15 year old hanging with adults all night- is this normal?

[Anonymous]

Hi all!

Im a mom of 3 school aged kids (11 and younger), so Im not really sure what is in the realm of normal behavior for ages 13-18. DH and I have recently started socializing with a couple who has one younger child together and the husband has a 15 year old daughter from a previous marriage. He splits custody of the daughter.

They came over for dinner on the weekend, and I assumed the 15 year old would want to hang in the kid area maybe playing video games with my 11 year old or just doing whatever with the kiddos. Instead, the teen chose to sit with the adults the whole night, first when we were out back drinking and socializing, then throughout dinner being served and eaten (the kids were served earlier), and even until after dinner. The teen interjected into conversation in a mostly appropriate manner, but still.... they are 15. It sort of put a damper on the evening for me as I felt I couldn't be as open with my friends as I usually would without a kid present and engaged.

So my question to this group is, is this normal for the kid to hang with adults all night at their age? Is this something I should expect more as my kids grown older and we continue to socialize at home with other families?

Thanks y'all!

[Anonymous]

Not abnormal. She didn't want to be a defacto babysitter either.

[Anonymous]

Completely normal. My 15 yo DD absolutely prefers adults to kids 11 and under! How is this even a question?

[Anonymous]

Not normal and super weird that they brought her. A 15 year old doesn’t want to hang out with an 11 year old.

[Anonymous]

I think that sounds pretty typical unless there are other teenagers to socialize with.

[Anonymous]

There is a huge age difference between 11 and 15. Maybe next time play a movie for the kids or invite them on a weekend he does not have the teen?

I would expect as your kids get older so will the other kids you invite. In this case she was an outlier due to age. Does her dad live near the mom/school/friends? Usually a kid that age would have plans with peers. Shared custody can be really hard on that.

[Anonymous]

I mean I don't think a 15 year old would want to play with an 11 year old or younger. Was that the first-time meeting everyone? Maybe she didn't feel comfortable hanging out elsewhere?

[Anonymous]

OP here- Okay. So if this is normal, I just need to prepare to socialize with my friends and a 15 year old everytime we host them?

Im aware this sounds stupid, but do you all just sort of accept that you have to chat with boring and pedantic teens now (this one was a vegan and told us all about it) when you are trying to socialize with other adults?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a huge age difference between 11 and 15. Maybe next time play a movie for the kids or invite them on a weekend he does not have the teen?

I would expect as your kids get older so will the other kids you invite. In this case she was an outlier due to age. Does her dad live near the mom/school/friends? Usually a kid that age would have plans with peers. Shared custody can be really hard on that.

I offered a movie to the teen and they declined. I also offered their choice of video games and they declined.

[Anonymous]

I hate when we hang out with families like this. I do not want to spend my Saturday night having to be polite to the stupid stuff your 15 year old says. I want adult time. Tell your teen to find something to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Okay. So if this is normal, I just need to prepare to socialize with my friends and a 15 year old everytime we host them?

Im aware this sounds stupid, but do you all just sort of accept that you have to chat with boring and pedantic teens now (this one was a vegan and told us all about it) when you are trying to socialize with other adults?

I feel like having a 15 year old learn appropriate social interaction is really good in this day and age instead of just being glued to a screen. It takes practice but this is a great time to learn. If you are uncomfortable with it, you need to speak up and say it’s an adults only dinner.

[Anonymous]

What on earth did you expect to talk about that you couldn't broach in front of a 15 year old? Your swinging proposition? Your binges? Your new sex tape?

Teens are developmentally ready to talk with adults. I have an 18 year old in college and a 13 year old - they can talk and opine about current events, and they're mature enough to hear about personal struggles (sanitized for the 13 year old). When he was 15, my son would often hang out with the adults, because we have a social circle where he has always been the oldest. So unless his friends were there, he would gravitate towards us, listen nonchalantly and interject perfectly appropriate comments or questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Okay. So if this is normal, I just need to prepare to socialize with my friends and a 15 year old everytime we host them?

Im aware this sounds stupid, but do you all just sort of accept that you have to chat with boring and pedantic teens now (this one was a vegan and told us all about it) when you are trying to socialize with other adults?

NP. Now she’s boring and pedantic because you were hoping that the answers would prove you were “right.” This post is boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate when we hang out with families like this. I do not want to spend my Saturday night having to be polite to the stupid stuff your 15 year old says. I want adult time. Tell your teen to find something to do.

Wow. Do your friends a favor and don't invite them as often, or at all. Go party in a nightclub instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Okay. So if this is normal, I just need to prepare to socialize with my friends and a 15 year old everytime we host them?

Im aware this sounds stupid, but do you all just sort of accept that you have to chat with boring and pedantic teens now (this one was a vegan and told us all about it) when you are trying to socialize with other adults?

Maybe your friends brought a 15 year old along in an attempt to avoid yet another conversation about your preferred adult topics.