15 year old hanging with adults all night- is this normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Okay. So if this is normal, I just need to prepare to socialize with my friends and a 15 year old everytime we host them?

Im aware this sounds stupid, but do you all just sort of accept that you have to chat with boring and pedantic teens now (this one was a vegan and told us all about it) when you are trying to socialize with other adults?

The problem is that your attitude is not normal. First, try to realize that you don't need to act fake, just be real and be yourself, and treat her the same as everyone else in the room. You should also realize that there is a possibility that you might be the boring one, not her. From your description, I imagine you are the type who puts kids on screens for a large chunk of the day rather than interacting with them, or (gasp!) teaching them something. Usually, the kids who are left to their own devices (no pun intended) are the ones who have a more difficult time with school and life. The teen you mentioned sounds quite aware and developed and you sound like you cannot have a very meaningful conversation beyond socializing.

[Anonymous]

I expect 15 year old normally would not want to hang out with 11 & younger group or sit/chat with adult groups for a long time. They may do that briefly out of politeness, and then they would go back to their cellphone or music with earpiece.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 15 year old willing to hang out with adults? Many parents would love that! So many just stuck on their phones or hiding in their rooms.

My kid is an only child. If forced to choose between the adult table and hanging with much younger kids? He’d likely choose the adults, too. It’s what he’s comfortable doing and he’s not a babysitter!

I get that you wanted to have some “more adult” conversation. But then you also invited the kids. If you want pure adult time, invite adults. If you want family time, invite the full family (i.e., which is what you did). So this is on you, OP.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally get it. One of my friends often brings her tween daughter to "girls' brunch", and we have four-five 40+ year-olds and a tween, who is lovely, but everyone avoids sitting with the tween because everyone has one at home and they are there for desperately needed adult talk.

Dinner at home is a bit different because presumably the whole family is invited. I would view the 16-year-old as a guest in my house and make sure she is comfortable and reasonably entertained. I might offer everyone a board game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Okay. So if this is normal, I just need to prepare to socialize with my friends and a 15 year old everytime we host them?

Im aware this sounds stupid, but do you all just sort of accept that you have to chat with boring and pedantic teens now (this one was a vegan and told us all about it) when you are trying to socialize with other adults?

The problem is that your attitude is not normal. First, try to realize that you don't need to act fake, just be real and be yourself, and treat her the same as everyone else in the room. You should also realize that there is a possibility that you might be the boring one, not her. From your description, I imagine you are the type who puts kids on screens for a large chunk of the day rather than interacting with them, or (gasp!) teaching them something. Usually, the kids who are left to their own devices (no pun intended) are the ones who have a more difficult time with school and life. The teen you mentioned sounds quite aware and developed and you sound like you cannot have a very meaningful conversation beyond socializing.

+1 NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- Okay. So if this is normal, I just need to prepare to socialize with my friends and a 15 year old everytime we host them?

Im aware this sounds stupid, but do you all just sort of accept that you have to chat with boring and pedantic teens now (this one was a vegan and told us all about it) when you are trying to socialize with other adults?

The problem is that your attitude is not normal. First, try to realize that you don't need to act fake, just be real and be yourself, and treat her the same as everyone else in the room. You should also realize that there is a possibility that you might be the boring one, not her. From your description, I imagine you are the type who puts kids on screens for a large chunk of the day rather than interacting with them, or (gasp!) teaching them something. Usually, the kids who are left to their own devices (no pun intended) are the ones who have a more difficult time with school and life. The teen you mentioned sounds quite aware and developed and you sound like you cannot have a very meaningful conversation beyond socializing.

Op, you attitude is normal. I have no desire to talk to children that I'm not related to. Lesson learned. I wouldn't invite over the entire family.

The teen would not want to hang out with an 11 year old unless she is babysitting. That's not normal for her either. It just sounds like your family members ages don't match well for group interaction.

[Anonymous]

Why did you feed the 11 and 13 year old earlier? They are not toddlers.

[Anonymous]

My kid (15) likes being around my adult friends- they know they don't have to stay sober or avoid any topics around her. I don't bring her with me too often, but when I do, she can hang. Normally in a setting with other kids, my kid would hang with them but hey. It was one time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you feed the 11 and 13 year old earlier? They are not toddlers.

I don't think there was a 13 year old. There was an 11 year old and then even younger kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid (15) likes being around my adult friends- they know they don't have to stay sober or avoid any topics around her. I don't bring her with me too often, but when I do, she can hang. Normally in a setting with other kids, my kid would hang with them but hey. It was one time.

Sp you are comfortable with your adults having a graphic conversation with your 15 year old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid (15) likes being around my adult friends- they know they don't have to stay sober or avoid any topics around her. I don't bring her with me too often, but when I do, she can hang. Normally in a setting with other kids, my kid would hang with them but hey. It was one time.

Sp you are comfortable with your adults having a graphic conversation with your 15 year old?

NP I am comfortable with adults discussing around my 15 year old any topic that they may encounter in mainstream media, say NYTimes. That includes politics, health, schools, immigration, sex workers, and so on.

[Anonymous]

Some of you are unhinged acting like OP is trapped in the ninth circle of hell and her eternal pushment is to endure conversation with an awkward teen stranger. What's important is that OP can avoid this in the future now that she knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another question from OP- obviously, my oldest kid is 11. I don’t know any 15 year olds well at all (no close friends with kids that age). Why would I be expected to know their developmental level and what’s appropriate/typical behavior? That’s literally what I’m here asking about but people are criticizing me for…not knowing what I don’t know? What I came here to ask? Too funny

Were you ever 15 OP?

Then you should know.

I'm late to the party, and have read this entire thread, and am really surprised at all these kids that would rather hang out with the adults. That's a strange concept to me.

Yea I can see why you wouldn’t know. Because your 11 year old is clearly either immature for their age or doesn’t like you very much. Because most kids that age will want to hang with adults over small children.

[Anonymous]

I've read this entire thread and am honestly surprised that so many kids would rather hang out with the adults. That definitely was not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've read this entire thread and am honestly surprised that so many kids would rather hang out with the adults. That definitely was not me.

Of course they do - they want to hear what adults are talking or gossiping about.