reasons. Maybe she had a rough day and didn’t want to be alone. Maybe OP wasn’t clear in her invitation and they felt like they were expected to bring her. Maybe she doesn’t have a lot of friends—this is incredibly common among teens these days—and just felt like being around other people. Regardless, there’s no indication that they do this all the time. It could have just been a one-off, so maybe extend a little grace to teenagers in awkward stages of their lives, when apparently even random adults are judging their choices about who they hung out with over the weekend.